Ultra high net worth and how much to leave to kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving them money to try to control them probably won’t work and neither will not leaving them money to try to control them.

Just do what you want with the money and your kids will turn out how they turn out tbh.

The bigger question you need to deal with is how much if any money you will give them while you’re alive and sitting there with all this money.

That’s so obviously more important than what happens when you die that I think you’re a troll.

Most with that wealth start giving when alive simply to minimize taxes. Might as well start saving in 529 for future grandkids once the kids are married/planning to have grands. Just keep the kid's 529 open and invest yearly even before the grands arrive.

NP - not high net worth but on board with this sentiment. My parents became very well off post-retirement and I'd be happy if they would pass their wealth on to my kids, since I'm old enough to be comfortable and don't really need a windfall now. It's too early for you, OP, but I would say the real goal should be setting your kids up to be debt-free in their 20s and their kids to be well looked after.

DP. The issue we struggle with is if you gives kids too much money when they're young (20s), you can have a failure to launch. I had a friend like that. Trust funder, and every year he came up with some new wacky idea for a business that of course failed because you don't hustle when you don't need to. I just Googled him -- looks like his latest venture is some organic healing patch or some nonsense.

The best we came up with on advice from our financial planner is their college + expenses are fully paid for, then they get lump sums every 5-10 years, but I'm still not happy with that. Will they become lazy if they know the next tranche is 3 years away so why work towards anything in the meantime? Our kids are young enough where I can't really predict personality-wise how it will shake out.

I know lots of people with family money and trust funds and plenty of them launched. Some didn't. About the same averages of the general population.

+1. This idea that there are tons of rich people with kids who "don't launch" because of too much wealth is overblown. Not launching has nothing to do with family wealth.

[Anonymous]

Start making some significant donations now. Really, you can make a difference and see what happens to the money. I’d consider some significant medical research and also something that would just delight me.

Donors to universities want their names on big things. I’d create a speaker series. I’d also love to fully remodel/refurbish a favorite dorm.

Let the kids see you doing big things. That will somewhat reduce the size of your estate.

[Anonymous]

I think you're asking the wrong question. You should be asking how you can decrease your wealth. Basically you are saying that YOU want to live a filthy rich life, but you don't want your children to. If you really "don't believe" in generational wealth, I'd start decreasing your wealth now. The best way to show your children how to live is to show them that you believe in the power of money to change the lives of others, and start making that happen.

[Anonymous]

If your kids are living a wealthy lifestyle now (great vacations, fancy clothes, cars, etc) it will be very hard for them to live a different life (without feeling deprived).

So, you should prepare them for a modest life if that is what you want them to get. Otherwise, it is not kind.

[Anonymous]

I wish my family had the $ to help us. Have a child with a de novo genetic disorder - happens more often than you’d think. If she outlives us, her care will take millions. US government is NOT something you want to rely on in this situation. Make sure you save enough in case you have grandkids in this situation. Or give $ to create homes for developmentally disabled adults.

[Anonymous]

Every generation should aim to raise/provide for the next generation such that the next one is more successful and lives a more comfortable life. Leave most of your money to your kids. You don't want to be that a-hole, selfish parent/grandparent that shafted their family by gaving away all their money just so they can feel good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I are extremely fortunate and currently have a net worth in the upper 30s, all self made, although our parents provided some help for college such that we were able to borrow just the federal student loan max for our state schools. We are in our mid 40s.

We have 3 kids currently in middle school. We do not believe in generational wealth. I’m inclined to provide them whatever they need to finish school (wherever they want to go and for as high a degree as they want, inclusive of room board and incidentals). DH would like to leave them something more but not the majority of our wealth. We have another $12M in life insurance so if we died tomorrow each would inherit roughly $17M.

If we died before they graduate college we would keep everything the same until they graduate and then they would receive their inheritance.

The question is how much to leave them each after education expenses and living costs through college in todays dollars?

Our current thoughts are one or some combination of the below:

1) $1M each
2) a family trust for education so that future generations don’t have to worry about college costs (this would obviously benefit our kids).
3) the max that we can leave not subject to estate taxes without playing gifting of partial interest games. We recognize that this figure can change. We are sorta indifferent if the number stays the same or reverts as current scheduled.

Everything above what we leave them we will donate.

Thoughts?

Donate it to underpaid people doing good work, and charities for the disabled. If everyone does this, everyone's kids will be fine.

Anything else risks creating more entitled brat adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving them money to try to control them probably won’t work and neither will not leaving them money to try to control them.

Just do what you want with the money and your kids will turn out how they turn out tbh.

The bigger question you need to deal with is how much if any money you will give them while you’re alive and sitting there with all this money.

That’s so obviously more important than what happens when you die that I think you’re a troll.

