comebacks for mean MS kids?

[Anonymous]

It is absolutely not effective to ignore bullying. I tried it. The bullies just came at me harder.

What worked was me saying, "Well, aren't you the special one, honey baby, honey child." It wasn't clever or cutting, but somehow the bullies backed off and I earned some respect.

If I could have beat them up, I would have. This was in grade 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh ok, whatever (then walk away).

This! We had an elementry school assembly about bullying and the expert told us to teach our kids the "whatever" comeback and walk away. She said it just shuts things down.

[Anonymous]

"someone forget their meds again?"

[Anonymous]

My kid is small and was bullied by some (tall, big) boys last year in 6th. Here's what worked for us (after her trying to ignore for basically many months).

- 2 days before school starting this year, I wrote an email to the principal, assistant principal, guidance counselors (2), and all 7 teachers, describing the history and basically putting them on notice that I'd fill out a bullying form the next time these kids tried anything. I asked them to never have them sit next to each other or be forced into groups together. This tip was given to me by a seasoned MCPS teacher-mom who had been in our shoes and knew what worked.

- memorizing a bunch of put downs (like 10) that she'd just retort anytime the boys tried to speak/mock her. "exactly why do you keep talking with me? Are you obsessed with me or something?" Eventually they backed down because they knew she would not take it. The "famous" put down was when she said " your butt must be jealous of your mouth because of all the dog poop coming out" (this was repeated to me by her friends the next day, in utter glee, lol, because apparently the whole class even the teacher started laughing). Apparently the boy (who they all hate) was just stunned.

- honestly? Getting better at sports. My kid can do more push ups than most of the boys in her class, and she can climb a rope faster/higher. Getting physically stronger will build your kid's confidence..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Oh you are a bully. Kids who bully others are often abused at home by their parents. I feel sorry for you."

"Maybe, I need to tell my mom about your bullying and she can talk to your mom? Will you get into trouble and stop being mean/nasty/homophobic/racist/InCel?'

"Maybe, I need to tell my mom about your bullying and she can talk to your mom? Will you get into trouble and stop being mean/nasty/homophobic/racist/InCel?'

Oh my god, NO. Those are absolutely horrible. That will only make the situation worse.

Look, if you want your kid to fire back, he needs to come in guns BLAZING. He's going to have to be super mean to these other kids. So find what the other kids are insecure about, and you'll need to give him permission to use bad words

For example, if a kid is overzealous in a recess playground game"

"What the f&*k Dylan?!?! Look, I know you're upset because your dad left because he was disappointed in you as his son, but calm down. You look like a try-hard"

Or, if a kid is being a jerk in gym class:

"Look, bro, I know this class is your only shot at not getting a D on your report, but not all us are ret*rded like you are and don't need the A in gym that bad"

Or, if one of the kids calling him weak is stocky, or if his parents are fat:

"Sure, I'm weak. You got a body built by dunkin donuts. Enjoy your heart attack at 40. Also, you may want to spend more time with your Dad. Looks like he only has a few years left."

Basically, if your kid is going to do this, then he needs to really commit and DO IT. Be prepared for a call from the principal. But at least your kid will have stood up for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Does criticizing me make you feel good about yourself?”

“If you feel better by poking fun at others, go ahead. It’s says a lot more about your flaws than mine”

God, these are all so terrible....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is small and was bullied by some (tall, big) boys last year in 6th. Here's what worked for us (after her trying to ignore for basically many months).

- 2 days before school starting this year, I wrote an email to the principal, assistant principal, guidance counselors (2), and all 7 teachers, describing the history and basically putting them on notice that I'd fill out a bullying form the next time these kids tried anything. I asked them to never have them sit next to each other or be forced into groups together. This tip was given to me by a seasoned MCPS teacher-mom who had been in our shoes and knew what worked.

- memorizing a bunch of put downs (like 10) that she'd just retort anytime the boys tried to speak/mock her. "exactly why do you keep talking with me? Are you obsessed with me or something?" Eventually they backed down because they knew she would not take it. The "famous" put down was when she said " your butt must be jealous of your mouth because of all the dog poop coming out" (this was repeated to me by her friends the next day, in utter glee, lol, because apparently the whole class even the teacher started laughing). Apparently the boy (who they all hate) was just stunned.

- honestly? Getting better at sports. My kid can do more push ups than most of the boys in her class, and she can climb a rope faster/higher. Getting physically stronger will build your kid's confidence..

It's true.

Not sure what OP's kid is into athletically but they should find something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is absolutely not effective to ignore bullying. I tried it. The bullies just came at me harder.

What worked was me saying, "Well, aren't you the special one, honey baby, honey child." It wasn't clever or cutting, but somehow the bullies backed off and I earned some respect.

If I could have beat them up, I would have. This was in grade 5.

Good point. You have to say or do SOMETHING. Ignoring just prompts them to bully harder. Even if your comeback is a dud, you have to at least do/say something!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh you are a bully. Kids who bully others are often abused at home by their parents. I feel sorry for you."

"Maybe, I need to tell my mom about your bullying and she can talk to your mom? Will you get into trouble and stop being mean/nasty/homophobic/racist/InCel?'

Oh my god, NO. Those are absolutely horrible. That will only make the situation worse.

