3rd kid at 43.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 44 and would love another. I feel I’m too old. My eggs are too old. I’m afraid of genetic defects.

If I was childless, I would absolutely go for it but not if I had 2-3 kids already. Not sure how I would feel if I only had one kid.

Exactly how I'd feel. I would do it for a first and maybe a second. Definitely not for a third or beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just can't help but look around the dinner table thinking ... we're not all here yet.

If that makes ANY sense at all.

That's beautiful.

It’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ I hope you’re the same person who keeps posting this theme over and over. As a 42-year old, I just don’t want it to be true!

I have never posted this but I can tell you at 47, my current age, I feel (and look) worlds different than 42. I have aged so much. I feel like I am falling apart. Sadly. I could not handle a 4 year-old right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's incredibly selfish to have a child that old. My mother had me when she was 40 and she died when I was four. Maybe you won't be diagnosed with breast cancer when this child is two but maybe you will and leave a four year old motherless. Get a puppy.

My grandmother died at 27, leaving behind a 2 and 4 year old. I am really sorry, OP. Mother loss so young is unfathomable

[Anonymous]

I’m 33 and dh is 36 and I wonder if we have enough energy for a third! Lol. It’s entirely up to you. I wouldn’t choose to have a child in my forties, but the equation is different if your first two would be close in age or if the pregnancy is an accident. If they are not, hard pass. I think deliberately having a last kid later in life, with much older siblings is not ideal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the sibling bond is stronger with just two than with three, especially if the three are spaced far apart. How it will affect the family dynamic depends on the ages of the other two.

I think this is entirely dependent upon the family. My husband and mother are both one of two and neither are close with their only sibling. Im from a bigger family and we are incredibly close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I hope you’re the same person who keeps posting this theme over and over. As a 42-year old, I just don’t want it to be true!

I have never posted this but I can tell you at 47, my current age, I feel (and look) worlds different than 42. I have aged so much. I feel like I am falling apart. Sadly. I could not handle a 4 year-old right now.

+1

I'm 44 and I look and feel incredibly different than I did just four years at 40. Like I've aged a decade already.

-- NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:now that I'm 50+ I'm SO THANKFUL that i don't have a young child.
I felt like I was 20 years old until I was about 47. Then age really caught up with me. Many of my friends feel the same way--late 40s is hard on women. Aging accelerates.

This - I’m 45 and am really starting to feel my age. I’m so glad to no longer be parenting little kids because I couldn’t do it at this age. I’m sure everyone is different but I’m shocked how exhausted I am.

Same. I'm 47 with a senior in HS. There's no way I could have a 4 yr old right now. Maybe if I didn't work and had extra help with cleaning, etc. I'm a single parent teacher and I'm just tired.

[Anonymous]

I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My neighbor had a child at 46 - her first. So, she's 54 with a 2nd grader and will be 64 when that child is a senior in high school. While they are happy, those numbers would make me think hard about the long-term implications of your deicsion to have a baby at 43.

I never get the people who do the math like this. What does it mean to you to be 54 with a 2nd grader? Or 64 with a child who is a senior? Is that any more shocking than being, say, 50 with a second grader? Or being 60 when your child is a senior in high school? 54 and 60 both feel eons away to me. I’m 44, so they aren’t! My daughter is in kindergarten. I think I’m supposed to be so shocked at those ages that I would never consider having a baby at an advanced age, but that math never works on me. Had my one and only child at 39. I’m not having more because I feel old enough NOW, thank you, but not because 60 sounds too old to have a high school kid.

I was a high school kid with a 60+ parent it and was too old. They didn’t plan it out that way; I was a surprise. That’s why I think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

Sorry your first two kids didn’t fulfill you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

Sorry your first two kids didn’t fulfill you.

I’m not sure why you feel defensive and are being snarky about people wanting to have multiple children. I think an only child is right for many families but it is fairly common for people to want more than one child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my third at 42, and had also just felt like we were missing someone. I got lucky and had an easy pregnancy and healthy, easygoing baby. I will say that now, in early 50s, I’m much less energetic than I imagined I would be but it’s manageable and I can’t imagine our family without him.

You did not always feel like you were missing someone. That’s absurd and made up.

I don’t know, I have three and after each pregnancy except for my last I was already sure that I wanted another. After my third pregnancy I no longer had that feeling and felt my family was complete. I’m sure I would have gotten over it with time but if I had only had two kids I would’ve definitely felt like I was missing something.

Sorry your first two kids didn’t fulfill you.

Sorry that your first one didn’t fulfill you. Will you say that to people that what two kids?