Experienced parents, what was the hardest age for traveling? When did it permanently improve?

[Anonymous]

“Permanently improve?” Trust me, teens can be sulky and obnoxious.

Just plan vacations that meet their developmental needs, abilities and interests; you should be fine.

[Anonymous]

2.5-4 years was the hardest. Then it improved. Teen years also fine but I have a boy.

[Anonymous]

One thing from your OP that grabs my attention: “We are very frequent travelers.” If you find yourself braving gif meltdowns a lot, I might gently suggest this is part of the reason why.

Kids crave consistency and familiarity. That doesn’t mean don’t travel— I love traveling with my kid. But we don’t travel so much that is disrupts our day to day significantly. During the school year, we are in town most weekends. In the summer we travel more but we try to spend the middle part (July 4th- August 4th or so) at home do that DD can go to camp and get in a rhythm.

We don’t do last minute plane travel anymore, like we did pre-kids. Maybe when she’s older. But that’s too much change too fast for her. I stead we’ll do a last minute beach trip with one overnight, within a few hours drive.

We also create travel routines. The plane is always similar in terms of how we get there and how we pack. Same with car trips. Our travel days have a certain rhythm. We don’t try to do too much. We keep expectations low.

I think if you are expecting to travel as you did pre-kids, you’ll never be through “the hard part.” Travel, like everything else in your life, is fundamentally different now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 was the hardest age. Kid thinks they know everything, won't help wtih anything, only wats to do what they want to do.

Kid is 15 now, and ven they will tell you they ruined the Hawaii vacation.

Teens can be threatened and bribed. Toddlers hands down. Teens you can also leave. Don’t want to go to Haleakala, fine stay here we’ll go without you.

Wowee that sounds like a healthy household!

You clearly haven't hit the teen years. I wouldn't throw shade this early in the game.

[Anonymous]

By 4.5 is got easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 was the hardest age. Kid thinks they know everything, won't help wtih anything, only wats to do what they want to do.

Kid is 15 now, and ven they will tell you they ruined the Hawaii vacation.

Teens can be threatened and bribed. Toddlers hands down. Teens you can also leave. Don’t want to go to Haleakala, fine stay here we’ll go without you.

Wowee that sounds like a healthy household!

Actually it is. It is respecting their choice and not allowing them to ruin the vacation for everyone. Why is it healthier to make them go somewhere they don’t want to go?

Teens don’t have fully developed brains, and are not known for their stellar, logical decision making. This sounds like a parenting cop out. Imagine the kid in 15 years talking to a therapist about how abandoned he felt when his parents left him behind. I teach eighth graders -typical teens want to be wanted, but they don’t want anyone to know it matters so much to them.

You're a teacher so that makes you an expert in parenting teens on family vacations? Until you've been there, step back from the judgement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 was the hardest age. Kid thinks they know everything, won't help wtih anything, only wats to do what they want to do.

Kid is 15 now, and ven they will tell you they ruined the Hawaii vacation.

Teens can be threatened and bribed. Toddlers hands down. Teens you can also leave. Don’t want to go to Haleakala, fine stay here we’ll go without you.

Wowee that sounds like a healthy household!

You clearly haven't hit the teen years. I wouldn't throw shade this early in the game.

Wrong. I’m a teen parent; but I believe in connection and getting to the root of behavior issues, not threatening and abandoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 was the hardest age. Kid thinks they know everything, won't help wtih anything, only wats to do what they want to do.

Kid is 15 now, and ven they will tell you they ruined the Hawaii vacation.

Teens can be threatened and bribed. Toddlers hands down. Teens you can also leave. Don’t want to go to Haleakala, fine stay here we’ll go without you.

Wowee that sounds like a healthy household!

Actually it is. It is respecting their choice and not allowing them to ruin the vacation for everyone. Why is it healthier to make them go somewhere they don’t want to go?

Teens don’t have fully developed brains, and are not known for their stellar, logical decision making. This sounds like a parenting cop out. Imagine the kid in 15 years talking to a therapist about how abandoned he felt when his parents left him behind. I teach eighth graders -typical teens want to be wanted, but they don’t want anyone to know it matters so much to them.

You're a teacher so that makes you an expert in parenting teens on family vacations? Until you've been there, step back from the judgement

Also a teen parent. So, yes, I do make judgments based on both professional and personal experience. As another poster said, I agree with another poster about working on the root of behavior, not walking off when my kid is difficult. That basically models that when you confront a challenge and things don’t work out at first, you stop trying.

[Anonymous]

Been traveling since son since he was born, he’s five now. I also work for an airline so we travel frequently. 9 months til 4 pretty much sucked. Now at 5 he knows how to find out row goes right to his seat and buckles in. He knows what snacks and drinks they have. Knows to stay in his seat and behave and only occasionally has any type of outburst or issue. He likes to act up in the airport instead

[Anonymous]

I traveled solo a lot when kids were young. They are 18mos apart. When the youngest was 18mos we went camping and started long road trips. We also travelled by air. My lesson learned was meet kids where they are.

