Weighing pros and cons to adopting a puppy to add to our family--what is the tipping point to a yes?

[Anonymous]

I'm taking this decision to adopt a puppy very seriously. My husband and I are very serious about wanting to be sure its the right decision for us based on the reality of the pros and cons and not a fleeting impulsive "they're so cute" as our deciding factor.
After looking at our list, it seems we have more pros than cons, but the cons are still there and will not go away (having to take it outside in bad weather at all hours of the day, etc). How do the cons get better with ownership of a dog? Do you just "suck it up" and live with them or do the positives completely outshine the negatives?

What is the complete tipping point that makes it all worth it, wouldn't change it for a million years ???

[Anonymous]

Totally get a dog! They are the best people you will ever know.

Don't get a puppy. Find a rescue about 2 years old (or older!). You will know the temperament, how they are with kids, other dogs, in a home, and how big they will be without going through the trouble of a puppy.

Did that help?

[Anonymous]

We are in the exact same boat (or, standing on the same cliff?). Our kids are the perfect ages for a dog and we live in probably the most dog friendly state in the country. Everyone has a dog. There are resources galore (for pet sitting, grooming, care etc)…..but I'm so afraid of entering into a nightmare. I've had several dogs over the course of my life and all of them have been FANTASTIC, but that's the long game not the short term actuality of having three kids and a puppy. I'll be following this thread!

[Anonymous]

We just went through this decision-making process and found a puppy about 3 months ago. We got him young, so we have been dealing with all of the "cons" that would make anyone's list when talking about a puppy. Like you said, though, you do end up just sucking it up (cleaning up vomit, pee, constant up/down, in/out, hair on rugs, one more living thing demanding your attention, crate in the house, puppy beds everywhere, etc...)

For us, the tipping point really was when we could look at each other and say that the "sucking up" would be worth having a great family pet for our 3 kids, who are finally old enough to appreciate and maybe even help, with a dog.

We picked a very kid-friendly breed and tried to work with the breeder on the right temperament. I think we did pretty well there, as the pup is learning the rules at an appropriate pace and he is patient with the kids, as they are learning too.

Yes, I am stuck with the majority of the work and training (I WFH, spouse WOH, and kids are at school). But it's the deal I made and, really, how could a cute puppy not grow on you? That's not to say I haven't had my moments but the kids absolutely love him and watching them play together is pure gold.

Now, off to let the dog out--again!!

[Anonymous]

Whoops - PP with puppy again. I forgot to add that we tried to go through both a rescue and the local shelter and were denied dogs due to our children's age (youngest is 7). We didn't set out to get a puppy but after getting the kids' hopes up, and dashing them, by visiting and planning for a specific shelter dog that was "awarded" to someone else, we decided to go the breeder/puppy route.

[Anonymous]

For me, it's VERY much a labor of love. I don't mind, because I love her. It's that simple.

DH and I both trained, both took her out. Though generally he insisted on taking her out at night. Now we have a pee pad on the back balcony so she can just go out there herself.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm an experienced dog foster with kids. Mature dogs are a much better bet. You know what you are getting. Esp. if you work with a rescue group - in my experience, they will take the dog back if it's not a good fit.

FYI my rescue has never "awarded" a dog to one competitor over another. First approved adopter to sign the papers for a particular dog gets it.

[Anonymous]

If you looked dispassionately at the pros v cons of kids, we'd be facing a population crisis. Fortunately, love steps in and helps to mitigate the downside. It's the same with dogs. Puppies are undeniably a lot of work but the stage passes. The love you get in return makes it all worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine with 2 small kids (ages 8 and 5) adopted a puppy and mightily regrets it. The dog has several health issues and is just so much work. She constantly complains about the dog.