Look, if you want your kid to fire back, he needs to come in guns BLAZING. He's going to have to be super mean to these other kids. So find what the other kids are insecure about, and you'll need to give him permission to use bad words

For example, if a kid is overzealous in a recess playground game"

"What the f&*k Dylan?!?! Look, I know you're upset because your dad left because he was disappointed in you as his son, but calm down. You look like a try-hard"

Or, if a kid is being a jerk in gym class:

"Look, bro, I know this class is your only shot at not getting a D on your report, but not all us are ret*rded like you are and don't need the A in gym that bad"

Or, if one of the kids calling him weak is stocky, or if his parents are fat:

"Sure, I'm weak. You got a body built by dunkin donuts. Enjoy your heart attack at 40. Also, you may want to spend more time with your Dad. Looks like he only has a few years left."

Basically, if your kid is going to do this, then he needs to really commit and DO IT. Be prepared for a call from the principal. But at least your kid will have stood up for himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh you are a bully. Kids who bully others are often abused at home by their parents. I feel sorry for you."

"Maybe, I need to tell my mom about your bullying and she can talk to your mom? Will you get into trouble and stop being mean/nasty/homophobic/racist/InCel?'

Oh my god, NO. Those are absolutely horrible. That will only make the situation worse.

Look, if you want your kid to fire back, he needs to come in guns BLAZING. He's going to have to be super mean to these other kids. So find what the other kids are insecure about, and you'll need to give him permission to use bad words

For example, if a kid is overzealous in a recess playground game"

"What the f&*k Dylan?!?! Look, I know you're upset because your dad left because he was disappointed in you as his son, but calm down. You look like a try-hard"

Or, if a kid is being a jerk in gym class:

"Look, bro, I know this class is your only shot at not getting a D on your report, but not all us are ret*rded like you are and don't need the A in gym that bad"

Or, if one of the kids calling him weak is stocky, or if his parents are fat:

"Sure, I'm weak. You got a body built by dunkin donuts. Enjoy your heart attack at 40. Also, you may want to spend more time with your Dad. Looks like he only has a few years left."

Basically, if your kid is going to do this, then he needs to really commit and DO IT. Be prepared for a call from the principal. But at least your kid will have stood up for himself.

Unfortunately, this is accurate. My DD has had to say some really mean crap to get bullies to leave her alone. I am prepared for the call from school if it should come. But the adults don't do anything to stop the bullying, so as far as I am concerned, they don't get to complain about how my child defends herself. But this is why kids in MS and HS are so awful. They learn in elementary school that the adults won't protect them and won't punish the bullies, so it becomes survival of the fittest/meanest and they don't respect adults because they have learned that adults won't help them.

[Anonymous]

DD experienced some teasing/bullying from a girl who got increasingly angry that DD didn't seem to care. Finally, the other girl said, "this bothers you, doesn't it?", to which DD said, "well, DUH!!!"

Somehow that stopped the verbal assaults. The other girl just wasn't having a satisfactory experience.

[Anonymous]

I think “not caring” is usually the best solution. The goal would be to to respond with side eye and uh ok and, ideally, the implication that the other person is doing too much and being extra.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that your child is dealing with this. Please report this by emailing the counselor of the school and asking for suggestions on how to deal with this because in case your child snaps and says/does something mean back, and it's recorded by the jerks - at least there is your email. Please help your child improve their athletic ability - it is amazing how training - just running everyday and doing proper strength training exercises can give results, plus the health benefits both physically and mentally are amazing. I was a scrawny kid and when I started working out, the results were impressive. In one summer, he can transform and be faster and stronger. My child had brain damage and through hard work, he is much, much better. He still gets bullied because he is mentally slow and somewhat clumsy, but he believes in himself and just works that much harder. He is never mean back because that is not who he is. When you take something negative and it spurs something positive, you are teaching your kid a truly valuable lesson. You can't change these mean kids, but you can help your child overcome this. Good luck to your child and you, OP!

[Anonymous]

Look around and say “Anyone else hear that annoying, idiotic sound?” And walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry that your child is dealing with this. Please report this by emailing the counselor of the school and asking for suggestions on how to deal with this because in case your child snaps and says/does something mean back, and it's recorded by the jerks - at least there is your email. Please help your child improve their athletic ability - it is amazing how training - just running everyday and doing proper strength training exercises can give results, plus the health benefits both physically and mentally are amazing. I was a scrawny kid and when I started working out, the results were impressive. In one summer, he can transform and be faster and stronger. My child had brain damage and through hard work, he is much, much better. He still gets bullied because he is mentally slow and somewhat clumsy, but he believes in himself and just works that much harder. He is never mean back because that is not who he is. When you take something negative and it spurs something positive, you are teaching your kid a truly valuable lesson. You can't change these mean kids, but you can help your child overcome this. Good luck to your child and you, OP!

Yes, most schools even have a bullying form that you'll need to complete (but be sure to ask; they don't always volunteer that information since its more paperwork for them).

But I would still advise my kid to have a smart-ass comment in the tank. To be honest, the advise to ignore, or roll eyes, or say 'whatever', really makes the kid look like a wimp. I'm not suggesting to get physical. But have them use their brain to come up with something to say that is specific to that kid.

I don't feel bad about helping my kid make another kid feel bad. They never do it first. But when someone else comes at then, its ok to answer back