New ADHD diagnosis help with interpersonal relationships
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Anonymous
| My 7 yo son was recently diagnosed with ADHD. He has trouble in the following areas: keeping his hands to himself, controlling emotions, especially anger and sadness, will cry at the slightest disappointment (someone cut in line in front of him, did not get the part he wanted in a school play, has to go to bed, the list goes on). I am mostly concerned that he does not play well with other kids He is great on play dates, one on one, however in situations with a lot of kids, running around, stimulating kind of settings, he immediately gets into a confrontation with someone. And because he is generally very loud, he will ultimately be the one in trouble. He is a stellar student (academically) but behavior wise we have some work to do. He does not like or maybe cannot admit when he is wrong, and genuinely believes that everyone is plotting against him. All of this is painfully apparent at recess, parties, lunchtime, birthday parties, scout meetings. We are in Rockville/N. Bethesda area. Is there a social group that can help with this? Or maybe someone can recommend techniques or books that I can use. We used Kazhdin method to eliminate some other unwanted behaviors, but cannot figure out how to deal with the social situation. TIA |
Anonymous
| We had similar issues with our child. After many attempts at social groups, therapists, etc we came to the conclusion that it was too difficult to force our child to go to therapy. So I went to a parenting specialist and learned the techniques to use at home to help him learn how to control his emotions and manage relationships. I don't mean to sound like a downer on child therapists but I think they are a giant waste of time and money. The parents are the ones who need to learn the techniques, not the kids. The kids don't internalize them unless the parents are implementing. |
Anonymous
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From personal experience I would recommend Unstuck and On Target through Ivymount Outreach. Even though it was designed with kids on the spectrum, don't let that put you off. (Kazdin worked with kids who were diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder). The parenting class that goes in tandem with the social skills was extremely helpful.
You can get the books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Solving-Executive-Function-Challenges-Unstuck/dp/1598576038/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478814881&sr=1-2&keywords=unstuck+and+on+target Kids with ASD and ADHD often have problems with executive functioning, regulation, and inflexibility. They reinforce with the kids how to make a plan B to move on when things don't go as expected or their way. |
Anonymous
FYI, my kid has ADHD not ASD, but still very worthwhile. I learned a lot. |
Anonymous
How did the specialist help you help your child with personal relationships? What type of training did your seek? What has been the result in terms of your child's peer relationships? Thank you. |
Anonymous
| We did the alvord baker groups. I really don't know if it helped or not, to be honest. It's so hard to measure these things. We've also used some books recommends in this forum, Like how to take the grrr out of anger and what to do when... (it's a whole series, pick the one that suits your kid's issue). If your kid is academically inclined, a book might be an easier way for him to internalize what he needs to do, although of course he'll need to practice with actual people. |
Anonymous
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Does your school have a school counselor? My kid, 9, with ASD/ADHD gets one-on-one help using the Superflex curriculum. She tried Unstuck and Ontarget with DS but found Superflex a better fit. It works better having another adult instead of a parent teaching IME.
DS also gets pragmatic language/social skills classes with SLP at school in a small group. My DS excels academically but has an IEP due to his social communication issues and it has been tremendously helpful. |
Anonymous
| You don't mention if you are starting medication. I'm not trying to start a debate, but we found that my DC was not really able to use skills from groups until the medication helped with the impulse control issues and gave DC enough time to pause and use a skill. |
Anonymous
Agree with this. OP, your DS sounds a lot like mine. We've found that a combination of medication, sessions with a psychologist, reinforcement via a 504 plan at school (and a great teacher and school counselor) have been good. |
Anonymous
| Social thinking.com has excellent resources for social skills. There are social skills groups in Rockville. Sue Abrams has one. Also Slvord Baker, JCC, and I believe Ivymount unstuck and on target or other. |