When another parent mocks your teen for asking that they don't text and drive...

[Anonymous]

DD is 13.

Recently in a carpooling situation, she became nervous because the driver was frequently looking at his phone while driving (not just at red lights -- but while the car was in motion). DD is pretty assertive so she asked that he stop at least until she was out of the car. His response was to mock her as "safety girl" in front of all of her friends.

Besides the obvious that she will never ride in a car with these folks again, I'm curious how you would handle this. I told DD she did the right thing and next time she feels like her safety is being threatened to call one of us parents on the spot and asked to be picked up, even if it means being dropped off by the driver somewhere. But that doesn't really seem like a good solution.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Your DD was right and brave to speak up. The driver is a jerk. And I don't think there's anything further you can or should do, other than never letting her ride with that driver again.

[Anonymous]

Yes, call me on the spot. Let other mom moxk me. That will end it. I would follow up with that mom about her comment. Ask the obvious about she would want her D treated in that situation. Ask her if her D can go for a ride with you while you text and drive? They're jerks.

[Anonymous]

Do NOT let it go without telling other mom "my daughter may be "safety girl" but she's not "dipshit mother".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT let it go without telling other mom "my daughter may be "safety girl" but she's not "dipshit mother".

OP here.

The driver was a dad. Not that it changes anything.

I guess there are two things to get in his face about: 1) Texting and driving in the first place, much less with teens who will be driving themselves in a few years. Great example, Dad! And 2) Cutting down a child. Who does that?

The other question is whether this is similar to being in a drunk driving situation where you tell your kid you can call me anytime, night or day, or take a taxi/uber and I'll pay for it before you get into a car with a drunk driver.

I guess I'll tell DD that. If you're ever in a situation where an adult is texting while driving, ask that you be dropped immediately at a corner and call for a taxi. Although I'm not sure that's safe either (guess it depends on the corner).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT let it go without telling other mom "my daughter may be "safety girl" but she's not "dipshit mother".

OP here.

The driver was a dad. Not that it changes anything.

I guess there are two things to get in his face about: 1) Texting and driving in the first place, much less with teens who will be driving themselves in a few years. Great example, Dad! And 2) Cutting down a child. Who does that?

The other question is whether this is similar to being in a drunk driving situation where you tell your kid you can call me anytime, night or day, or take a taxi/uber and I'll pay for it before you get into a car with a drunk driver.

I guess I'll tell DD that. If you're ever in a situation where an adult is texting while driving, ask that you be dropped immediately at a corner and call for a taxi. Although I'm not sure that's safe either (guess it depends on the corner).

Yes, the dad shouldn't have acted like he did. I will say that this experience was a good learning lesson for your daughter. It's not the first time she's going to be mocked in life for wanting to do the "right" thing. I'm not positive she needs her mommy to now follow up on his comment. It's fair and necessary to comment on the no texting while driving, but not the comment. People are going to say rude things to your daughter and her mommy isn't always going to be around to rescue her.

No, having the dad drop her off whenever they happen to be is not a good idea. First off, any normal adult is going to refuse. It's probably way less safe for this to happen and more traumatizing for your child. Yes, texting and driving is dangerous, but it doesn't always result in a horrific car crash.

[Anonymous]

Yup, tough choices. Tell the wifey if you think he'll listen to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13.

Recently in a carpooling situation, she became nervous because the driver was frequently looking at his phone while driving (not just at red lights -- but while the car was in motion). DD is pretty assertive so she asked that he stop at least until she was out of the car. His response was to mock her as "safety girl" in front of all of her friends.

Besides the obvious that she will never ride in a car with these folks again, I'm curious how you would handle this. I told DD she did the right thing and next time she feels like her safety is being threatened to call one of us parents on the spot and asked to be picked up, even if it means being dropped off by the driver somewhere. But that doesn't really seem like a good solution.

Thoughts?

Are you positive this was mocking? He was probably defensive. I'm not certain his comment was that bad. I'd probably respond in a similar fashion. It seems weird that you're that upset someone might have said something a tiny bit rude to your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13.

Recently in a carpooling situation, she became nervous because the driver was frequently looking at his phone while driving (not just at red lights -- but while the car was in motion). DD is pretty assertive so she asked that he stop at least until she was out of the car. His response was to mock her as "safety girl" in front of all of her friends.

