Power of Attorney for rising college freshman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, parents these days have lost their minds. Millions upon millions upon millions of 18 year olds are going off to college without a hitch.

And last year at least 2 kids at WM and one kid at my other child’s SLAC died. The fact millions of kids are fine doesn’t negate the fact that a smal subset have life threatening emergencies. And sadly, in a psych emergency or with substance abuse or EDs (which often develop in the college age group), part of an illness can be refusing care. Declaring incompetence at that point is tough and involves a Court hearing.

Something else to consider. You don’t know how you or your spouse will react until you get a midnight call. If you disagree on how to proceed, then what?

Your kid needs to choose one primary decision maker. And that decision maker should talk to their child and know their child’s wishes. And that is true for EVERY ADULT not jst college kids.

The graduations and heading to college shopping are fun. But there are also serious parts to launching a young adult. This is one. Parent up and do it. Scan a copy into your phone. Then lock the original away and pray you never need it. During your child’s 4 years, some parents at his or her college absolutely will.

[Anonymous]

Coming in to this a bit late. We are in VA and son is going to college out of state. So we just need Health POA form signed and notarized - one for VA and one for the college state - is that right? And we just keep those forms with us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coming in to this a bit late. We are in VA and son is going to college out of state. So we just need Health POA form signed and notarized - one for VA and one for the college state - is that right? And we just keep those forms with us?

Yes

[Anonymous]

NP here. Thank you to all of the PPs with helpful information about this. I have some questions about using a healthcare power of attorney document for my child. If my child signs this and appoints me, her mom, as her representative, can I call any medical facility where she has been treated, whether it was an emergency or otherwise, and ask for her medical records, or is the document only "active" if DD is not able to make decisions on her own, like she is in a coma?

Also, if there is an emergency situation, how does this work in practice if I am across the country and she is unconscious? How would the hospital even know to call me in the first place? And if they do figure out to call me, would I email/text them a copy of the power of attorney document and that gives them permission to explain to me what is going on medically?

Thanks for helping me to understand this all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone told me today that I need to get a Power of Attorney for my kid who is going to college this fall. The scenario raised was that if DS was somehow incapacitated a hospital would not be able to talk with me (his parent) about his care as he is over 18. I'm sure there are many lawyers on this board (as well as college parents of course) - thoughts?

Thanks.

Can someone give me the simple steps of what I need to do and which forms I should get? Print them out, then what? Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I use PoA to get access to my child's records and grades that the university won't give me?

If you're paying for school you tell your child you get to see grades or you don't pay. No form needed.

+1 This is a no-brainer.

[Anonymous]

https://powerofattorney.com/massachusetts/

Which forms do I need? There are so many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone told me today that I need to get a Power of Attorney for my kid who is going to college this fall. The scenario raised was that if DS was somehow incapacitated a hospital would not be able to talk with me (his parent) about his care as he is over 18. I'm sure there are many lawyers on this board (as well as college parents of course) - thoughts?

Thanks.

Can someone give me the simple steps of what I need to do and which forms I should get? Print them out, then what? Thank you

Mama Bear legal forms has this done. It is very possible to look them up and download for free, but it was worth the time it saved for me.

[Anonymous]

My kid is going out of state and am planning to get this done. Kid turns 18 during fall semester. So will the form still be valid if we get it signed/notarized now or do we have to wait till kid turns 18? Sorry, not familiar with the rules and hope someone was in a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone told me today that I need to get a Power of Attorney for my kid who is going to college this fall. The scenario raised was that if DS was somehow incapacitated a hospital would not be able to talk with me (his parent) about his care as he is over 18. I'm sure there are many lawyers on this board (as well as college parents of course) - thoughts?

Thanks.

Can someone give me the simple steps of what I need to do and which forms I should get? Print them out, then what? Thank you

Mama Bear legal forms has this done. It is very possible to look them up and download for free, but it was worth the time it saved for me.

Plus it has an app where you can upload the signed forms and email them if they are needed.

