ISO tips to avoid yelling at your kid in the morning
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have three young elementary school kids I need to mobilize each morning. I try to be organized, eg., picking out clothes the night before, making lunches beforehand, packing backpacks, refilling water bottles, etc., all in advance. But I can't seem to get my kids to follow an entire morning routine without incident, which brings out the demons in me and makes me yell each morning.
For example, I'll be cleaning up the breakfast and send the kids to get dressed, only to find them in PJs watching iPad videos; or I'll tell my youngest to use the bathroom, and she'll instead run into the other room laughing and hide, or I'll tell my oldest to put on her shoes, but instead she'll run upstairs to search for a favorite necklace. Examples like this happen throughout the morning. So, how do other people get through the morning without yelling? The yelling's not good for them or me... |
Anonymous
|
Whoever is ready first gets to control the the music on the way to school?
If everyone is ready by whatever time then everyone gets a hershey kiss or whatever. If everyone is ready five mornings in a row, then on Fridays they all get ice cream. Incentivize them. |
Anonymous
| Checklist with a list of what they need to do each morning on the fridge-- one per kid. They check off as the get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, fill their own water bottles, etc. anyone who complete their checklist on time and without hassle get a sticker for the day. 5 stickers earned in a week means a weekend treat. Worked beautifully for my two ADHD kids. 7th grade DD still has a list on the fridge. (Plus a "do you have your...backpack, lunch, glasses, homework, etc. list posted at her morning "launchpad."). No stickers or treats anymore. But it keeps her on track and makes sure nothing gets forgotten. |
Anonymous
| No screens in the mornings. Hide the remotes and the ipad. Keep tabs on the youngest one and make sure peeing gets done. Get up earlier so you feel less rushed. |
Anonymous
What time is bedtime OP? Can you move it earlier so the kids wake up earlier? |
Anonymous
|
Posted checklist that you develop together
Abundant praise for each step following it through until it's second nature No screens whatsoever And if you feel yourself about to yell, make yourself smile and sing |
Anonymous
| They need to be dressed with teeth brushed before they can have breakfast. You can use the time that they are brushing and dressing to get breakfast on the table for everyone. Everyone needs to be at the door at 8:25 (or whenever) every morning. Sharp. Give a 5 minute, 3 minute, 1 minute warning. They will get in the car in whatever state they are in sharply at 8:25. If that means they didn't go to the bathroom, they will have to go at school. If someone's shoes aren't on, throw the shoes in the car and they can put them on in the car or at the bus stop or once they get to school. Don't be afraid to step in sometimes too. Your kids shouldn't expect you to find their shoes for them every day, but if you're in a hurry and the kids aren't focusing or are sluggish, it's okay to step in. |
Anonymous
| OP, I feel your pain. I go through this as well and it is very challenging. The responses are helpful. |
Anonymous
This. And if sending them upstairs to brush teeth derails the routine, keep toothbrushes in the main level bathroom. |
Anonymous
I'm the PP that said teeth brushed before breakfast. I forgot to say this. We do exactly this as well. We keep kids' toothbrushes and toothpaste in the powder room. I try and move them back upstairs when we have guests.  It's been a huge time saver and minimizes kids getting side tracked upstairs.
|
Anonymous
|
Agree with PP's no screens in the morning. Although if you want to use it as an incentive to get ready, they can watch it sitting by the front door once they are ready with shoes on and backpack is beside them.
If there is any arguing when it is time to turn it off then it disappears for a certain time frame. I am from England and when I first saw Americans brush their kids teeth downstairs I thought it was genius, Its unheard of over there, we keep toothbrush and toothpaste for DD in the kitchen now. |
Anonymous
| Definitely no screens in the morning - too hard to pull them away. They must get dressed first before they come down for breakfast. We found that regular family meetings - at a different time than during the stress of trying to get out of the house - when we can calmly talk about how important it is to get ready in time helps. As a last resort we have consequences if they are not out the door when we need them to - no time for breakfast or they lose iPad priveledges. |
Anonymous
|
OP here. Thanks everyone. I'll try the chart idea, as well as incentives.
Q: for those of you who have your kids get dressed before breakfast, how do you avoid getting outfits ruined? I feel like the cereal milk, yogurt drink, ketchup for the eggs, syrup, jam, etc., always gets spilled or on them. Having them eat in PJs has been my solution. |
Anonymous
|
Get up earlier.
No screens. Incentive and tools (checklist) to get ready without minimal mom intervention. |
Anonymous
| Yes, and extra toothbrushes downstairs. That saves us from 5m+ min of upstairs distractions. |