Pets and putting down

[Anonymous]

Pets and putting down. This is an ethical question . My husband and I have a dog that is 14 1/2 years old and has had lymphoma for two years . The dog is miserably uncomfortable . He constantly paces pants pees, and poops in the house and in general just doesn't seem to feel good . He won't eat, any staulks all people . Is it on ethical to have a traveling vet put the dog down at home while my husband is at work and my kids are at school . They can't bear the thought of putting him down so therefore I have not taken him to the vet to do this . My husband does not believe it's the time yet no matter how much I point out the dog is failing . He agrees but says not Yet. I would rather put him down earlier than later because I think he's suffering and I wonder if it would be easier to have them think that he fell asleep advice please .

[Anonymous]

Are you saying that you would have the vet put down the dog when your kids and husband are away so you can just tell them he died in his sleep? Or, are you saying that you would tell them, but it would be easier for them to not be there? There is a big difference.

[Anonymous]

The way I see it, the bigger issue is that the pet is living in distress and needs to be put down. Any way you get that done sooner rather than later is the ethically right thing to do.

Therefore, if you don't want to battle your husband, just have the traveling vet come or take your pet to the vet--get it done.

Your husband is being selfish, he just wants to prolong the inevitable so he doesn't feel bad. Or so he doesn't see himself as the but-for (proximate cause) of the dog's death.

Just circumnavigate his philosophical struggle, as it's been your distraction and slowing you down. Go do the humane thing.

[Anonymous]

I'm saying I would like to do it while they're not at home because the dog is beyond normal suffering

[Anonymous]

Your DH would be suspicious and hate you for this. Go to the vet together and have a discussion.

[Anonymous]

We waited too long for our dog. Don't do that. Tell your husband it's time. Ask his preference.. take the dog in, or have the vet come while him and the kids aren't there.

I finally just looked at my husband and said "It's time. We can't force the dog to suffer so we don't have to anymore."

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely do this. Your dog needs an advocate at this point.

When my dog had lymphoma, on his last day of life when he was crashing we took him to the vet. (For the record, he was not nearly in as much distress as your dog, but he was crashing).

We were wishy-washy and asked if the vet could give him fluids so that he could perk up and have a few more weeks.

The vet said "I have to be an advocate for Larlo. It's time for Larlo to go. He's suffering and it's not in his best interests to be perked up and continue on."

Your dog is suffering. Be his advocate.

[Anonymous]

Please do it sooner if youre dog is suffering. Putting down my first dog was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I had to do what was right for her not for me.
Our vet came to the house to do it, It cost slightly over $100, not sure how much it would normally cost but having him to it at the house was priceless to me.

I dont know if you should tell your kids ahead of time or not, or your DH. I couldnt lie about something like that for the rest of my life so for me personally I would have to tell them and give them time to say goodbye.

[Anonymous]

It would be hard for me to be the only one who knew the truth while going through the experience. I could lie to my kids since it may make it a bit easier for them, but it would be much harder to lie to my husband. If I put myself in your husband's shoes, and I found out, I'd be pissed. That said, I would have no trouble saying, "DH, Rover is suffering and it's time to put him down. We're being selfish by not letting him go. I can't let this go on any longer and I'm having the vet come tomorrow." One of my friends was struggling with the guilt of having to put down her cat because she could no longer afford dialysis and the cat was no longer eating or drinking. The one thing that seemed to help her let go is that I pointed out (which we all know) is that pets are "here and now" beings. They aren't hanging on to see the birth of their grandchild or hoping for a cure. They don't feel the guilt of leaving loved ones behind and they aren't afraid to die. They live life to the fullest and give unconditional love. When it's time for them to let go, they don't have any regrets.

[Anonymous]

Take him to the vet with your husband and have it done. Give dh the opportunity to say goodbye. I'm sorry that you are going through this.