Besides the obvious that she will never ride in a car with these folks again, I'm curious how you would handle this. I told DD she did the right thing and next time she feels like her safety is being threatened to call one of us parents on the spot and asked to be picked up, even if it means being dropped off by the driver somewhere. But that doesn't really seem like a good solution.

Thoughts?

Are you positive this was mocking? He was probably defensive. I'm not certain his comment was that bad. I'd probably respond in a similar fashion. It seems weird that you're that upset someone might have said something a tiny bit rude to your daughter.

Your response to being called out for doing something wrong is to insult someone? Are you currently in therapy for that character defect?

[Anonymous]

I could see macho man being less sensitive to the comment than a woman. Yes, a little different scenario with a non- nurturer. He was probably joking/teasing than intending to mock. So he's thick and a texter both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13.

Recently in a carpooling situation, she became nervous because the driver was frequently looking at his phone while driving (not just at red lights -- but while the car was in motion). DD is pretty assertive so she asked that he stop at least until she was out of the car. His response was to mock her as "safety girl" in front of all of her friends.

Besides the obvious that she will never ride in a car with these folks again, I'm curious how you would handle this. I told DD she did the right thing and next time she feels like her safety is being threatened to call one of us parents on the spot and asked to be picked up, even if it means being dropped off by the driver somewhere. But that doesn't really seem like a good solution.

Thoughts?

Are you positive this was mocking? He was probably defensive. I'm not certain his comment was that bad. I'd probably respond in a similar fashion. It seems weird that you're that upset someone might have said something a tiny bit rude to your daughter.

Your response to being called out for doing something wrong is to insult someone? Are you currently in therapy for that character defect?

I'm not convinced calling someone "safety girl" is an insult. Is it? It could just be teasing. The young woman sounds overly sensitive if she's that upset about this comment. People are going to say way worse to her during the course of her life and her mom needs to help her grow up and not focus so much on some words a carpool dad says. The mom isn't doing any favors for her by making a huge deal out of the comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13.

Recently in a carpooling situation, she became nervous because the driver was frequently looking at his phone while driving (not just at red lights -- but while the car was in motion). DD is pretty assertive so she asked that he stop at least until she was out of the car. His response was to mock her as "safety girl" in front of all of her friends.

Besides the obvious that she will never ride in a car with these folks again, I'm curious how you would handle this. I told DD she did the right thing and next time she feels like her safety is being threatened to call one of us parents on the spot and asked to be picked up, even if it means being dropped off by the driver somewhere. But that doesn't really seem like a good solution.

Thoughts?

Are you positive this was mocking? He was probably defensive. I'm not certain his comment was that bad. I'd probably respond in a similar fashion. It seems weird that you're that upset someone might have said something a tiny bit rude to your daughter.

Your response to being called out for doing something wrong is to insult someone? Are you currently in therapy for that character defect?

Not pp. But lighten up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could see macho man being less sensitive to the comment than a woman. Yes, a little different scenario with a non- nurturer. He was probably joking/teasing than intending to mock. So he's thick and a texter both.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13.

Recently in a carpooling situation, she became nervous because the driver was frequently looking at his phone while driving (not just at red lights -- but while the car was in motion). DD is pretty assertive so she asked that he stop at least until she was out of the car. His response was to mock her as "safety girl" in front of all of her friends.

Besides the obvious that she will never ride in a car with these folks again, I'm curious how you would handle this. I told DD she did the right thing and next time she feels like her safety is being threatened to call one of us parents on the spot and asked to be picked up, even if it means being dropped off by the driver somewhere. But that doesn't really seem like a good solution.

Thoughts?

Are you positive this was mocking? He was probably defensive. I'm not certain his comment was that bad. I'd probably respond in a similar fashion. It seems weird that you're that upset someone might have said something a tiny bit rude to your daughter.

Your response to being called out for doing something wrong is to insult someone? Are you currently in therapy for that character defect?

I'm not convinced calling someone "safety girl" is an insult. Is it? It could just be teasing. The young woman sounds overly sensitive if she's that upset about this comment. People are going to say way worse to her during the course of her life and her mom needs to help her grow up and not focus so much on some words a carpool dad says. The mom isn't doing any favors for her by making a huge deal out of the comment.

How have I made a big deal about it? I haven't done anything.

Were you ever a 13 yo girl? How did you feel being ridiculed in front of others?

[Anonymous]

I would just tell your daughter that the parent was obviously embarassed to be called out on his action and made the comment as a way of deflecting. It's still wrong but it's a common immature tactic. Let it go. You have learned a good lesson about them.