Does your marriage/sex life recover when the kids get older?
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Anonymous
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DH and I have two toddlers. Both sttn and neither breastfeeds. Our sex life is okay, but I could usually take it or leave it. I might actually be in the mood maybe once every 3 weeks, although we avg about 2x week. And often we're often not even that nice to each other. In the evenings especially we're both so tired and snap at each other a good bit.
Will our marriage recover? It feels like a slog now, and when I think about another 40 years of this, I despair a bit. We love each other and are very close but please tell me it all gets easier when the kids are older. |
Anonymous
| yes, for me, it happened when our youngest was 3.5-4 ish |
Anonymous
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It CAN get better OP, but you have to work at it. Start working at it NOW.
Do things like Read the 5 love languages or similar books. Put some of the suggestions into motion Make a point to do things with your spouse without children Take dates, nights/weekends away Talk to your spouse, and not just about the day to day stuff Hugs, kisses, not just sex. But, keep up the sex, nice job OP. Be kind. Yes, I was at the point you are right now -- really could not imagine 40 more years with my husband. But I'm working at it, and it IS getting better, and I CAN see a future. |
Anonymous
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I actually think it's really hard to make things a lot better as the woman in the relationship. It gets better when my husband decides to make marriage/family a priority, and then it gets worse again when he disconnects.
I have found meditation, even just 5-10 minutes a day, to be very helpful in not getting snippy about it. |
Anonymous
| With two toddlers there is little time for anything. The key is that both of you accept that as being reality. But, you need to plan some quiet time. When our kids were young it tended to be Sunday night. Yes, the day was hectic but not work related and we'd get our kids to bed a little earlier. Week day nights? Forget it! |
Anonymous
| When we had two children under age 3, we did it once a week. Now with teenagers, it's more like 6X a month. "Recovery" is a relative term. |
Anonymous
| This thread quickly got depressing |
Anonymous
| Yes, ours certainly did. Couples with babies/young toddlers: you can get through this! |
Anonymous
That's 50% more often!! 
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Anonymous
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Yes, it did. We focused on being nice to each other and setting regular time apart for a date night. We haven't had a date in a while because everything g is so busy but just last night we were saying we have to find time. We both look forward to the "us" time.
It does take work, it doesn't just magically happen. |