what 'should' my child be doing 'academically' at 4?

[Anonymous]

We spend so much time on behavior I feel like none is spent on 'academics' to the extent they exist at 4.5. My child knows his letters, upper and lower, knows some words that start with each one, can write his name, trace letters, knows his numbers, can count, and can maybe count to 15 or so with object correlation. He can cut with scissors a tiny bit but has fine motor issues. What else should we be doing? he has major behavior issues so that is our main focus right now. But I worry we are going to get really far behind.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're fine. Does he know his colors and basic shapes? Can he sort objects by different characteristics, both ones that you suggest and ones that he thinks of?

[Anonymous]

nothing, he is 4, let him have fun and you are doing a great job, don't get worked up over the my kid does this my kid does that.

enjoy his crazy ways and relax

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you're fine. Does he know his colors and basic shapes? Can he sort objects by different characteristics, both ones that you suggest and ones that he thinks of?

Yes to colors and shapes. I am not sure re the latter. He knows things are animals, fruits, etc., but that sounds like something to work on.

[Anonymous]

Take it from a Tiger parent, no, he will not be far behind, and more importantly, no, it won't affect his overall academic path. The behavior issues have to be reduced enough that he can sit and listen and absorb information, for longer and longer periods of time. The fine motor issues do need to be addressed intensively, with scissoring and play-dough and Legos and perhaps piano if he's so inclined.

The most important thing is to make him love learning. So follow his lead right now, go to his favorite museums, read together, get him outside and pretend play.

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm I dunno sounds like you probably want to give up on Ivy League at this point and focus on second-tier schools.

[Anonymous]

In spite of what DCUMland would have you believe, most KGers are not reading when they start. He will be in the middle of the pack or even slightly ahead academically if he knows his letters & letter sounds, basic phonemic games (starting sounds, rhymes), numbers & basic counting, sorting, and patterning.

He would be ahead if he starts K with beginning reading, skip counting, counting to 20+, etc.

I would focus on academics only if that's a point of self-esteem for him or helps with behavior. It's honestly the being able to consistently listen, follow directions, keep hands to oneself, etcetera that's often harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm I dunno sounds like you probably want to give up on Ivy League at this point and focus on second-tier schools.

well, considering my child has significant special needs and I am asking to get a frame of reference as to what NT kids are doing, we pretty much have done that. Thanks for your snark, but its misplaced and inappropriate here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm I dunno sounds like you probably want to give up on Ivy League at this point and focus on second-tier schools.

Please take your a**holish behavior out of the SN forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm I dunno sounds like you probably want to give up on Ivy League at this point and focus on second-tier schools.

well, considering my child has significant special needs and I am asking to get a frame of reference as to what NT kids are doing, we pretty much have done that. Thanks for your snark, but its misplaced and inappropriate here.

15:15 here. That PP was obviously joking. My son had significant special needs at that age and I was quite worried about him too, but still... you need to relax and lighten up! Could you perhaps be depressed? You need to take care of yourself too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm I dunno sounds like you probably want to give up on Ivy League at this point and focus on second-tier schools.

well, considering my child has significant special needs and I am asking to get a frame of reference as to what NT kids are doing, we pretty much have done that. Thanks for your snark, but its misplaced and inappropriate here.

15:15 here. That PP was obviously joking. My son had significant special needs at that age and I was quite worried about him too, but still... you need to relax and lighten up! Could you perhaps be depressed? You need to take care of yourself too

Maybe, I guess. There have been several suggestions that he is cognitively impaired so I am obviously very worried about that. I would like him to be on track academically because he is struggling so much everywhere else, I guess.

[Anonymous]

I would focus on the behavior issues, OP. Sounds like your kid is on target academically but even if he isn't, the main thing you need for school success is appropriate behavior.

So, it won't matter his reading group if he can't sit still at circle time, follow directions when it's time to line up, etc. These are things some kids need to really learn but it's good to try to teach some of these skills before K.

[Anonymous]

Not eating sand. Not biting/scratching hitting. Using the toilet. That kind of thing. I had one early reader and one who learned in pre-K, but if they'd showed up to Kindy not knowing how to read, they'd have been right on track with the other kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would focus on the behavior issues, OP. Sounds like your kid is on target academically but even if he isn't, the main thing you need for school success is appropriate behavior.

So, it won't matter his reading group if he can't sit still at circle time, follow directions when it's time to line up, etc. These are things some kids need to really learn but it's good to try to teach some of these skills before K.

Oh we are focusing on the behavior. That was my point, I feel like that is all consuming so it's all we are doing .

[Anonymous]

former pre-k teacher here, he doesn't sound far behind at all. Yes at four learning letters and numbers and all that is important, but learning how to behave socially/ emotionally and at school is the most important part, and that is what it sounds like you are focusing on. Fine motor issues in boys that age is pretty typical, it is this age that it is pretty glaring the differences between boys and girls. Most (but not all) of the girls by the end of the 3 year old year school year can write their name in some form. The boys, not so much, maybe a couple of them.