Help please. 7 month old wakes every 30 mins

[Anonymous]

You need to consider whatever harm you think there is from CIO against you possibly falling asleep at the wheel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you’re trying to use the free Pre-K and picked a school way away from your house. Pull your kids and put them in the same paid pre-k near your house and do one drop off and pick up. Three round trips of an hour each is stupid even if you didn’t have a baby to deal with. You will have plenty of nap time slots then.

It's actually private school that costs quite a bit of money bit thanks so much for your concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally cannot fathom thinking that a couple hours, max, of crying for a few days is somehow more cruel then leaving your child to be extraordinarily sleep deprived for weeks with no end in sight.

I also can’t fathom prioritizing a half day preschool program over an infant getting any restorative daytime sleep. How if your baby supposed to learn and grow like this?

Something needs to give in your day so your baby can nap. Period. Figure that out. Then, especially if it was going better before, night sleep might even out on its own as your baby moves out of her exhausted state in a couple days. Otherwise, CIO. If you prefer checks, that’s fine. I recommend The Sleep Easy Solution, but any system will do as long as you’re consistent.

I can't fathom how you don't understand that CIO doesn't align with my beliefs. I also can't fathom how you don't understand that CIO will be much harder on the baby than average since daytime nap schedule is not practical at this time.

Lastly, how can you not fathom that the needs of all of my children are important to me? This includes my 3 yo in a half day preschool program.

The naps are a moving target at this age. In a few moths shell be down to two naps and I can perhaps make those work at home. Once she goes down to one nap this won't even be an issue.

Thanks so much to the few of you that offered helpful suggestions. The rest of you mommy shamers can suck it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Why isn’t your baby napping 9-10:30? Wouldn’t that fit into your driving schedule? Even 9:30-11? 10-11:30? You need daytime CIO. Sleep begets sleep and your baby is up all night because you are making her exhausted. It’s not okay.

On the rare occasions that she doesn't fall asleep before we get home around 9:15 she seems to be too tired and doesn't fall asleep until 10 AM after ~45 min of nursing/rocking/swaying/singing. Then I have to get her up at 10:30 to leave again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi op - there is a happy medium between what the pps are suggesting (just close the door) that is still sleep training and will help your situation and will involve some crying but is still responsive to your baby. Follow the peaceful sleeper on Instagram and consider doing a consultation. We worked with Ashley and she was so so so helpful. And they adjust everything to each parents comfort, can take it as gentle as needed. It was really individualized and our lives are soo much better. And during “sleep training” we still responded and soothed, rocked to sleep if a nap failed or baby couldn’t get down, and he still drastically improved within days and is doing better every day. My baby is a little younger but he is so much happier now that he sleeps more consistently. The peaceful sleeper has 4 kids so she understands balancing a variety of needs. She’s the most reasonable sleep person I’ve seen in that regard.

Thank you! This is so helpful.

You’re welcome! I actually did their group training (I did it with Ashley, who is one of the consultants under Chrissy who runs the peaceful sleeper because it’s a little cheaper with Ashley) it’s not cheap but it was SO SO helpful. They are actually on zoom with you while you are doing the training.. and can help you make it more gentle or adjust etc. Honestly my husband and I were both surprised at just how helpful it really was. My husband exclaimed he would have paid double at one point. It helped so much with the anxiety. Anyway they have much cheaper options for consults or other types of help ( a book, or a video course and you could def def do it on your own, but working with them directly was such a life saver for our tired selves) This is what we did (obviously a privilege that we can throw money at the issue)

https://thepeacefulsleeper.com/group-sleep-training/

I should add my son was also waking every 30min to an hour for much of the night (it was after 2am for us) so we were in pretty bad shape as well.

Peaceful Sleeper Mom-

I'm hoping you check back here. Went over all her options last night between wake ups and I'm having paralysis by analysis. Can you level with me? What's the secret sauce here? Timed checks? Okay if it is but I'm just trying to figure out if I need the custom plan or if I can DIY since I've experience with a sleep coach with one of my kids. I'm hesitant about any crying since I knownI can't adhere to a great nap schedule yet and may just want to wait until her wake windows fall more in lime with being home.

Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP not piling on you. Have you thought about just cosleeping entirely? Or keeping her crib in your room?

Id also ask if there are any other issues besides sleeping like loose stools, congestion, not liking the car, excessive spitup. Did you recently start solids?

Im in the not sleep training boat but I do think there is a large swath of possibilities between my personal take (cosleeping until 18mo-2years and sharing responsibilities at night with another parent and both parents WOH before I get the comments about how not everyone has time for that) and the complete CIO shut the door avenue. Neither of these seem right for you based on your responses so youll need to find what does work for you and your baby and the rest of your family. If the pickup and dropoff situation cant change and short frequent naps are happening then you need to address night time sleep and/or naps, but likely both. What situation is going to allow you and baby to get the most sleep? It may be unorthodox for others but they dont matter, and the end of the day getting your childs total sleep time increased and your total sleep time increased is the priority.

At 7 months you are looking at 12-16 hours total and a few naps with daytime sleep averaging 3-4 hours. From your post it looks like its a 30min nap plus a few (1-3?) 20 min naps. When is the 30 min nap? If not an issue with driving, I would go in around 25 minutes and help her go back to sleep. Its making sure she goes out of the sleep cycle and assisting her to go right back in- that can take the form of patting or shushing etc. I also wonder if babywearing during that 30min nap is an option.

Is she falling asleep in the car towards the end of the drive home or to drop off- if so, is she in a convertible seat or a bucket seat? If its a bucket I would see if transferring to a stroller and using that time in the morning to walk and help her extend the nap and then start to shorten the walk then remove the walk all together and do a transfer with rocking and then remove rocking slowly to see if she can -over a few weeks of time- go from car seat to crib transition. Youve gotta find a way to break these 20-30 min cycles, which may take some more effort and work on your end.

Also I have plenty of friends who did not breastfeed whose children woke during the night. If nursing at night gets you all more sleep then do it. He/she will wean eventually and weaning is done slowly. I realize that some people feel that it is prolonging the inevitable but I prefer to remove nursing at night and implementation of stronger boundaries at night to when parents and child can communicate and they can understand what is going on. Its a slow process in my household and it works for us. Thats what matters.

I just want to thank you for this thoughtful post. Rather than responding to each question you posed so I can be ripped apart by the women on here claiming that I'm abusing my baby by driving my other children to and from school (22 mins away, fwiw. I round up for car line) I'll just say that you've given me some ideas to consider. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids and have been through it all with sleep. I have a 7 month old currently. I **strongly** agree with the pp's that your problem won't be solved until you solve the nap problem. Poor day sleep is definitely associated with poor night sleep. Can you find a neighbor or mother's helper who can sit with baby during naps? What is your driving schedule? My 7 month old naps from 9-11:30 and 12:30-2:30. He can def be pushed to 1-3 if need be. Those naps should make school pick ups and drop offs doable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids and have been through it all with sleep. I have a 7 month old currently. I **strongly** agree with the pp's that your problem won't be solved until you solve the nap problem. Poor day sleep is definitely associated with poor night sleep. Can you find a neighbor or mother's helper who can sit with baby during naps? What is your driving schedule? My 7 month old naps from 9-11:30 and 12:30-2:30. He can def be pushed to 1-3 if need be. Those naps should make school pick ups and drop offs doable.

pp here I would add that I had a bad sleeper with my third and found myself too tired and overwhelmed by everyone's advice. I read the two chapters in ferber on night weaning and then sleep training. I did it at 7 months. My baby went from waking many times a night to sleeping 12 hrs straight through in one week. you DONT have to read his whole book. just the two chapters on night weaning (must be done first) then sleep training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids and have been through it all with sleep. I have a 7 month old currently. I **strongly** agree with the pp's that your problem won't be solved until you solve the nap problem. Poor day sleep is definitely associated with poor night sleep. Can you find a neighbor or mother's helper who can sit with baby during naps? What is your driving schedule? My 7 month old naps from 9-11:30 and 12:30-2:30. He can def be pushed to 1-3 if need be. Those naps should make school pick ups and drop offs doable.

pp here I would add that I had a bad sleeper with my third and found myself too tired and overwhelmed by everyone's advice. I read the two chapters in ferber on night weaning and then sleep training. I did it at 7 months. My baby went from waking many times a night to sleeping 12 hrs straight through in one week. you DONT have to read his whole book. just the two chapters on night weaning (must be done first) then sleep training.

