Do you Go to a Bday Party if you Did Not Invite the Kid to Yours?
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Anonymous
| Our son is having a bday party. We sent out our invitations about 3 weeks ago and within a couple of days had reached our max. We only invited children from school but if some children had declined the invitation, we were going to invite a couple of children who do not go to my son's school. Last week we received an invitation to a birthday party on the same day from a child who we did not invite to our son's birthday party but who we would have invited had we had the space. The parties are about two hours apart, so feasibly, our child could attend the other child's party but that child could not attend our child's party, as I have already explained. When I told my child about the invitation and that he could not go, he expressed that he really really wants to go, as it is at a fun and interesting venue that he has not been to. The other child's parents would never know we did not invite their child to our party because we move in different social circles and do not attend the same school. When I looked at the RSVPs for the other child's party, not many had RSVP'd to attend. Would it be poor etiquette to attend? I would feel guilty about going but wanted to get opinions from others. |
Anonymous
| I would go. Your kid wants to go and if you really didn't invite any similarly situated kids to the other birthday boy (i.e., no other teammates or however you know him), I wouldn't worry too much. If you feel badly, invite him for a one-on-one special play date sometime soon. |
Anonymous
| Since the two parties are on the same day, do you trust your kid not to mention he jut came from his birthday party? I understand why you didn't invite the other birthday boy, but you may not have time to communicate that to the other mother if your kid accidentally mentions it in some way. |
Anonymous
This was my thought. How old are the kids? How do they know each other? |
Anonymous
| This is OP. His party would be a couple of hours after the other boy's party. They are 8. We know each other though a small university alumni group of moms, who socialize about once a month. |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
|
I'm not sure how old your son is, but I would let him attend. If he is old enough to comprehend, I would explain that he shouldn't mention his party, because it might hurt feelings.
With that said, I'm hoping it's a drop off party. I would be exhausted after my own child's party! If you have to stick around you're a trouper! |
Anonymous
|
Sure we do. X
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Anonymous
| Wow. Really overthinking, OP. If your kid wants to go, let him. |
Anonymous
| Totally fine |
Anonymous
| I would have DH take DS (and maybe text them mom). At 8 y/o my DC was old enough to understand what not to talk about (in terms of parties) and why. He should go and have fun! If DS feels bad about inviting the kid maybe arrange a play date for the near future. |
Anonymous
| It's not a competition and doesn't need to be a quid pro quo -- I'd let your son go! |
Anonymous
| Sure. |
Anonymous
| You really can't include one more kid? Is there not space for just one more? I find at least one kid tends to drop out at the last minute or doesn't show. I might be the only one but that would really piss me off if your kid came to my son's party yet was invited to your son's party. |
Anonymous
I would rsvp Yes and contact Mom and say something like "he's actually having his own bday party earlier that day and due to space limitations we could only invite school friends or we would have loved to have Joey come." So Mom has a heads up. Then tell your son to not bring it up at the party, but if it slips out tell him to tell Joey that your mom only let him pick school friends because he couldn't have too many kids come. |