How much money did you lose each year by working during the preschool years?

[Anonymous]

None, my income (the lower one) has always exceeded the cost of childcare. And now it is as high as my spouse's, and sometimes higher (variable bonus structure). Even if it didn't, I view it as an upfront investment in a continued career. The math is not as simplistic as "mom salary < daycare so I guess I'll have to stay home" unless you are a wage worker subsisting on shift work.

[Anonymous]

Daycare and school lead to many sick days. That coupled with two kids means years 0-4 you need a nanny or sahp at least part time.

Honestly 4 years of your life is no big deal. People spend that much time in grad school. If you can do part time and or consulting work to keep yourself in the game it’s ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare and school lead to many sick days. That coupled with two kids means years 0-4 you need a nanny or sahp at least part time.

Honestly 4 years of your life is no big deal. People spend that much time in grad school. If you can do part time and or consulting work to keep yourself in the game it’s ideal.

I took a whole year out of the workforce but this is a bit overblown. You may get lucky and have a kid whose immune system adjusts quickly to daycare germs. For my DD it was like 3 months that were bad. Not worth giving up F/T salary, benefits, 401k match just for 3 months of sickness.

[Anonymous]

I really hate the phrasing of this question. Why not say "how much did you spend on childcare"? Am I "losing money each year" by paying a mortgage? These are household expenses.

[Anonymous]

Daycare and school lead to many sick days. That coupled with two kids means years 0-4 you need a nanny or sahp at least part time.

Honestly 4 years of your life is no big deal. People spend that much time in grad school. If you can do part time and or consulting work to keep yourself in the game it’s ideal.

True, but many careers do not allow for this, especially early on in your 20's and 30's (childbearing years). Mine certainly didn't. It was either full time or zero. Maybe that has changed now. And 4 years of your life is a big deal when you get to be 60 and you want to retire. It's a huge deal (your body lets you know).

[Anonymous]

None. We made $400K combined and at her highest, our nanny made $45K. Half of her salary was attributable to my H's decision to keep working.

[Anonymous]

The benefit of having your kid in your 30s is that you don't have to worry about this. I was making well over $100K when I had my kids, definitely didn't lose any money while paying for daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare and school lead to many sick days. That coupled with two kids means years 0-4 you need a nanny or sahp at least part time.

Honestly 4 years of your life is no big deal. People spend that much time in grad school. If you can do part time and or consulting work to keep yourself in the game it’s ideal.

This wasn't an issue for us. DH and I worked full time out of the home when our kids were little but we both had plenty of annual leave and flexibility in our roles so that taking time off wasn't a big deal when the kids were little. Life is obviously much easier post-Covid with hybrid work and elementary-aged kids who are still fairly self sufficient if they're home sick.

[Anonymous]

None, because I earned more than the cost of daycare and so did my lower paid DH. Daycare cost much less than private school and summer camps in later years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never believed that any part of my job or benefits or resume is more important than the time I spent with my infant and toddler children.

No one thinks their job or benefits is more valuable than their kids. People do however make strategic choices about their jobs in order to care well for their children over the long term.

Of course, and it is often a tough decision with many factors to consider. It's not the kids that are more valuable however, it's that time with them that there was not enough pay or benefits for me to choose over spending that time with them.

You couldn't just agree, could you? You had to double down on your Santi-mommy BS. Good for you, you think you're a better mommy than the rest of us. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The benefit of having your kid in your 30s is that you don't have to worry about this. I was making well over $100K when I had my kids, definitely didn't lose any money while paying for daycare.

As long as you don’t have to do IVF at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I purchased a small business as a widowed parent and sent my daughter to a high quality Montessori preschool. Between the payments to the business and daycare fees it actually COST me money to go to work each day. But when she was in full day kindergarten and the business was paid off, I started to make some decent gains. The business was structured that I was ultimately able to volunteer in classrooms, take kids to afterschool activities, and have a good work/life balance.

Had I not taken this risk, my family would have less financial security today. The successful business I built up has afforded us a very pleasant lifestyle. I'm close to sending my last child to college. I'm glad I looked at the big picture.

Kudos to you, PP, sounds like you made wise choices and investments. I'm sorry for your loss many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The benefit of having your kid in your 30s is that you don't have to worry about this. I was making well over $100K when I had my kids, definitely didn't lose any money while paying for daycare.

As long as you don’t have to do IVF at that age.

Most people don't have to do IVF to have children in their 30s. Almost all of my close friends had their children in their 30s. Two of them did IVF - and that's because they used donor sperm. I had my own children within two months of starting to try at 36 and 38. I'm sorry that doesn't fit your narrative about "old moms", but it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I purchased a small business as a widowed parent and sent my daughter to a high quality Montessori preschool. Between the payments to the business and daycare fees it actually COST me money to go to work each day. But when she was in full day kindergarten and the business was paid off, I started to make some decent gains. The business was structured that I was ultimately able to volunteer in classrooms, take kids to afterschool activities, and have a good work/life balance.

Had I not taken this risk, my family would have less financial security today. The successful business I built up has afforded us a very pleasant lifestyle. I'm close to sending my last child to college. I'm glad I looked at the big picture.

Kudos to you, PP, sounds like you made wise choices and investments. I'm sorry for your loss many years ago.

PP you responded to. Thank you for your kind words. I'm so happy for my small company and for what I've built. And very grateful to the long ago seller who took a chance with me (bypassing a cash offer) to allow me payments over time. It was a huge blessing in a very challenging period of my life. I support all parents who struggle with work and childcare expenses. It's a balancing act for all of us.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t lose a thing. My husband looked after our kids when they were babies.