Thanks I'll look into it. I agree that the naps need to be resolved before I tackle night sleep. Really don't want to CIO. May do briefly timed checks if push comes to shove.

It's a vicious cycle. She's waking up too early so her first car cat nap falls on our way to drop off. She wakes when the kids exit the vehicle so she isn't tired enough to go back to sleep until the mid-day pick up. Same thing, falls asleep on the way there for ~20 mins and then too tired to go back to sleep until last pickup of the day. Rinse and repeat. Occasionally she will stay up until I can get her in the crib for one of those naps then it rarely lasts over 30 mins.

Though she did have a nice 90 min crib nap this morning, the only day we don't have a packed schedule.

[Anonymous]

Agree with 99% of others here who say you need to fix the day nap issue or nothing will improve. This poor baby needs restorative, uninterrupted sleep for brain development. If you won’t budge on dragging an exhausted baby back and forth in the car all day with your hectic day schedule at the least CIO so she can get some sleep at night. If you wind up with a a perpetually exhausted baby, then toddler, then kid who is grumpy, cranky, and misses milestones because they’re a total zombie from never being taught or permitted healthy sleep habits, you’ll be posting here nonstop with many more real issues than you have now. Literally everyone who has posted has told you you have to let the baby sleep during the day even if you need to change something else in your routine. Listen to what we’re saying; there’s never consensus on DCUM so guess what we are on to something here. Wishing you luck. And that exhausted baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 4 kids and have been through it all with sleep. I have a 7 month old currently. I **strongly** agree with the pp's that your problem won't be solved until you solve the nap problem. Poor day sleep is definitely associated with poor night sleep. Can you find a neighbor or mother's helper who can sit with baby during naps? What is your driving schedule? My 7 month old naps from 9-11:30 and 12:30-2:30. He can def be pushed to 1-3 if need be. Those naps should make school pick ups and drop offs doable.

pp here I would add that I had a bad sleeper with my third and found myself too tired and overwhelmed by everyone's advice. I read the two chapters in ferber on night weaning and then sleep training. I did it at 7 months. My baby went from waking many times a night to sleeping 12 hrs straight through in one week. you DONT have to read his whole book. just the two chapters on night weaning (must be done first) then sleep training.

Thanks I'll look into it. I agree that the naps need to be resolved before I tackle night sleep. Really don't want to CIO. May do briefly timed checks if push comes to shove.

It's a vicious cycle. She's waking up too early so her first car cat nap falls on our way to drop off. She wakes when the kids exit the vehicle so she isn't tired enough to go back to sleep until the mid-day pick up. Same thing, falls asleep on the way there for ~20 mins and then too tired to go back to sleep until last pickup of the day. Rinse and repeat. Occasionally she will stay up until I can get her in the crib for one of those naps then it rarely lasts over 30 mins.

Though she did have a nice 90 min crib nap this morning, the only day we don't have a packed schedule.

That’s great OP! Good luck!
Don’t let the mean arpies on DCUM stress you out even more… they are likely none of onlies who have no experience having to juggle multiple kids. It will get better soon.

I suspect that because you are so exhausted, you are giving in to whatever baby wants/need. We did this with our third and it was a mistake. I ended up spending 4 nights awake (sort of) to wean baby from night feeding. He cried a lot and spent a lot of time awake… and it was really hard, but it worked. He stared sleeping much batter and only waking up once at 5am (he used to wake up every 1-2 hours). We co sleep though…. Not sure you want to do that.

