Halloween and local grandparents

[Anonymous]

For those of you with local parents/ILs, do they come over on Halloween and go T-or-T with you and the kids? We have a lot of local family and each year, we have both sets of grandparents (and some other family members) come over for Halloween and stay through the evening---following us as we T-or-T, handing out candy, etc. They don't leave until after the kids go to bed. It was ok when they were really little but now the kids are getting older (in early elementary school) and they want to go out with their friends. And I want to hang out with my neighbors and T-or-T with them rather than having the grandparents follow us around. Our neighborhood is really social so I want to feel free to stop by and hang out at the various houses where we know people and not feel rushed along because we have an entire clan following us. Also, when Halloween is on a weeknight, I still have to work, come home, get some kind of dinner ready, etc and get the kids out. I don't need 5 extra people to feed.

Yes, I am partially ranting but my real question is, for those with local grandparents, what is the "norm" for Halloween visits?

[Anonymous]

My local parents have never come over for Halloween. Just tell your family since Halloween is a Monday this year its going to be really hectic and kid is going out with their friends so you aren't going to be having any kind of gathering this year. Tell them you will send lots of pictures. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My local parents have never come over for Halloween. Just tell your family since Halloween is a Monday this year its going to be really hectic and kid is going out with their friends so you aren't going to be having any kind of gathering this year. Tell them you will send lots of pictures. Done.

I've never told them there is a gathering--they take it upon themselves to gather I really just want the tradition to die but don't want to be rude. They are the type that if I tell them we are going T-or-T with friends, they will just hang out at our house to hand out candy (and we don't get many kids at all since everyone congregates around a few streets where there are block parties).

[Anonymous]

Op, do what you want to do - with some warning in advance to them. It might take a time of two for them to know this is the new reality. And please understand if they still want to come. Your kids should trick of treat with their friends and not alter their schedule in any way for Grandparents. This is a kid's day. Grandparents should not have any expectations of when or how much they will see the kids. Tell parents to eat before hand or bring their own sack dinner. Tell them you won't be feeding them. Tell them. Your fault if you don't, how would they know your wishes?? You can have your own plans too. But please understand, for them, any Halloween at all connected with your household maybe more enjoyable than not coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My local parents have never come over for Halloween. Just tell your family since Halloween is a Monday this year its going to be really hectic and kid is going out with their friends so you aren't going to be having any kind of gathering this year. Tell them you will send lots of pictures. Done.

I've never told them there is a gathering--they take it upon themselves to gather I really just want the tradition to die but don't want to be rude. They are the type that if I tell them we are going T-or-T with friends, they will just hang out at our house to hand out candy (and we don't get many kids at all since everyone congregates around a few streets where there are block parties).

Perfect. My mother-in-law does this. She gets to see the kids dressed up, and then she stays home to hand out candy while we wander the neighborhood begging for wine from our neighbors - er, I mean - trick or treat with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I'm stuck on the fact that you want to send your kids out with friends and then go trick or treating yourself with adult friends.

[Anonymous]

We don't like to drive around on Halloween and my parents like to be at their own house to give out candy to their neighborhood kids. They know everyone and love it.

We will see them the day before, in costume, to get a few treats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I'm stuck on the fact that you want to send your kids out with friends and then go trick or treating yourself with adult friends.

I think she meant hanging out with her neighbors while trick or treating with her kids. We do this, and I wouldn't want the grandparents hanging out either. It's the only time we get to visit with some of these people up and down the block.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I'm stuck on the fact that you want to send your kids out with friends and then go trick or treating yourself with adult friends.

I didn't write that thought out well. I meant I want to go out with my neighbors, their kids and my kids. Not my parents and ILs.

[Anonymous]

My in-laws are local, and they have never expressed an interest in coming to our house for Halloween. We bring the kids over to visit them in costume, usually some time before the big day. If they wanted to come they would be welcome, though - we have several neighbors over on Halloween before trick or treating and so it's turned into a more the merrier thing.

[Anonymous]

I would tell them that since Halloween is on a Monday, and the kids are older, things are going to be hectic this year. I'd say you'd like to dress the kids up and bring them by sometime this weekend to show off their costumes to grandma and grandpa instead of having them over on Monday. Then make the rounds with the grandparents on the weekend. It makes your weekend more hectic but it'll free up Halloween night.

Be sure to say instead of when you ask to come over on the weekend. Don't let them infer that it's in addition to Halloween.

[Anonymous]

Such a non problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My local parents have never come over for Halloween. Just tell your family since Halloween is a Monday this year its going to be really hectic and kid is going out with their friends so you aren't going to be having any kind of gathering this year. Tell them you will send lots of pictures. Done.

I've never told them there is a gathering--they take it upon themselves to gather I really just want the tradition to die but don't want to be rude. They are the type that if I tell them we are going T-or-T with friends, they will just hang out at our house to hand out candy (and we don't get many kids at all since everyone congregates around a few streets where there are block parties).

So what? God you sound like an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My local parents have never come over for Halloween. Just tell your family since Halloween is a Monday this year its going to be really hectic and kid is going out with their friends so you aren't going to be having any kind of gathering this year. Tell them you will send lots of pictures. Done.

I've never told them there is a gathering--they take it upon themselves to gather I really just want the tradition to die but don't want to be rude. They are the type that if I tell them we are going T-or-T with friends, they will just hang out at our house to hand out candy (and we don't get many kids at all since everyone congregates around a few streets where there are block parties).

Perfect. My mother-in-law does this. She gets to see the kids dressed up, and then she stays home to hand out candy while we wander the neighborhood begging for wine from our neighbors - er, I mean - trick or treat with the kids.

Exactly. I see this as a win-win. Plus, I can't help think you're being a bit of a drama queen. Your grandparents want to be with the kids and are not overly obtrusive. Big deal. As for dinner, get pizza. Easy.

Some people are never happy.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws and parents are local and they have never come for Halloween. Like PP, they don't like to drive on Halloween.