Double barrel last name

[Anonymous]

I will share OP that we did this with our first son and I ended up changing my son's name. Sounds ridiculous and any close friends will know this is me because, who does this? But I really didn't like it the first couple years and decided to drop my last name from his name before our second because I felt that strongly. For me, once my child was born I actually felt much more connected to my husband's family (he was so clearly a little version of his paternal grandfather!) and it just didn't feel as important to me to have the multiple names and more of a big nuisance for him his whole life. I had many good reasons why I believed in it prior to his birth and generally I think kids are fine! Whatever you do will be fine, it doesn't matter THAT much. But I was surprised how much I didn't like it haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will share OP that we did this with our first son and I ended up changing my son's name. Sounds ridiculous and any close friends will know this is me because, who does this? But I really didn't like it the first couple years and decided to drop my last name from his name before our second because I felt that strongly. For me, once my child was born I actually felt much more connected to my husband's family (he was so clearly a little version of his paternal grandfather!) and it just didn't feel as important to me to have the multiple names and more of a big nuisance for him his whole life. I had many good reasons why I believed in it prior to his birth and generally I think kids are fine! Whatever you do will be fine, it doesn't matter THAT much. But I was surprised how much I didn't like it haha.

I did this 20+ years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nearly every friend and family member who has two last names hates it and finds it an inconvenience in a country where one is the norm. It would be fine if you planned to live in Latin America where two is the norm. But even Latin American couples who settle in the US and have kids here usually opt not to burden their kids with two last names. It's just so inconvenient.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m seriously considering giving my baby both my and my DH’s last name. The whole thing would be easier if we had simple and short last names but both are uniques and mine is very long!

Aside from the practical issues (like fitting both names on forms), I can’t imagine this would be an issue. Experiences???

Having to put a long name on every standardized test - I was so relieved to change my long last name to a short married. Anyone that has to do an evaluation on them and only list one name. Finding them in a learning database at future place of business. I hate employees with two last names - god it’s a nightmare to align their files and records.

[Anonymous]

I can see how it's such a headache logistically BUT I think it's soooo cool. Always wish I had one. Very old money British.

[Anonymous]

I have a doubles- barreled last name. I love it, and that I have the names of both of my parents.

I didn’t change my name when I got married, so DH and I have different last names, and our kids have a double-barreled last name (combining DH’s and one of mine). I’m happy to see that my kids’ last name reflects both of their parents.

It is not a hassle to have a longer last name except in a handful of life events where you have to write your name and sign over and over - I think buying a house, at closing I had to write my name and initials over and over. Otherwise you are typing stuff and auto fill helps. Things have changed from when I was a kid and my last name didn’t fit well on forms - this isn’t really a thing anymore.

I do think that people are weird in general about “different” last names - no one thinks it’s a curse to give their child a common last name like “Richardson” which is 11 letters long, but god forbid you name them “Jones-Day” (yes I know that’s a law firm).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids have a hyphenated last name. It is a total of 9 letters so not too long. It has never once been an issue on planes, school, doctors office and whatever other parade of horribles people like to trot out. Many of their friends also have hyphenated last names and it’s not a big deal at all.

I was reminded that this was the right thing to do when I driving DS and his teen friend around and the friend was saying, yeah my mom’s last name is X, she doesn’t have the same name as the rest of us.

So a casual observation by a child made you think you were right. Got it. Good logic and reasoning skills you have.

Lol

[Anonymous]

I would choose your name as the last name and his as a middle name, but since yours is very long then I’d probably go the other way. No double barrel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a doubles- barreled last name. I love it, and that I have the names of both of my parents.

I didn’t change my name when I got married, so DH and I have different last names, and our kids have a double-barreled last name (combining DH’s and one of mine). I’m happy to see that my kids’ last name reflects both of their parents.

It is not a hassle to have a longer last name except in a handful of life events where you have to write your name and sign over and over - I think buying a house, at closing I had to write my name and initials over and over. Otherwise you are typing stuff and auto fill helps. Things have changed from when I was a kid and my last name didn’t fit well on forms - this isn’t really a thing anymore.

I do think that people are weird in general about “different” last names - no one thinks it’s a curse to give their child a common last name like “Richardson” which is 11 letters long, but god forbid you name them “Jones-Day” (yes I know that’s a law firm).

I glad you have never had many problems with your names. But other people with two last names have had trouble verifying their identity because their gov't issued ID has their surname listed as "Jones-Day" but the company they have an account with has them listed under "Day" and another company has them under "Jones," and the human errors accumulate and the number of hours in your life you spend on hold reaches the triple digits. You can't predict how much of a hassle it will become when they are adults, but the probability of it being a big hassle when they grow up is >0.