S/O Defining an emotional affair
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
How do you define an emotional affair when you find your spouse in one? I guess I mean, what made it an emotional affair, not just a friendship? It is easy to figure out the physical cheating, but emotional cheating? The line seems fuzzy to me. I'm not in any way debating the existence of emotional affairs. Just questioning how I'd know.
|
Anonymous
You don't "find" your spouse in a friendship. Typically things are above board, transparent and s/he will not hide the friendship from you. EA can be include sexting/heavy flirting but can also be just a very tight bond in that your spouse shares much more with the other person than with you. Up to you which is worse and/or dealbreaker. |
Anonymous
| A friendship isn't usually secret, and usually doesn't take energy away from the primary relationship. |
Anonymous
| Most men would say these do not exist. |
Anonymous
| Read Shirley Glass Not Just Friends. Her doors and windows analogy helped me understand the secrecy and lack of transparency that puts behavior - sexual or not - in affair territory. If you are closing doors on your spouse and opening windows with another person, you've crossed the line. |
Anonymous
|
The lack of transparency. My fiancé and I both have friendships with members of the opposite sex but I would have no problem letting him read texts between us if my fiancé wanted to, and vice versa. Our opposite-sex friends have met each of us and we sometimes all hang out. We don't hide anything from each other and answer questions truthfully.
Even if a spouse is communicating with another person of the opposite sex in a seemingly innocent way--no sex talk, etc.--if they are sneaking around and hiding it, there are probably hidden feelings and guilt for good reason. |
Anonymous
|
Secrecy and finding out they told the AP that they loved them. |
Anonymous
| No such thing. |