very depressed: first ivf failed

[Anonymous]

Blood test negative today. Almost cried when heard the news in office. I am 40, only three eggs retrieved, two transferred. Not sure if I have the courage to continue, with all the needles...

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain. I had two failed IVF's at age 40 and 41.

It does get easier over time. I took a few months in between to see if I wanted to continue. We are now 6 months past the last one and I'm thinking of trying one more time. The pregnancy rates about 20% for our age depending on certain factors. It HAS to work sometime, I keep thinking maybe this time there will be a good egg.

Hugs for you. Take time to yourself to cry about it. Do somethng you've put off because your life was so scheduled by needles, sonograms, and the unknowing of the exact day of transfer.

Keep praying...

[Anonymous]

Oh I'm so sorry. Give yourself time to heal and take a fresh look. You did get three eggs - that's better than none and more than many. The needles will be easier next time.

Big Hug

[Anonymous]

I'm very, very sorry.
I had a failed cycle as well (age 34, ideal cycle, transferred 2 perfect blasts). IVF is not a guarantee at any age. The odds of it working might be slighty better at a younger age but it is still such a crap shoot. Ugh.

It was the hardest thigng I've ever gone through. However, the pain/disappointment really did dim with time. Even a week or two later I was feeling MUCH better and was ready to make the next plan.

I hope you find peace and a clarity about what to do next!

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Our first one failed too and it's such a disappointment. We thankfully had a long trip scheduled for a few weeks later and it was so good to get away for a bit, drink lots of wine and do lots of fun things that I hadn't done during the cycle or wouldn't have done during a first trimester. It helped clear my head a bit. I hope you can take some time for yourself before feeling too pressured about next steps.

[Anonymous]

This is why I think it is a shame that there are no clinics in the area with good labs that will do mini-IVF - you probably could have gotten the 3 eggs doing a mini-IVF protocol, with much fewer injections. That would have been easier on your body and your emotional state, and made it easier to keep going after a failed cycle.

I know its a blow now, but you'll find the strength to keep going. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Even though you did not get pregnant this cycle, please don't view it as a total failure. Your doctors will have learned about how you responded to the protocol you used, you have learned your own responses to those drugs, your tolerance levels, and, most importantly, how to be a better advocate for your health and pregnancy chances the next time you attempt a cycle. I had many BFNs before I felt empowered to demand certain changes to my protocol (wasting a lot of time and money). I ultimately switched doctors and clinics as well as cycle protocols and came home with two beautiful babies. Don't give up, use what you have learned from this cycle to make the next one a success. And be good to yourself in the meantime. (((hugs)))

[Anonymous]

OP here. I thank every PP for taking the time to respond and for your support - this means a lot to me. IVF has been a lonely process for me. I cannot discuss it at work, my friends are happy moms with multiple kids, and my husband, although supportive, failed to apprehend the physical pain and emotional swing I had to go through. This site has been a support group for me to share stories and seek advice.

Looking at the bright side - I had my first latte in 3 months, indulged myself with sushi, and opened a bottle of wine. I will take a month to decide if I will enter the next round.

God bless you all.

[Anonymous]

OP - you should know that if you try a new protocol the next time around you may not feel the effects of the drugs as much. I used lupron the first time and it was awful; the next cycle we went with Ganirelix and that was much easier.

[Anonymous]

OP -- I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN! have you tried going to a support group? I've found them to be very helpful (I also don't really have any friends who can relate). Also, have you talked to your RE about what s/he will try differently next time? I found talking to my RE during the 2WW helped me see this as a process and that even if my first IVF doesn't work, they learned a lot that they'll use for the next round.

[Anonymous]

Me too!! I'm 40. Just found out 1st IVF failed today. But I already knew. Tranferred 3 embies-2 perfect. I felt like I went crazy during the whole process-especially at the end. Hang in there. Should we do it again. It'll sure be worthit if it works!!!