Calling all super-organized people...
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Anonymous
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I need help. I was always just organized enough to get by for most of my life. But my life and work were not that complicated. But now with young kids, a house to run, and a family to manage, I feel like I'm always a mess. I'm the absent minded professor, except the professor part. I had a traumatic loss at one point in my life, and ever since then, I feel like the executive functioning part of my brain went dead.
I leave my kids' stuff everywhere I go. I leave the house forgetting at least one thing every single trip. I have not been able to consistently plan my meals for the week for more than one week. I am horrible at keeping track of our budget and finances. I am the mom who forgets about school events and field trips. I forget about doctor appointments. I have no consistent schedule. Sometimes I fall asleep on the couch at 8:30 at night and other times I am up until 1 in the morning. I cannot multitask for the life of me, and I feel that has been my downfall. Because while I'm taking care of kids, I just cannot seem to muster enough concentration to do anything other than repetitive menial tasks. I need some tips. A system. Or a book. I want to peer into your brain and see what your day looks like. How you start your day. How you end your day. I'm desperate to change my life. |
Anonymous
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You need to write yourself lists and then check off the things on the list as you do them.
You also need to devise a meal plan and post that on the fridge door. If you take a day to plan and plot and write everything out, you should be good for a while. Its boring but its about establishing set routines so things don't get forgotten. |
Anonymous
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I work tomorrow, my kid was in bed by 8 and I have just gotten in bed. My car keys are on the counter right next to my wallet and phone which I always charge in the same place. I have packed my kids lunch and mine and they are both in the fridge ready to grab in the morning. My work clothes are literally laid out so I can get dressed in the almost dark while DW sleeps. DDs clothes are also laid out, with her shoes next to them so DW doesn't have to hunt for them when she leaves the house. This makes our mornings smooth and stress free. Anything that needs to go in the car in the morning goes next to the car keys the night before.
I get paid every two weeks so that's when I pay my bills. So I'm only paying bills twice a month and not constantly trying to remember what's due. Do you have a calendar? If not you need one for appts etc. I even write down the days DD has show and tell so I don't forget. There's no shame in writing stuff down. |
Anonymous
| Adderall |
Anonymous
This is great. How long does prepping all of this take each night? |
Anonymous
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First of all you need a calendar!
- It doesn't matter if it's on your computer, phone or a paper one on the wall or desk. - It needs to be accessible where you have your phone so you can write all appointments down. - Go to your kids' school website and write down all events though the year. - Put down any regularly scheduled appointments (kids' activities, workout, etc). - Refer to the calendar often - every evening to remember what you have the next day. Refer to it every day to remind yourself what is happening the next day. I use my Apple calendar and sync it to my phone (still haven't really mastered the cloud so I tend not to use it - that's next for me). If you're running around often then a phone and computer calendar is probably best for you. After you get your life in the calendar you need to re-organize your home. You should insist on help from your family for this and it will probably take several days/weekends if your house is that out of order. Also consider hiring a professional organizer to put systems in place. Everything should have a place and it should be put back in that place. Sometimes making sure it gets put back into the right place is hard with a busy schedule, but at least it has a place and you can take some time on the weekends to re-organize. You don't say how old your kids are, but you can start making them take responsibility at a young age for keeping their belongings in order. Kids are usually good and appreciate order, but without a system in place they will never learn. Give them a place for their backpacks, lunch boxes, shoes, etc. Even if it's simply that the backpacks go in a particular corner in the kitchen they are in a designated spot. Once you get a better handle on your calendar and home organization you will feel less anxious which is probably throwing off your sleep patterns. Get things in order and then force yourself to go to your room and get in bed at a reasonable time and do it every night. No more sitting on the couch watching TV until late. Force yourself into your bed. It will take some time for your body to adjust to the routine, but it will definitely help in the long run. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Google calendar and everything get Putin it. If it's not on the calendar it doesn't happen
Routines. Everything has a place and they always have to be returned to that place when not in use. Lists, lots of lists... |
Anonymous
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For the calendar, everything goes into my phone. I use the google calendar feature. I can share and event with DH or anyone else.
