Driving Long Distances with a Newborn

[Anonymous]

[Cross-posted in 'Single Moms' and 'General Parenting']

I was wondering if anyone could provide some insights on long drives with newborns. I anticipate moving next year with what will be (at that time) a 3-month old baby. It's about an 8-hour drive.

Of course I assume you have to pull over every time you have to nurse, but what about for general crying/fussiness? Is there anything I can buy that will help the baby stay quiet and happy, and so that I don't have to pull over every ten minutes?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

That kind of distance is a lot to do with a baby so tiny. Can you think of anyone that you can take with you to help out?

[Anonymous]

OP here: to the PP. I don't know anyone who would be willing to fly here/drive back with me, or anyone here who would want to drive that far and then fly back. An adult car companion isn't realistic at this point so I have to assume I'm driving solo on this one. Some moms have told me that babies will fuss no matter what adults do that isn't what they specifically want, so I don't know that it would help anyway. If the baby fusses, I'll have to pull over and see what's up. I just know that some people have secrets (like mirrors they can put on the head rest, special woobies, etc).

[Anonymous]

I have to start by saying I would definitely try harder to find a companion who can help you. Does not have to be an adult, either, though that could help with actual driving. Do you have a teen neice/ nephew who might be interested in spending a few days here sightseeing as a reward for helping you with the baby on the way back? Could you pay for someone's ticket to fly out and drive back with you? Is there anyone who might appreciate a free ride to the west coast (or where ever you're going cross-country) in exchange for helping you?

That said, if you MUST go alone, and I would really re-think it with a 3 month old... here are my suggestions:

1. Take your car to the mechanic before you go. Have its wheels balanced, checked, aligned. Have the oil changed or checked. Check fluids, check the brakes, etc. Make sure you have a spare tire. You do not want to be on the side of the road, alone with a baby, with a blown tire or hose.

2. When you pull over to check the baby, don't go into rest stops or gas stations. You never know who is watching you, seeing you get out and then following you as prey, as a single woman with a baby.

3. Try to store up some milk so you don't have to nurse each time. You will have to stop at some point to nurse or be in pain, but not every single time the baby whimpers. But a three month old won't be able to hold a bottle or get a paci back in his/her mouth, so there's not much you can do from the front seat for a rear-facing, backseat infant. I'm assuming you won't put the baby in the front seat.

4. Learn your baby's sleep patterns and try to drive when he/she's sleeping (which should be most of the time, other than dirty diapers and feeding!)

The more I think about what you'll be dealing with, the more I think this is just too ambitious for one new, exhausted mom to do on her own. Isn't there someone who could help you, or that you could PAY to come with you? A neighbor's college kid who needs money? Anyone?

[Anonymous]

^^ Me again. What about having a car moving company haul your car across country for you? You and the baby could fly in comfort.

[Anonymous]

~ $500- $600 to move a car from DC to 90210. (Sorry, it was the only west coast zip that popped into my head!)

[Anonymous]

I drove 6 hours when my baby was about 10 weeks old by myself. I pulled over to nurse him, but other than when it was time for him to eat, he slept the whole time (both there and back!). The trip ended up being much better than I thought it would be and I wish you the same luck.

[Anonymous]

We drove a 7 hour trip at three months (that's 7 hours if we didn't have the baby). Stopped every two hours and also just threw out any expectations that we'd get there within any reasonable timeframe. i would have been happy if it took twice as much time as it should have.

-Stop when the baby wakes and nurse and do some physical activity with her. Even taking her into the rest area restroom for a diaper change was good activity. we stopped at lots of Sheetz.

-My baby cried a bit as she went to sleep. But since we had just stopped, she was full, and had a fresh diaper, we let it go, and she fell asleep. Once she woke up, however, we stopped to attend to her.

-putting the radio on an "in between" station for white noise sometimes helped. Sometimes not, but it can be worth a try.