8th grader says she hates school

[Anonymous]

MY DD is 13 and says she hates school this year. She is a straight A Student, has many friends, is not bullied, and never complained before about going to school. She says she wants to stay home and do an online school. She hasn't given me a good reason aside from school starting too early (7:20)-- bus comes at 6:45. I'm not entertaining the idea of an online school, but can't figure out why my daughter is so negative this year. Is it the age? Hormones? She doesn't seem depressed or anxious. She is a bit moody at times,but nothing out of the ordinary for a 13 year old girl from what I can tell. I have an older son and he was more even tempered at 13. I asked her if she'd like to talk to anyone else about this (a professional) and she doesn't. I can't figure it out. Asked if she was interested in transferring to another school or applying to TJ to see her response. She's not interested and says she at least has friends at her school. Would you be concerned? Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I was a very sleep sensitive young teen, and getting early just made me sad. Does she tell you this all hours of the day, or only in the morning. Does she seem tired?

[Anonymous]

She is tired some days. Says she can't fall asleep at night sometimes. I'm trying to get her to exercise more so she will be tired at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is tired some days. Says she can't fall asleep at night sometimes. I'm trying to get her to exercise more so she will be tired at night.

She has to get up too early. Could you drive her? She's sleep deprived.

[Anonymous]

Yep. The middle school start times suck. My DD would agree with your DD on that. And is incredibly cranky as a result-- especially as the week goes on. I'm hoping as she gets back into the swing of things and adjusts to the early wake up, things will improve. In the meantime, I'm driving her to school. We can leave the house at 7:00 vs. her leaving at 6:20 to catch a 6:30 bus. Maybe give it a few weeks for the new school year to settle in? Some kids do not transition well.

[Anonymous]

Tackle the sleep issue. The early start times ruined my health for years. No one took it too seriously because I managed to hold my grades together. There are treatments available today that I didn't have access to 20 years ago. My GP put me on Prozac - I was only depressed because I had serious issues with waking early. It was also "fun" when relatives and teachers called me out for laziness when I was desperately struggling. Sleep isn't a failure of willpower.

[Anonymous]

Yes that is a VERY long day! I can see why she's unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Many of the middle schoolers are walking around like zombies. They have a hard time falling asleep, then waking up. They don't have great eating schedules either- mine doesn't want to eat anything at 6, then has lunch at 12:50 some days at 11:10 other days.

There are so many behavior problems too, I think everyone is just exhausted including teachers.

My DD goes to bed early except in nights where her activity goes late. No phone in bedroom- barely any device time at all. Plenty of exercise. It's just too early.

[Anonymous]

OP. We drive her when we can but we still need to leave by 7:05. Sometimes she insists on taking the bus. Thanks for the responses

[Anonymous]

No joke I think hating school is a trend. I follow my daughter's social media and it's a never ending stream of kids bitching about school.

[Anonymous]

Is this a public school that starts at 7:20?? What is her bedtime? Are you making sure she has no caffeine including chocolate in the afternoon? That can affect sleep. My son hated school in 8th grade. His school in MCPS really cranked up the workload and common core algebra was a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No joke I think hating school is a trend. I follow my daughter's social media and it's a never ending stream of kids bitching about school.

If that's a trend it's been going on for at least the 45 years I've been on this earth.

[Anonymous]

At least consider the online school for HS. A friend's DD had a great experience. The school was based in FL. She studied many subjects not offered in most public schools here like Japanese. She was able to start college at 16. Had her MS at 21. Spent two years in Asia. Is now back working on her Ph.D.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of the middle schoolers are walking around like zombies. They have a hard time falling asleep, then waking up. They don't have great eating schedules either- mine doesn't want to eat anything at 6, then has lunch at 12:50 some days at 11:10 other days.

There are so many behavior problems too, I think everyone is just exhausted including teachers.

My DD goes to bed early except in nights where her activity goes late. No phone in bedroom- barely any device time at all. Plenty of exercise. It's just too early.

I'm a teacher and yes, I'm exhausted despite kicking my caffeine habit and going to bed at 8:45. I can't eat in the morning either (I have gastroparesis and the nausea is worst then.) I allow my students to eat non-nut, non-messy snacks in my morning classes. See if your doctor will write a note for your DD to have a snack at 9 am.

[Anonymous]

The excessively early middle school start times are to blame for this. Ours starts at 7:30 and my daughter is a zombie. No electronics at all in her room at night, bedtime at 9pm, and she's still exhausted. She said she just lays there until around 11pm, when she finally falls asleep. It's painful waking her up at 5:45.

Nothing more to offer, OP, except that I feel your pain and can't wait for the middle school years to be over.