How to potty train a 4yo who won't sit on the toilet?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| From what I can tell, my 4yo hates the sensation of passing stool. She withholds stool (encopresis) for which she is on a special diet as well as stool softeners, probiotics, etc. She also absolutely refuses to sit on the toilet. She wears diapers or pull ups and doesn't seem to care or notice that classmates and cousins her age do not. She attends PEP, and they say she will sit on the toilet but does not actually use the bathroom. She is showing absolutely no interest in this area - at home she even refuses to just sit on the potty, but I would really like to get her potty-trained so that she can go to regular KG next year and for many other reasons. She gets OT, but her OT does not really offer much help in this area. Does anyone specialize in kids with this issue? She has a diagnosis of ASD. |
Anonymous
| Does she do ABA? |
Anonymous
| No, she doesn't. How does one get ABA? Is there someone you could recommend? I mentioned this once to her doctor who thought she was too mild on the spectrum for ABA, but I am at my wit's end and would love any help in this regard. |
Anonymous
|
Will she pee on a toilet?
Do you have a small child toilet she can use? They are less intimidating. Maybe if you sense that she needs to go, have her sit on the little toilet with the pull-up on to start. |
Anonymous
I could've written this post myself. Dealing with the exact same issue with a 4.5 year old. |
Anonymous
| Put her in underwear and put her on the toilet every 45 minutes to an hour. Be really really consistent. |
Anonymous
| Major bribes? Many kids (including NT kids) are not intrinsically motivated to potty train and need incentives. |
Anonymous
| To 14:49, does your child have ASD? How are you addressing the issue? I am OP and have tried all these usual things - this is my 4th kid... It must be the ASD/sensory issues b/c all siblings were fully potty-trained by 2yo...I know all kids are different, but she will not respond to bribes/rewards and doesn't care that we went to the store to buy her own little potty, etc...I gave it a full rest for over year thinking if there was no pressure and no talk about it then she would just want to do it on her own - but no such luck! I think we need some professional input to help us - maybe even ABA. |
Anonymous
| To the person who said put her in underwear and put her on the toilet every 45 minutes - this is not realistic for a child who becomes hysterical when you try to put her on the potty. She has some huge sensory aversion. |
Anonymous
| Soft potty seat insert might help. |
Anonymous
|
Who diagnosed her with ASD? A behav ped? If so, they should be able to help you with the ABA decision v. a psychologist, etc. They also might know someone who specializes in potty issues, particularly with ASD kids (I have an HFA kid myself).
Did you ask your OT for referrals? If your behav. ped and OT do not have good referrals, you could contact Dan Shapiro and see if he could steer you in the right direction. Other ideas, FWIW We used the baby bjorn potties. I hate giving my kid candy but I have succumbed now, learning that M&Ms, Skittles and Tootsie Roll Pops achieve a lot (I gave my sitter a bag of tootsie pops to use if he stays in the green zone all day, one tootsie pop). Some people I know used M&Ms and Skittles. Maybe you have tried this already. Another friend would give 50 cents for every poop and 25 cents for every attempt (the attempt being 15-20 min. after every meal or snack like the gastros want you to do to stimulate the reflex to make you poop). You can mark it down on a table or give her real quarters in a bank that keeps count (Amazon has them). Then she gets to go buy something with the dough. Yet another friend went to the No Accident guy down in NC and did a nightly enema - really worked for them. |
Anonymous
|
My son's OT and psychologist, who were great at so many things, were useless with potty training. This is the book I found most helpful:
The Potty Journey: Guide to Toilet Training Children with Special Needs, Including Autism and Related Disorders Using the book I potty trained him myself. I did have to go big with rewards...like, individual Thomas trains, not stickers, after successful pee and poop. I wish I knew someone to refer you to because I think your daughter's encopresis may make it more difficult. |
Anonymous
Agree with the underwear, but take her to the toilet every 2-3 hours. No one has to go every 45 minutes. Have her sit on the toilet 10 minutes after every meal--at least breakfast and dinner. No longer or you'll make constipation worse. This is a behavioral issue, OP that's why some folks are suggesting ABA or a behavioral therapist to work on this. You're tying yourself in knots buying pull-ups, adding special diets, etc. Focus on the behavior and the schedule. Bribes are fine too. Praise, points, stickers for sitting on the toilet whether or not she does anything. |
Anonymous
| Is there nothing on earth she wants? If there's something, use that. I found with my HFA child that "regular" bribes like stickers did nothing, but that he was very, very motivated to get a huge, expensive toy. It cost a lot, but probably less than hiring a professional potty-trainer. |
Anonymous
| You can do aba for something discrete like this, and maybe some other behaviors you need to change. I doubt honestly and I mean this very kindly that she is too mild for aba if she's not potty trained at 4.5. We are doing it for my kid with severe add and it's been great. |