4 year old DS with ASD aggressive at school, but not at home, at a loss of what to do

[Anonymous]

Hi, My 4 year old DS with ASD has had a lot of changes this year. We moved in August, he started a new school last week. He's in a mixed inclusion classroom (both special needs and nurotypical) with two teachers, and two aides. He says he loves school, is happy to get on the bus and happy when he gets off. He has been in school for two years, so this nothing new, but the class is bigger than previous years.

He has a very hard time with transitions and things that are not preferred activities.

Today his teacher called me and said he was kicking, hitting and slapping the teachers and asking to go home. She said it was just an FYI and they don't want us to worry (they why call?) but I'm not sure what to do. He doesn't kick, slap or hit us at home, or when he's with other adults/authority figures. He has been in school for just over a week, so it could most definitely be a transition issue.

She said if it continues, they will add some behavior supports into his IEP. We asked him about it when he got home and he said he wasn't having a good day because it was cloudy and he wanted to come home. I flat out told the teacher I wasn't sure how to handle this because he doesn't do these things at home and we don't see this behavior. Frankly, we have no idea what to do. I also feel bad for the teacher because she is really caring and very supportive and the last thing she needs is my kid slapping her.

I'm wondering if he had a really off day today or not. And, if this continues, what kind of therapy do we seek for him?

[Anonymous]

Take things a day at a time. Work with his teachers. Talk to him about school and about his behavior and reinforce that he can't hit/kick/slap other people. Support the behavioral plan being worked out. Don't get ahead of yourself. He doesn't need a new therapy or new treatment or new approach.

His teacher wanted to keep you informed. Don't catastrophize.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. I'm having a hard time because we had a very, very, very bad experience at a private school to start out the year (short version: he and we were abused by the administration) so I am gun shy. These teachers and administration are already 200% more supportive, so I need to calm down.

The teacher did stress that he wasn't in trouble, and this was not out of the norm, but they want to document it so they can place supports in his IEP, so that's good.

[Anonymous]

I just posted a thread about how I was called because my 4 year old also in an inclusion classroom knocked over a tower and was Bugging but not hurting people, and the call was irritated and vaguely threatening in nature. So, your school sounds awesome. Can I move where you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just posted a thread about how I was called because my 4 year old also in an inclusion classroom knocked over a tower and was Bugging but not hurting people, and the call was irritated and vaguely threatening in nature. So, your school sounds awesome. Can I move where you are?

There's no need for a phone call for this. These are normal things four year olds do! Sometimes I just want to shake people and say "give the kids a chance! Let them play! Let them learn!"

[Anonymous]

Have an outside consultant do a functional behavioral analysis. Get the IEP supports he needs. Stop dwelling on the past. It's in the past. Focus on what your kid needs now.

[Anonymous]

What supports does your child have for transitions? Another thing that stood out for me on this was when you said that this is his first experience of the class be bigger. This could be overwhelming for your child from a sensory perspective or maybe the larger class has less structure than he is used to.

The behavior is happening only at school, so in my mind, the school environment is the trigger. You have to have an FBA done to get to the root of what is triggering him in the environment.

It concerns me when schools have kids with ASDs yet they hold off on taking the necessary steps right away to put supports in place for kids with known issues with transitions, sensory issues, etc.

Please insist that an FBA be conducted. Ask if they plan to bring in the Autism Unit to observe and make recommendations. These are NOT things that the school wants you to know to ask for. But to be the best advocate, you have to know what your options are.

I have a similar child and my request for the Autism Unit was brushed off for months -- until my child exhibited (for the first time ever), similar types of behaviors. It's heartbreaking to watch an otherwise well-bahved child resort to desperate measures like hitting bc they are struggling or overwhelmed. I feel your pain, OP. But the behaviors won't stop unless and until the triggers are identified and supported. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What supports does your child have for transitions? Another thing that stood out for me on this was when you said that this is his first experience of the class be bigger. This could be overwhelming for your child from a sensory perspective or maybe the larger class has less structure than he is used to.

The behavior is happening only at school, so in my mind, the school environment is the trigger. You have to have an FBA done to get to the root of what is triggering him in the environment.

It concerns me when schools have kids with ASDs yet they hold off on taking the necessary steps right away to put supports in place for kids with known issues with transitions, sensory issues, etc.

Please insist that an FBA be conducted. Ask if they plan to bring in the Autism Unit to observe and make recommendations. These are NOT things that the school wants you to know to ask for. But to be the best advocate, you have to know what your options are.

I have a similar child and my request for the Autism Unit was brushed off for months -- until my child exhibited (for the first time ever), similar types of behaviors. It's heartbreaking to watch an otherwise well-bahved child resort to desperate measures like hitting bc they are struggling or overwhelmed. I feel your pain, OP. But the behaviors won't stop unless and until the triggers are identified and supported. Good luck.

Hi, OP here, yes this is his first experience with a bigger class. Last year he had 8 children. This year he has 19 in his class. This is the next logical step for him, as the class that precedes this one is mostly non-verbal kids who are in need of significantly more support. It is like he is too advanced for that class, but not quite ready for this one. I think that eventually he will be fine, but it will take him more than a week.


I am going to talk to the teacher about the FBA and the Autism Unit. Thanks for this information.It breaks my heart to hear about these behaviors at school, when he is fine at school and other places. Also, it makes me sad for him because he seems to think school is going great. He leaves for it happy, comes home happy, talks about all the things they do.

[Anonymous]

Also -- make sure you document this incident. Send a follow-up email thanking the teacher for calling about the incident, summarize what what happened and add any requests you are making. Always get things in writing.

This is pre-k. How are 19 kids in a pre-k class?!? Is this in DC or MCPS? MCPS has the autism unit. Not sure what DC calls their group that handles this. 19 kids for pre-k is a ton! MY kid was in an MCPS pre-k with an IEP and there were only 10 kids max there.