Block party etiquette?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. If I really wanted to go, I'd put in like $20. Or if DH and I both go, $30. $50/pp for a party I didn't ask for and was first invited to and then asked for donations? No thanks.

If I didn't want to go, but wanted to be social, I'd show up with a bottle of wine or some beer and say "Hey, Host! Party looks great! Can't stay long but we really wanted to stop by and say hello." And then chat with neighbors and leave when you want.

This is what I would do, honestly. I wouldn’t eat or drink, but would socialize in the public street with other neighbors, and of course listen to the music, which would be unavoidable even from a block away, I’d imagine. I’d probably bring a host gift, because I’m just that type of person. But I would in no way feel obligated to fund any aspect of an event I didn’t coordinate or anticipate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't come up with the idea for the block party? You weren't asked for approval beforehand? You weren't included in the planning? Your life is being disrupted by a party on your block despite not having any say in it?

You have every right to attend and zero obligation to fund it. Honestly I'm surprised the permit was even approved. (if they bothered to get a permit at all) In DC you need signatures from like 80% of the block to get a permit.

There seems to be confusion here that 80% = 100%…

There's no confusion. Whether it's 50%, 80%, or 100% OP wasn't consulted and had no input, so they have no obligation to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You didn't come up with the idea for the block party? You weren't asked for approval beforehand? You weren't included in the planning? Your life is being disrupted by a party on your block despite not having any say in it?

You have every right to attend and zero obligation to fund it. Honestly I'm surprised the permit was even approved. (if they bothered to get a permit at all) In DC you need signatures from like 80% of the block to get a permit.

There seems to be confusion here that 80% = 100%…

There's no confusion. Whether it's 50%, 80%, or 100% OP wasn't consulted and had no input, so they have no obligation to pay.

Then they also shouldn’t attend then

[Anonymous]

I would never bring cash or assume I would pay someone cash at the event. It sounds like he is hosting and you can just attend. You live on the block, if you need cash or it’s BYOB, you can pop home quickly.

I would ask neighbors if they are pitching in and Venmo / Zelle / Cash app him some money if they do. If not, just pop by in a few days or the following weekend with a basket of pastries or breakfast items

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually this is coordinated by more than one family and the money is discussed with the block.

Not this one! He just came over and said he had already met with the city and that he’d be printing flyers this weekend, but wanted to give a heads up since he saw us outside. Said he throws a big party every year (which we’ve seen) and thought he’d just throw a block party this year.

Great idea! We have had this in most of the communities in which we lived. There was one Stepford type place, where most of the families were invited, but not all (including my friends, who were next door neighbors of the host), and that was by far the strangest place (people claimed to be so neighborly, but their words did not match their actions).

Block parties are fun! We have them where we live now - live pop band, indoor/outdoor catered set up, and kids activities. Big age range, not just young families (but many), which is also nice. A block party that includes the whole block/neighborhood generally means it is a pleasant, inclusive, but not boundary lacking place to live OP. Bring a bottle of wine for the host. Have fun!

This PP here. We have never been charged for a block party, so I find this unusual, OP. Just stop by, bring a bottle of wine, don't eat, stay 20 minutes, and say you have a prior commitment. Done. and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually this is coordinated by more than one family and the money is discussed with the block.

Not this one! He just came over and said he had already met with the city and that he’d be printing flyers this weekend, but wanted to give a heads up since he saw us outside. Said he throws a big party every year (which we’ve seen) and thought he’d just throw a block party this year.

Ah-ha! Now this makes sense. Bingo, OP. He is clever. He’s found a way to guilt you all into funding his annual shindig. Don’t fall for it!

[Anonymous]

Your neighbors sounds fun!

[Anonymous]

I would contribute $20-25 per person. I doubt anyone is contributing more than $100 per household.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would contribute $20-25 per person. I doubt anyone is contributing more than $100 per household.

Thanks. If we decide to eat, I have no problem dropping $100 to have a meal planned and prepared for us.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone actually ask you for money? When you go to a friend’s cookout to do you give them money? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On our block people would contribute food and contribute cash for the other expenses. This sounds more like a private party for the neighbors.

That’s essentially what he said, he’s throwing a huge party and inviting the block. He mentioned it’s an annual gathering and that his family and friends will be in attendance. This is what leads me to believe he’s anticipating donations?

It sounds the opposite. He's throwing a party like he does every year, this year he invited some neighbors to also join. Sounds like a nice guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually this is coordinated by more than one family and the money is discussed with the block.

Not this one! He just came over and said he had already met with the city and that he’d be printing flyers this weekend, but wanted to give a heads up since he saw us outside. Said he throws a big party every year (which we’ve seen) and thought he’d just throw a block party this year.

Ah-ha! Now this makes sense. Bingo, OP. He is clever. He’s found a way to guilt you all into funding his annual shindig. Don’t fall for it!

This may be how all his previous big parties operated. He expanded the guest list to the whole block, so it was unclear to new invitees the process. To me it seems like he’s striking a balance between hosting everyone for free or forcing everyone attending into a per head cost. It allows people to decide how to participate (amount of food, drinks to consume) and to pay what they are comfortable with without feeling indebted to him.

OP - just go and decide at the moment what to pay based on what you end up eating and drinking and how fancy it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think $30/person is cheap for all that. I would do a minimum of $50/person.

That’s cool, then you pay that. OP wasn’t consulted about any of this. This feels icky, like the neighbor wanted to throw a bash and have his neighbors fund it, all without their approval. I second hoping nobody shows up.

Seriously! Don’t spend my money for me. Give me the info in advance and I’ll decide if it works for me.