[Anonymous]

Imagine how much time and money you think you'll devote to the dog. And double it. Dogs, especially at first, are SO MUCH WORK. It's like learning the routine of a new baby-- is it potty trained? Can it make it through the night? How does it do with other kids/dogs/animals? Can it eat the first food you give it or does it need special stuff? Are you prepared to buy new shoes when it eats yours, and buy new dog toys because it doesn't like the initial batch you bought?
That's not to dissuade you-- we love having a dog. But it's so much more work than just walking it a few times a day and giving it food. It's having another living being in the house whose needs must be considered. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm an experienced dog foster with kids. Mature dogs are a much better bet. You know what you are getting. Esp. if you work with a rescue group - in my experience, they will take the dog back if it's not a good fit.

FYI my rescue has never "awarded" a dog to one competitor over another. First approved adopter to sign the papers for a particular dog gets it.

I'm the PP you're quoting. For the record, I didn't say a rescue "awarded" the dog to another person. The shelter did. One of the application requirements for adoption was to bring in the entire family to meet the dog. My kids were so excited and had a great meeting with the dog. There was no reason for them to pick someone else for the dog. They wouldn't give us an answer. They just said they picked a "better fit." The only thing we could think of were that our kids were too young for a dog without history.

[Anonymous]

We went over the puppy cliff one year ago.

One year later, it is hard to imagine our lives without him but it's not a decision to be taken lightly. The housebreaking was not a big deal with this dog - it was relatively painless. Also, there are a lot of things that money can solve (dog walker, doggie daycare, dogsitter) to make your live run more smoothly.

The hardest thing has been trying to find consistency in training. Our pup is sweet, but can get over-excited and go overboard while playing (we had to ban tug games). He still tries to hump legs and nip at ankles; chew on shoes; steal & shred tissues and napkins. All of these things are for attention - he actually gets LOTS of attention and exercise but yet he still wants more. Having all members of the family (different ages) react consistently for training purposes is an ongoing challenge. That said, now that he's over a year he is chilling out a bit, and I've heard to expect more chilling out in the next 6-12 months.

Also, we went in with eyes wide open. We did not expect that the kids would take primary responsibility for the dog. They have actually pretty much done as promised (older child walks him once per day); occasionally we have to remind/nag but not all that frequently. We did extract iron clad promises in advance from both kids about what their responsibilities were going to be.

He sleeps with one child or the other every single night. Cuteness overload.

[Anonymous]

Check out Lost Dog rescue. They have some great dogs right now. Sometimes the selection is not as good, but for some reason, there are a bunch of great ones right now.

[Anonymous]

We went with an older dog to avoid some of the puppy cons. There are disadvantages to not raising on your own but we love our older pup and she is definitely part of our family.

[Anonymous]

We recently went through this as well. For us the tipping points were:

Youngest child was old enough (almost 5) for me to feel that she would behave appropriately around the dog. Kids are also far more manageable than they used to be so it felt doable to add a dog. On the flip side--and I know it sounds a little crass--I appreciated the idea that we would (hopefully) have the dog through their childhoods but not beyond the time they were in college. At that point we may be moving into a new phase of life and I just don't know how a dog will fit in. Maybe we'll get another one! Or not. Who knows.
I had given it a lot of thought and felt we had achieved a good life balance, a good setup, and room/time to welcome a dog. I'd sat with the decision for awhile and it didn't feel impulsive.

To me what was unexpected was how difficult it is to leave the dog alone. I knew this but experiencing it is challenging. And as a pp said, it's another being in the house that needs attention, care, play, etc. It's a really big adjustment.

For us we are very very glad we went with a puppy. There are obvious challenges to doing so, but I did not feel our family was equipped to take on a rescue (young children and first time dog owners). Having since seen other families adopt a rescue and run into some difficulties I am even more secure in our decision. I think the difference is that the challenges with puppies are predictable, and the same goes for the challenges with specific breeds, generally speaking. You kind of know what you're going to get. With rescues/shelter dogs there are more unknowns and uncertainties and your ability to manage those will likely vary based on your situation, experience with dogs, and of course what the issues are.