Grandma insists on bed sharing…

[Anonymous]

I am from a culture that bed shares and I think this is weird, OP.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleeping with my grandmother. We would chat, say prayers, and then she would listen to talk radio on her little transistor radio. It was all fascinating!

It is a problem, however, letting your kids think it's ok to share a bed with an adult relative for no particularly good reason. That can go very badly for some although not typically with grandma. Perhaps it is not worth the risk but that would also include not sharing a bed with their own parents.

[Anonymous]

TELL HER NO. Do not send your kids there.

[Anonymous]

My kids, one boy and girl, co-slept with Grandma. My son stopped at age 9. My daughter still co-sleeps with Grandma and/or her Aunt when they visit or we travel with them. She is almost 9 but I think it will go on a few more years. We did have to have boundaries about when the co-sleeping could occur. They wanted to do it on school nights and that got way too disruptive so I said only weekends. They weren’t happy about it but they have accepted it. As someone else mentioned, it is not my kids responsibility to fulfill their emotional needs. If the kids are ever uncomfortable with it, it ends. My daughter loves it though so I’m okay with it on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleeping with my grandmother. We would chat, say prayers, and then she would listen to talk radio on her little transistor radio. It was all fascinating!

It is a problem, however, letting your kids think it's ok to share a bed with an adult relative for no particularly good reason. That can go very badly for some although not typically with grandma. Perhaps it is not worth the risk but that would also include not sharing a bed with their own parents.

Zombie thread alert!

[Anonymous]

Its strange indeed.

[Anonymous]

My kids love to cosleep with my mom (their maternal grandma) when we go visit. She has a king size bed so there’s plenty of room. She will sleep in the middle and they get to stay up past bedtime as a treat. Normally watching a movie or reading books and maybe having a treat in bed like a bowl of ice cream. It’s fun and special.

But my kids are the snuggly type and they want to do this. My mom is the super maternal, bake cookies together, so it fits the type of relationship they have with her. I would never have slept on the same bed as my grandmother’s but they were more the racist old bird, hyper-critical type of grandmas.

My kids are early/mid elementary so we’ll see how much longer this lasts …

[Anonymous]

Zombie thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I slept with my grandmother when I was little. It was fun because she had so many night time rituals. I remember she would make me a cup of warm chocolate milk, insist that I brushed my teeth with a toothpaste that tasted like cloves or fennel, make sure that I washed my feet, hands and face at night and rubbed some kind of rose smelling cream on my hands and feet I slept. It felt luxurious and very grown up. She had a lovely room. Very feminine. She would brush and braid her hair. Use satin pillow cases. Had body pillows when body pillows was not even a thing. Had . one large pillow that was triangular that you could prop yourself against. Also had sofas and recliner in her bedroom. Lots of talcum powder. I slept until I was maybe a teen. She passed away a few years after I got married. I loved her. She smelled like the most wonderful blend of spices. How? She was soft and delicate and smelled amazing. Very fastidious.

What a lovely memory. I have a similar memory of my grandma when I was a child!!! Ironically, my mom (her daughter) is the polar opposite at almost 80, she likes to sleep in the buff and fades off to sleep watching raunchy comedies and puffing on a joint so NEEDLESS TO SAY my children will NOT have the same experience I did. Thanks for sharing your sweet memory with us!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:I loved sleeping with my grandmother. We would chat, say prayers, and then she would listen to talk radio on her little transistor radio. It was all fascinating!

It is a problem, however, letting your kids think it's ok to share a bed with an adult relative for no particularly good reason. That can go very badly for some although not typically with grandma. Perhaps it is not worth the risk but that would also include not sharing a bed with their own parents.

Zombie thread alert!

What is zombie thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s just weird Op, unless you live in some multi generation hut where all 10 people get out mats and sleep on the communal floor every night.

I wouldn’t want my kids after age 4 thinking sharing a bed an adult is normal or kosher at all. I feel the same about kids sitting on adult men’s laps or greeting their legs stroked by grandpa after a swim. Bad precedent for a manipulative coach, teacher or less savory adult who attempts it with ill intent.

It’s not weird, lots of people do it. I often spent the night at both of my grandmothers and shared the bed. Maybe you don’t want to do it or the kid does and that is fine but lots of people are fine doing it.

+1

Most kids are able to differentiate sharing a bed with grandma vs sharing a bed with a sports coach. The same way my kids understand it’s normal to take your clothes off at the doctor’s office, but not at the library.

It should never be pushed on a child, but I’m not going to tell my kids they can’t sleep next to my mom just because a scout leader somewhere out there touched a kid. We don’t have to let the pedos ruin nice things for kids like grandma snuggles.*

*Obviously if you grew up in a home with abuse you’re not going to let your kid sleep with that relative. But the odds of someone you know well suddenly becoming a molester at age 78 are quite low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We’re all American. Kids go along with it because she acts like it’s a really special treat and something to be excited about. Which then feels weirder to me, but I am open to hearing experiences of people who coslept when visiting grandparents. Perhaps it’s a sweet bonding experience or something.

No I would not allow it, but I was abused by a grandparent (who everyone loved btw).

My spouse visited grandparents and a great aunt with his siblings and they all brought sleeping bags and slept on the floor.