Grandma insists on bed sharing…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s just weird Op, unless you live in some multi generation hut where all 10 people get out mats and sleep on the communal floor every night.

I wouldn’t want my kids after age 4 thinking sharing a bed an adult is normal or kosher at all. I feel the same about kids sitting on adult men’s laps or greeting their legs stroked by grandpa after a swim. Bad precedent for a manipulative coach, teacher or less savory adult who attempts it with ill intent.

It’s not weird, lots of people do it. I often spent the night at both of my grandmothers and shared the bed. Maybe you don’t want to do it or the kid does and that is fine but lots of people are fine doing it.

[Anonymous]

Seems a little weird. Unusual.

[Anonymous]

When my boys would visit my ILs, they would sleep with MIL in her bed and kick my FIL to the couch, even though they have their own bedroom at her house. Her bed was just more comfortable I guess. And my younger one has always preferred to sleep with DH and I whenever we will let him. He just likes feeling snuggled in a big bed, I guess.

But she never insisted on it. Just went with whatever the kids wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my boys would visit my ILs, they would sleep with MIL in her bed and kick my FIL to the couch, even though they have their own bedroom at her house. Her bed was just more comfortable I guess. And my younger one has always preferred to sleep with DH and I whenever we will let him. He just likes feeling snuggled in a big bed, I guess.

But she never insisted on it. Just went with whatever the kids wanted.

Yes, MIL does this too. But she has done it since they were little. Now, DD still loves it. Older DS does not and so he doesn’t do it. You should follow your kids’ lead. If they want to, I wouldn’t try to convince them because you think it’s weird. If Grandma also just started this and didn’t do it before, it’s weird. If the kids don’t want to anymore, then it doesn’t work anymore. I wouldn’t convince them to do it if they don’t want to.

My DD (and DS when he was younger) absolutely love it. We also let them sleep with us once every few months. They love that too.

[Anonymous]

At one time, it wasn't unusual for childhood siblings to bed-share. Maybe there's some nostalgia for the grandmother in that?

[Anonymous]

I would say no to this.

Why? Because an adult is asking a child to meet their emotional needs in a way that's inappropriate. A child can't consent to this, and a child may have a hard time saying they don't want to do it anymore. Especially if grandma has made it into this big huge special thing that do FOR HER and that makes HER happy.

Just draw the boundary. There can certainly be snuggles and physical affection, while watching tv or reading. But there is really no reason this HAS to happen. And Grandma wanting it to isn't a good enough reason for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my boys would visit my ILs, they would sleep with MIL in her bed and kick my FIL to the couch, even though they have their own bedroom at her house. Her bed was just more comfortable I guess. And my younger one has always preferred to sleep with DH and I whenever we will let him. He just likes feeling snuggled in a big bed, I guess.

But she never insisted on it. Just went with whatever the kids wanted.

Yes this feels like a better line. If the kids are interested in doing this, ok. But the insisting part gives me the ick.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird. I co slept with my own kids but I am not ok with others sleeping with my kids.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother and I did this but in separate beds in the same room. When she visited us, she shared my room with me. We giggled and laughed until my mother came in to tell us to go to sleep. I was SO amused to see my mom tell HER mom to go to sleep. A good memory.

[Anonymous]

My friend shares a bed with her granddaughter when granddaughter visited from the time granddaughter was 2 years old to about 8 years old. She's 9 now and sleeps in her own bed instead of with grandma and grandpa.

I don't think my friend allowed her kids in bed with her, but this was special, grandma rules.

[Anonymous]

I’d only do it until I could find a marshal to track down the bandit who murdered my father.

[Anonymous]

The people in here acting like this is some red flag or sign of abuse are just ludicrous.

I am a grandma with two extra bedrooms. My grandkids love climbing in bed with me. And guess what? They have to fight the dog for space!!

Lighten up people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say no to this.

Why? Because an adult is asking a child to meet their emotional needs in a way that's inappropriate. A child can't consent to this, and a child may have a hard time saying they don't want to do it anymore. Especially if grandma has made it into this big huge special thing that do FOR HER and that makes HER happy.

Just draw the boundary. There can certainly be snuggles and physical affection, while watching tv or reading. But there is really no reason this HAS to happen. And Grandma wanting it to isn't a good enough reason for me.

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin and I would stay with our grandmas (sisters) and have sleepovers with all four of us in the bed. I can’t believe they put up with it but we loved it.

That’s pretty cute!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people in here acting like this is some red flag or sign of abuse are just ludicrous.

I am a grandma with two extra bedrooms. My grandkids love climbing in bed with me. And guess what? They have to fight the dog for space!!

Lighten up people.

It’s grooming for the actual predator. For the child, you’ve normalized sleeping next to an adult in the same bed.