[Anonymous]

I see people recommending Mama Bear. Did you all actually read the forms? I paid for them and then decided not to use them because some of the language was weird. For example, this:

I believe that my life is precious, and I wish to live and enjoy my life as long as possible. I do not want health care providers to act or fail to act in a way that will intentionally cause my death. However, I do not wish to receive medical treatment which will only postpone the moment of my death from an end stage condition or prolong a permanently unconscious state.

Both my spouse and I have POA docs and they don't contain statements of beliefs about life or whatever. I have no idea if there are any legal implications from those statements, but we just had our family lawyer draw up docs instead. We had the HIPAA information authorization, health care POA, and financial POA documents done. DS had a choice about whether he wanted to sign them, and he said he did. He knows this means we have access to his medical and financial information, but he trusts us and knows we will only access it if he asks or if it's an emergency. We were on the fence about whether we even needed the financial one, but decided might as well get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see people recommending Mama Bear. Did you all actually read the forms? I paid for them and then decided not to use them because some of the language was weird. For example, this:

I believe that my life is precious, and I wish to live and enjoy my life as long as possible. I do not want health care providers to act or fail to act in a way that will intentionally cause my death. However, I do not wish to receive medical treatment which will only postpone the moment of my death from an end stage condition or prolong a permanently unconscious state.

Both my spouse and I have POA docs and they don't contain statements of beliefs about life or whatever. I have no idea if there are any legal implications from those statements, but we just had our family lawyer draw up docs instead. We had the HIPAA information authorization, health care POA, and financial POA documents done. DS had a choice about whether he wanted to sign them, and he said he did. He knows this means we have access to his medical and financial information, but he trusts us and knows we will only access it if he asks or if it's an emergency. We were on the fence about whether we even needed the financial one, but decided might as well get it.

That language would not scare me as an attorney. There is some reason it is worded that way (not my area)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. Thank you to all of the PPs with helpful information about this. I have some questions about using a healthcare power of attorney document for my child. If my child signs this and appoints me, her mom, as her representative, can I call any medical facility where she has been treated, whether it was an emergency or otherwise, and ask for her medical records, or is the document only "active" if DD is not able to make decisions on her own, like she is in a coma?

Also, if there is an emergency situation, how does this work in practice if I am across the country and she is unconscious? How would the hospital even know to call me in the first place? And if they do figure out to call me, would I email/text them a copy of the power of attorney document and that gives them permission to explain to me what is going on medically?

Thanks for helping me to understand this all.

DS was required to fill out emergency contacts for his college. I think there are also contacts associated with his driver's record (though I guess I could double check that). My assumption is that, in an emergency, the hospital will be able to track down me or DH using either one of those IDs (college or driver's license). I do not know what authority the hospital has just from knowing we are emergency contacts and parents. In any event, once they get in touch I could provide them with our HIPAA info release authorization and our Health Care Power of attorney. Our HIPAA reads like it gives us blanket authority to request info at any time. However, I can imagine certain providers, like psychologists, would definitely think through whether or not they should contact my child first about the request.

Our Healthcare POA becomes effective only the doctors determine he lacks capacity to effectively make or communicate decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the posts that are commenting how unlikely it is to need such forms are focused on the more acute emergencies.

Here is a different take. My 18 year old college freshman was diagnosed during his first semester with a condition that is chronic and that affected his daily life due to the symptoms, risks and medications involved. There was no sign of this happening prior. It was sudden and while not life threatening, needed immediate attention. He attens college over 1,500 miles away and as a STEM major was incredibly busy with classes and deadlines.

Having a Medical POA already in hand allowed us to assist him with follow-up about lab testing, setting up prescription services and advocating for help when he developed a serious side effect from the medications. Could he do all of that on his own while miles away, not sure of where the best medical professionals are and not feeling well all while working his ass off to not fail a class? Sure. But during a difficult time in our son's life we are thankful we had the foresight to set up the paperwork to step in and help him long distance when he needed (and asked for) it.

+1 Do you file the paperwork at home? Give your kid a copy? Both? file it with the kid's school records??

[Anonymous]

I work at a DC estate planning firm and we always see clients bring in their rising college freshman for Medical POA documents. There is a parade of these signings each summer. I have young kids but am always impressed with how smart these parents are to get this done and hope to do the same someday.

But don't get me started on how these kids can barely sign their names in cursive!