When the school calendar comes out, I put EVERYTHING into the calendar. I only skip things that don't apply to us, like 6th grade meetings when I have a 5th grader or International Night because we don't like it and don't go to it. This way, when the music teacher texts and says to be there at 6:30 on the 23rd for the concert, I look at my calendar and see that I had it at 6:30 on the 24th. Check the school calendar, text her back and she corrects herself that it is in fact the 24th. Add in field trips, poetry notices and special lunch days as you get the notification from school. When sports schedules come in, I do the same thing. Weekend events all get shared with DH so he knows when we can all go to something, when we divide and conquer and when we need to find a carpool for kid #3! It also helps when we schedule work travel. When you schedule a 3 pm sunday departure on the same weekend that we have 3 overlapping lacrosse games, you also call the sitter! With everything on the calendar, it makes it easier to tell whether one child can go to a birthday party as soon as the invitation comes in. RSVP, add to calendar and put a gift into the amazon cart. We have a set of Oliver;s labels that go on things that go out of the house, like lacrosse sticks, water bottles, lunch tupperwares and rain boots. Ours say "The Fletcher Family" instead of Jack Fletcher or Katie Fletcher because we hand a lot down and it is just easier for me. I do meal plans by the week. When we run out of something, I put it on my grocery app -- currently into AnyList. You can share it if your spouse ever goes to the store.... Put as many bills as possible on autopay. For the rest, schedule two nights per month to pay whatever else comes in. Work on a laundry schedule, too, Make your kids help. I wash clothes that are 1. in the hamper and 2. right side two. Anything else gets left on the floor or set aside in a pile in the laundry room to wait for the next load. (wet, inside out tween soccer socks are gross.) |
Anonymous
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Come up with a list of easy and good recipes and then make a meal plan for several weeks, alternating these recipes. I make a lot of soups and stews which can be made ahead and last for several days. I will often make a few of these on a Sunday for the week. It helps that dinner is already done and I may only need to make something simple to add to it.
If you haven't done it already start using online banking. We have all of our utilities set ups for automatic payments so we never forget to pay one. Our other bills are set up with online banking when we get them in the mail. When I get the credit card bill I set-up payment for the day I want and it is already done. I don't need to look at it again. We do the same as the PP by setting out everything that needs to go with us in the morning - backpacks are already packed (my kids do that), all paperwork I need to take is next to my phone so that I don't forget them. We don't go as far as setting out clothes, but my kids are a little older so they can handle getting dressed by themselves in the morning. We've gotten it down to about 10 minutes to make sure everything needed is there. Someone else said it too - routines are important. And communication of these routines with your family. You don't need to take on all the responsibility yourself! Get your kids to handle stuff, get your spouse to do some things. It should be a family effort to be organized, on time and settled. It's often too much for just one person to take on themselves. Enlist your family! |
Anonymous
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In addition to a calendar, I find the Reminders function on my iPhone really invaluable. All little things I need to remember to do go in there. Then you can set each item to have a reminder at a certain time or location.
When I have a free minute I scroll through my list looking for items I can do and check off. |
Anonymous
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OP here and dear heaven you guys are amazing. I've already implemented the lists. I started a meal plan list, a shopping list, and a weekly schedule. I use calendars - both the apple calendar which syncs to my phone and also a paper calendar. The two calendar system often makes me miss stuff, because sometimes I forget to write it in both.
And to the PP who described what your day/night looks like - wow, so impressive and so enlightening for me!!! thank you. I haven't had a chance to read through all the responses in detail, but I will tomorrow. Because I'm also taking the advice of going to bed at a reasonable hour. Thank you all and will be back tomorrow! |
Anonymous
| Get a two year calendar. I use a checkbook sized one. Go to the website of your kids' school and record all the important events in your calendar. Include birthdays and doctor appointments. Look at it every day. Get a piece of paper. Write down a to do list or whatever you need to remember. Check these often and cross off or check things when done. |
Anonymous
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I'm not organized, but I have some tips on thing that have helped. A launch pad, where you get things set for the morning. I have hooks in the closet by the door, with my keys, purse, work laptop. I order meals from Dinner Done. Frozen healthy meals prepped, so I don't have to meal plan or shop (as much). Some organization, housecleaning books for people with ADHD. Onebis Organized for Life. I don't know if I have it, but it resonates with me. Pay for help (something I don't do, but would like!).
Most of all. Give yourself a break. It's hard with kids and work. This may be a temporary thing. |
Anonymous
yes. life changing |