Have you dated someone that was still friends with their ex?

[Anonymous]

An ex spouse they have a child with to be more specific. If so, did your relationship work out?

[Anonymous]

I would want my husband to get along well with the mother of his children. For everyones sake. Now I don't want anything beyond that, but a basic friendship with good communication would be good.

[Anonymous]

If you are this insecure, leave now and spare everyone your drama.

[Anonymous]

I'm friends with my ex because we have a child and we get along. We do things as a family fairly often because it makes our daughter happy. Nothing to be threatened about.

[Anonymous]

So you prefer if they are in and out of court? If they argue all of the time? If they curse each other out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are this insecure, leave now and spare everyone your drama.

This. Your boyfriend speaking to his child's mother comes with the territory. If you can't handle that, date someone with no children. If he didn't talk to her or the child at all, he'd be an asshole and not someone you should date anyway.

[Anonymous]

I find indifference to be the sweet spot. No one wants baby mama drama or any type of tension/spite. But I also don't want best buddies, we love our family, text all the time. Because the way I feel is if you get along so great then y'all should of stayed together as a family. It works best when they aren't anything...not enemies, not friends, just co parents with little to no emotion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with my ex because we have a child and we get along. We do things as a family fairly often because it makes our daughter happy. Nothing to be threatened about.

I think that sounds awesome, I know a few couples like this and am impressed.

Was your decision to divorce mutual? Was it contentious at all? How long did it take you to get past all of the emotions and have a true friendship for your daughter's sake?

Hoping for the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with my ex because we have a child and we get along. We do things as a family fairly often because it makes our daughter happy. Nothing to be threatened about.

I think that sounds awesome, I know a few couples like this and am impressed.

Was your decision to divorce mutual? Was it contentious at all? How long did it take you to get past all of the emotions and have a true friendship for your daughter's sake?

Hoping for the same.

Oh and one more question if you don't mind -- how does dating work out for each of you? If you're in new relationships, do they ever join for the family fun? Do they know your ex-spouse?

[Anonymous]

I'm friends with my ex. In fact, we vacation together because we want our kid to experience that. There is nothing to be jealous about. My ex know I still think he is an ass and a horrible romantic parter, but we can be friends when it comes to our child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find indifference to be the sweet spot. No one wants baby mama drama or any type of tension/spite. But I also don't want best buddies, we love our family, text all the time. Because the way I feel is if you get along so great then y'all should of stayed together as a family. It works best when they aren't anything...not enemies, not friends, just co parents with little to no emotion.

Agree.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I wasn't exactly asking for me, I'm asking due to a conversation with my male friend. He's dating a divorced mom and she introduced him to her ex husband. He said he thought it was strange and told me that they're a little too friendly with each other. He worries she may still be in love with him. He's debating on whether or not he should end things, but I said he should at least talk to her first.

[Anonymous]

She is probably not still in love with him. Lol
She might be trying to ward off trouble with the ex by letting him meet the new guy in her life.
If they get along that's a good thing. If it's too much getting along that will end when she is in a serious relationship with someone else. Trust me. Been there done that. It resolves on its own.
Signed,
Divorced mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with my ex. In fact, we vacation together because we want our kid to experience that. There is nothing to be jealous about. My ex know I still think he is an ass and a horrible romantic parter, but we can be friends when it comes to our child.

I know two divorced couples that vacation together. They always have sex when the kids are out. Like in the hotel bathroom. One explained that it's easy because they "have a history." I would be wary of these blurred lines if dating a divorcee.

[Anonymous]

If she still is in love with her ex, your friend would have seen the signs by now and then meeting the ex would have been the a-ha moment for the behavior. Why is your friend trying to cut bait? Is he not into her and looking for an excuse, feeling the pressure like this sh$$ is about to get real because he met the ex-husband and maybe the kids, or worried about her being unfaithful because he has been burned before?

Because at the end of the day, it isn't about her ex-spouse, it's about her relationship with your friend. Does he feel like it is lacking, like they never spend time together, he comes after walking the dog on the list of priorities, that they don't communicate well, she holds back with him but not with other people etc. If your friend feels things are going well other than this worry, as pp mentioned if there really is too much getting along with the ex, that will end with a serious relationship unless the person has issues with setting boundaries in general. If the person has issues with setting boundaries, chances are that dynamic will play out in their relationship and cause issues. It's like we say when someone complains that they have an in law problem, it's like no, you have a spouse problem if your spouse isn't setting boundaries and has your back with his/her parents.