Considering a dog for the first time in my life

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids (ages 7 & 12yo) who desperately want a dog. This has always been a non-starter for me simply because two boys and two parents w/FT jobs has been enough chaos for my family. And also because I was attacked by a dog when I was in middle school; it was a relative's aging schnauzer and I was hurt badly enough to need plastic surgery. As a result, I'm one of those people who instinctively moves away from any dog I see, and I cringe when I visit friends and their big dogs jump all over me.

All that said, the kids are beginning to wear me down, especially after visiting my husband's family out west (they have acreage and tons of animals.) Literally everyone we know has a dog, and we have a fenced-in yard near a popular walking/bike path. Both my job and my husband's have a lot of flexibility. I think a dog would benefit my family in terms of teaching some responsibility, forcing the tween out of his headphone world, and because even I can see that dogs bring happiness to most people!

I've scoured another recent post by a prospective new dog owner (http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/572969.page) and I'm considering taking the kids to some dog rescue events just to start to educate ourselves. I'd only consider a dog that is on the smaller side, doesn't shed much or at all, and doesn't evoke my residual schnauzer fears (e.g., not super barky/nippy.)

My question to you DCUMs is: can a non-dog person become a dog person? What else can I do to become less clueless? And any recommendations at all would be very much welcomed. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I was bit by a dog when I was a kid too and was therefore kinda nervous around dogs before we got ours. We now have a 3-year-old lab that we got from a breeder and a 1.5-year-old rescue dog. If you are at all less-than-confident around dogs, I'd highly suggest getting a puppy. When you raise them from the start you can shape their behavior and properly socialize them before they develop bad habits or fears, which may be hard to correct. I think labs tend to be the easiest in this regard since they really aim to please and have steady temperaments, but I know you said you prefer a smaller dog that doesn't shed much. My lab is 75-lbs and sheds like crazy, but he is my rock. My rescue is great for other reasons-- her intelligence is impressive and she is very loyal. But. I'm really glad she wasn't our first dog. Given that a lot of the behaviors we're dealing with didn't come through until she was comfortable with us, I wouldn't suggest getting an older rescue. I'm sure there are lots of people on this forum who would disagree. I would suggest researching different breeds and meeting lots of dogs at adoption events in order to understand what you are looking for. Don't let the rescue agency pressure you to make a decision before you are ready. Once you bring your new dog home, start obedience classes as soon as possible. That will help develop the dog's confidence and yours. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

A non-dog person can become a dog person, with the right dog around, sure.

I would have each of your kids walk a neighbor's dog, once a day, every day, for three months before they can have a dog of their own.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would not feel pressured into getting a dog if you don't want one. Your kids will survive without a dog and there are plenty of other ways to learn responsibility.

We recently got our first dog, a standard poodle puppy, from a breeder. My kids are younger than yours but we too have a very good setup for a dog and I really wanted one (had one as a kid). We thought a lot about what kind of dog we wanted and whether to go with a breeder or a shelter/rescue. For someone in your situation, which isn't that different than ours, there are pros to getting a slightly older dog (much less overwhelming, less nippy because they're out of the teething stage) and then there are cons (unknowns of a dog's past and what personality traits might emerge over time). In our case we decided the craziness of a puppy was worth the upsides, given the dog novices that we are.

In addition to considering what breed, what age, and where to get the dog, also think about how it will fit into your life. Do your kids have lots of after school activities or will they realistically be available to walk the dog, especially the older one? Does your family spend long stretches of time away from the house on the weekend? A dog, especially at the beginning, really upends your life and can be quite a shock to the system.

I would also temper your expectations about how much the kids will help. Consider how you'll feel if much of the burden falls on you, which it may after an initial honeymoon period.

I'm not trying to talk you out of it--we love our little guy more each day, and he's been a great addition to the family--but it's a BIG life change and an enduring one.

[Anonymous]

Immediate pp here. I also found this site a helpful resource:

http://www.akc.org/dog-breeds/

It's from the American Kennel Club and describes all different dog breeds, including issues like grooming and energy level.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I grew up with cats, and our 2 kids wore us down to get a dog a few years ago. We love our dog, and can't imagine living without him, BUT, we got a puppy, and it was A LOT of work the first year. I would recommend getting a dog who is 3 years old.

[Anonymous]

I was also bitten by our family dog when I was a child (a yippy terrier) and needed plastic surgery. So I was not a dog person for a long time after that. After DH and I married he started lobbying for a dog, specifically a lab and after spending some time with them I agreed to it. Now I'm definitely a dog person. But, still hate terriers. I would actually recommended a larger breed that is known for having a more mellow temperament (smaller dogs IME tend to be less mellow than a lab) and as a PP recommended, start with a puppy (or at least no more than 1 year old) so you can train it. Big dogs do not have to jump up on people if you train them well.

[Anonymous]

I think Shihtzus might be a good breed for you. Small, hair instead of fur (so grooming required), placid and laid back.

I have a Lab and think they are the best dogs. You could yank a yummy bone out of her mouth and she would never bite you. However, you got accept the fact that shedding is a what it is -- endless and a fact of life.

[Anonymous]

I would recommend a Cavalier King Charles spaniel. Our neighbor has one -- absolutely the sweetest little love sponge. I would try to find an older puppy or young adult since they are easier to deal with at the start.

[Anonymous]

My husband was a non-dog person before he met me... and I had a dog. But we just adopted our first dog as a family and you just have to know how much work it is. Someone once remarked that we want pets who are animated stuffed animals-- who play when we want to and then leave us alone. But dogs aren't like that at all. They need lots of attention, you can't leave them alone for long stretches of time, they make noise at night and sometimes when you're gone.
That's not meant to deter you-- people with dogs probably are happier in the long run (we certainly are). And the unconditional love you get every time you walk into the house can't be beat. But understand you're talking about an enormous lifestyle change, at least at first. Really think about whether you're up for that.