We choose a long weekend when my DH could help and when we had other people able to help during the day because I literally did not sleep for 2 nights. We took turns, but things got better as soon as baby could sleep without milk. We never let him cry alone, we watched cars out of the window, we walked, rocked, danced, all you can think of to sooth him and distract him from wanting milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and wrote above about changing nap schedule.

Everyone is piling up on OP who is trying to do her best for her 3 kids. She has 2 more to take care of and the middle child is the most frail one right now. That baby (probably just turned 3) has just started preschool with all that goes with it. She can’t take him/her out now… it’s a non negotiable and I understand that. The baby is fine in the car especially since as we all know, in a few months he /she will be down to 2 naps and then 1. It would be cruel to change the middle child schedule for the baby’s nap.

No, op you need to keep baby awake during the first car ride or ask your husband to drive the kids to school while he takes his meetings on his phone (my DH does this). If your husband can’t drive the kids, then find a way to keep your baby awake.
He/she will be exhausted by 9-9:30 when you are home and will sleep right away comfortable in a bed, stroller, whatever (my first did all her naps in a stroller and it was great). Then he/she won’t be too tired during the first pick up…

You don’t do preschool for a 3 year old when you have a tired baby at home. Preschool isn’t a necessity. Sleep for a baby is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with 99% of others here who say you need to fix the day nap issue or nothing will improve. This poor baby needs restorative, uninterrupted sleep for brain development. If you won’t budge on dragging an exhausted baby back and forth in the car all day with your hectic day schedule at the least CIO so she can get some sleep at night. If you wind up with a a perpetually exhausted baby, then toddler, then kid who is grumpy, cranky, and misses milestones because they’re a total zombie from never being taught or permitted healthy sleep habits, you’ll be posting here nonstop with many more real issues than you have now. Literally everyone who has posted has told you you have to let the baby sleep during the day even if you need to change something else in your routine. Listen to what we’re saying; there’s never consensus on DCUM so guess what we are on to something here. Wishing you luck. And that exhausted baby.

+1. OP doesn’t want to hear the truth and has turned on five pages of PPs trying to help. Bless her heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids and wrote above about changing nap schedule.

Everyone is piling up on OP who is trying to do her best for her 3 kids. She has 2 more to take care of and the middle child is the most frail one right now. That baby (probably just turned 3) has just started preschool with all that goes with it. She can’t take him/her out now… it’s a non negotiable and I understand that. The baby is fine in the car especially since as we all know, in a few months he /she will be down to 2 naps and then 1. It would be cruel to change the middle child schedule for the baby’s nap.

No, op you need to keep baby awake during the first car ride or ask your husband to drive the kids to school while he takes his meetings on his phone (my DH does this). If your husband can’t drive the kids, then find a way to keep your baby awake.
He/she will be exhausted by 9-9:30 when you are home and will sleep right away comfortable in a bed, stroller, whatever (my first did all her naps in a stroller and it was great). Then he/she won’t be too tired during the first pick up…

You don’t do preschool for a 3 year old when you have a tired baby at home. Preschool isn’t a necessity. Sleep for a baby is.

-1 how come 3 year old needs for socializing, learning, becoming more independent, etc. Are less important than baby’s nap? This is ridiculous! I absolutely disagree! Baby can switch nap schedule, but 3 year old should stay in school… no question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- Why isn’t your baby napping 9-10:30? Wouldn’t that fit into your driving schedule? Even 9:30-11? 10-11:30? You need daytime CIO. Sleep begets sleep and your baby is up all night because you are making her exhausted. It’s not okay.

On the rare occasions that she doesn't fall asleep before we get home around 9:15 she seems to be too tired and doesn't fall asleep until 10 AM after ~45 min of nursing/rocking/swaying/singing. Then I have to get her up at 10:30 to leave again.

You need to deal with this. 45 minutes of rocking/swaying/singing? Sleep train for naps. There are numerous methods that don’t involve CIO. Research, pick one, and stick to it. If you insist on preschool, you need to make it so your baby is sleeping between trips. You may need to “force” it.