Most with that wealth start giving when alive simply to minimize taxes. Might as well start saving in 529 for future grandkids once the kids are married/planning to have grands. Just keep the kid's 529 open and invest yearly even before the grands arrive.

NP - not high net worth but on board with this sentiment. My parents became very well off post-retirement and I'd be happy if they would pass their wealth on to my kids, since I'm old enough to be comfortable and don't really need a windfall now. It's too early for you, OP, but I would say the real goal should be setting your kids up to be debt-free in their 20s and their kids to be well looked after.

DP. The issue we struggle with is if you gives kids too much money when they're young (20s), you can have a failure to launch. I had a friend like that. Trust funder, and every year he came up with some new wacky idea for a business that of course failed because you don't hustle when you don't need to. I just Googled him -- looks like his latest venture is some organic healing patch or some nonsense.

The best we came up with on advice from our financial planner is their college + expenses are fully paid for, then they get lump sums every 5-10 years, but I'm still not happy with that. Will they become lazy if they know the next tranche is 3 years away so why work towards anything in the meantime? Our kids are young enough where I can't really predict personality-wise how it will shake out.

I know lots of people with family money and trust funds and plenty of them launched. Some didn't. About the same averages of the general population.

+1. This idea that there are tons of rich people with kids who "don't launch" because of too much wealth is overblown. Not launching has nothing to do with family wealth.

+1.

I think many rich people are rich because they have eccentric personalities and then took bigger risk than the average person would.

These personalities can result in utter dysfunction if the perfect opportunity does not present itself. So their children might be disasters. The money did not cause this. The kids would have been disasters even if they were poor. They inherited " crazy" genes from their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leaving them money to try to control them probably won’t work and neither will not leaving them money to try to control them.

Just do what you want with the money and your kids will turn out how they turn out tbh.

The bigger question you need to deal with is how much if any money you will give them while you’re alive and sitting there with all this money.

That’s so obviously more important than what happens when you die that I think you’re a troll.

Most with that wealth start giving when alive simply to minimize taxes. Might as well start saving in 529 for future grandkids once the kids are married/planning to have grands. Just keep the kid's 529 open and invest yearly even before the grands arrive.

NP - not high net worth but on board with this sentiment. My parents became very well off post-retirement and I'd be happy if they would pass their wealth on to my kids, since I'm old enough to be comfortable and don't really need a windfall now. It's too early for you, OP, but I would say the real goal should be setting your kids up to be debt-free in their 20s and their kids to be well looked after.

DP. The issue we struggle with is if you gives kids too much money when they're young (20s), you can have a failure to launch. I had a friend like that. Trust funder, and every year he came up with some new wacky idea for a business that of course failed because you don't hustle when you don't need to. I just Googled him -- looks like his latest venture is some organic healing patch or some nonsense.

The best we came up with on advice from our financial planner is their college + expenses are fully paid for, then they get lump sums every 5-10 years, but I'm still not happy with that. Will they become lazy if they know the next tranche is 3 years away so why work towards anything in the meantime? Our kids are young enough where I can't really predict personality-wise how it will shake out.

I know lots of people with family money and trust funds and plenty of them launched. Some didn't. About the same averages of the general population.

+1. This idea that there are tons of rich people with kids who "don't launch" because of too much wealth is overblown. Not launching has nothing to do with family wealth.

That’s not the point. The expectation is that every single rich kid should “launch” because they have all the money they need. But there are relatively many that fail and it’s often because they are raised like entitled idiots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At minimum: pay for college & graduate school, wedding & a starter home in full.

This.

Remainder to go into education trust into perpetuity for any descendants’ education/further education, plus $1m “gift” to all children/grandchildren/great-grandchildren on their 21st bday (until it runs out).

We have similar NW (mid 40s) and this is how we set it up.

Hope you have a good team. Our accountant and lawyers and bankers are in valuable for this kind of stuff. We use Morgan Stanley private wealth and have a fantastic lawyer & accountant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Start making some significant donations now. Really, you can make a difference and see what happens to the money. I’d consider some significant medical research and also something that would just delight me.

Donors to universities want their names on big things. I’d create a speaker series. I’d also love to fully remodel/refurbish a favorite dorm.

Let the kids see you doing big things. That will somewhat reduce the size of your estate.

Go away, development drone

[Anonymous]

I think your plan sounds good. I'd adjust the amount you leave them to inflation.

PS also if the trust can give interest free loans for things like mortgages that's a great idea. Why make banks richer.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like the scene in succession where Greg states that his grandfather is guaranteed to at least leave him $5 million in his will and Connor explains to him why that sucks.

[Anonymous]

I personally would adjust the $1 mil to something like $5 mil, to cover a reasonable retirement for each child.

[Anonymous]

Leave it to your kids. Unless you die prematurely they'll be in their 40s-60s when they get it. It's a nice amount of money for them to be comfortable off the interest but it's not like they'll be buying yachts and houses in Aspen etc.