Rushing to the airport? No. Get there earlier, let them explore the airport a bit. Matching what they saw to the Richard Scary airport book was a big hit.

Rushing to get to your long haul road trip destination? No. Take long lunch/dinner. Strapping kids in for 8-9 hours while trying to beat your last record is silly. I planned an extra 2 hours for those trips. We found things to explore along the way. Sometimes meant less time with relatives / friends at the destination, but my kids were rested and happy — so much more pleasant to be around than overtired or overslept kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I traveled solo a lot when kids were young. They are 18mos apart. When the youngest was 18mos we went camping and started long road trips. We also travelled by air. My lesson learned was meet kids where they are.

Rushing to the airport? No. Get there earlier, let them explore the airport a bit. Matching what they saw to the Richard Scary airport book was a big hit.

Rushing to get to your long haul road trip destination? No. Take long lunch/dinner. Strapping kids in for 8-9 hours while trying to beat your last record is silly. I planned an extra 2 hours for those trips. We found things to explore along the way. Sometimes meant less time with relatives / friends at the destination, but my kids were rested and happy — so much more pleasant to be around than overtired or overslept kids.

Forgot the teen experience now — they have so many more commitments. So much more groaning overall. However they are still great travelers. What is frustrating is their (lack of) packing skills. Requires so much more patience. I’m not packing for them (they need the experience) but I do have a backup checklist of items. It will be -20 F, do you have gloves? Ask a few more times, and when you arrive at your destination as I did today, they don’t have them. It’s just a new stage to learn what to do (both parent and child).

Greatest thing for us — no electronics in car. No crying about wanting or losing it. It is a none factor. They can also help navigate because they were fascinated with following our routes on maps. (Lookout Amazing Race!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12 was the hardest age. Kid thinks they know everything, won't help wtih anything, only wats to do what they want to do.

Kid is 15 now, and ven they will tell you they ruined the Hawaii vacation.

Teens can be threatened and bribed. Toddlers hands down. Teens you can also leave. Don’t want to go to Haleakala, fine stay here we’ll go without you.

Wowee that sounds like a healthy household!

You clearly haven't hit the teen years. I wouldn't throw shade this early in the game.

Wrong. I’m a teen parent; but I believe in connection and getting to the root of behavior issues, not threatening and abandoning.

It's giving a choice and riding out the consequences of that choice. You know, like the adult they will soon become? If your kid is on the therapist's couch whining about "abandonment" because they were being an ass and decided (decided!) they were going to hang back and didn't like it? You've utterly failed. Like no grit, utter snowflake and I'm a pretty sensitive Liberal. Your ay could also be interpreted as "I said my preference and my parents forced me to go against my will, they have no trust in me and don't respect me as a person."

[Anonymous]

Crawling-2.5/3 (basically whenever they can be entertained by screens for more than 10 mins at a time). Mine are now 8, 10 & 13 and are fabulous travelers. They carry their own bags, help each other and parents out, and love exploring new places.
Currently in a bus making our way through Vietnam and the kids are having a blast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens have meltdowns too.

Try to find the source of the meltdowns instead of thinking of it as frustrating or defiant behavior. A meltdown means a limit has been hit; a need is not met. Add humor.

Non-responsive. The answer is 9 months to 3 years. Travel/vacations at that age are very difficult.

There are no vacations with children. There are only trips.

[Anonymous]

I can't speak to the teen years yet but agree with the concensus that 1-2.5 yrs was utter hell.

Just remembering the nonstop wriggling on the plane makes me want to cry.

They are too old to sleep in carriers or strollers, but too young to skip naps, so you're stuck hiding in the hotel room hoping they nap (I have a memory of literally camping out in the hotel room bathroom with H for 2 hours while our 1 yo slept in the hotel room. They need to go to sleep by 8 pm and still wake up at like 5 am, so you can't go out late and have fun but you're still tired and sleep deprived.

They can't swim yet so you can't relax at the beach or pool. Mine were both runners so I couldn't relax period, it was just nonstop chasing them. Might sit at a restaurant (assuming it has a high chair, many in other countries don't IME) , but only for 30 min.

It's just relentless. You are never not physically holding or restraining them, and doing it all on less sleep. Not to even mention meltdowns! My kids were both exhausting but happy, so I never dealt as much with that.

Just writing this out is giving me ptsd. One of the most exhausting things I've ever done. I know the teen parents are insisting that it's worse but that is genuinely hard for me to imagine. Like others have said, at least a teen can have some alone time, or sit and pout at the pool without drowning themselves.

Mine are 3 and 6 now. It's still not pre kid travel obviously, but it's night and day compared to younger kids. We can find activities they enjoy, we can sit at the beach, we can walk down a sidewalk without holding one of them or chasing anyone. When we're really in a bind, we can turn a movie on. I actually enjoy and look forward to trips now.