cultural/age differences
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Anonymous
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I work on a team that's culturally diverse. Two people are from the US and three people are from countries besides the US. We all have equal titles and job responsibilities. Two of us are in our 30s, one is in their 50s and the other two are in their 60s. We usually all work together pretty well, but there are some circumstances where coworker in their 50s tells the two of us in our 30s to "respect our elders". This co-worker is the lowest performing member of our team and we often have to pick up the slack for them. They have a hard time learning how to do things in new ways, and many times we end up doing our own work and then helping them with theirs so our collective work doesn't get dinged. Our supervisor is aware and doesn't really seem to care as long as the work gets done.
The "respect your elders" comments are usually in relation to things like when we delegate tasks. Some tasks are more preferable than others, and sometimes we get reminders by this co-worker to "respect our elders", which means that they think that the older two team members should get the preferable (easier) tasks. It also happens when we have to do things like buy group gifts for showers etc. When we discuss as a team, this co-worker feels like the two younger people on the team should run the errands to buy the gifts. Most recently it happened when we were moving files around and this co-worker wanted the newest file cabinets for their files and the files of our co-workers in their 60s. I understand that it is very important to respect elders in this person's culture, and I appreciate that when it comes to family and community. But I don't feel like it has a place in the workplace, especially since this person has no authority over us. I really don't know how to handle this because I don't want to offend them but I also don't want to keep letting this person get away with this in the name of cultural sensitivity. Any ideas? |
Anonymous
| Has this person worked there for a much longer time? If so, she should get the newer cabinet. Otherwise, I would talk to your supervisor about it. The sup needs to explain that it doesn't work that way in the office. |
Anonymous
| call her out on it op. its not rocket science. |
Anonymous
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1) younger people should run the errands. They have more energy.
2) buy new filing cabinets for everyone. It's not that expensive. If you really can't, then people with seniority get the newer ones. 3) people with seniority also get to choose more how to divvy up the tasks. It kind of sucks as the young one, but you'll be in their shoes soon enough. Besides, the older ones probably aren't as big of slackers as you think. |
Anonymous
This is only true if the older ones have worked there longer. |
Anonymous
OP here. I am actually the one on the team with the most seniority in this workplace, but the older ones have worked in the profession for longer. We don't control when/how we get new supplies. We work for the county (teachers). No money for things like choosing when we want new file cabinets. This one just appeared and we were told it had been ordered for our team since a few of us were sharing one. I honestly don't care about the file cabinets--just the idea that I'm being told to "respect my elders" in the workplace before we even make decisions. |
Anonymous
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Why are you bothered by 'respect the elders' comment?
Perhaps fighting about file cabinets and running errands is showing your immaturity |
Anonymous
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I'd probably appropriate the phrase and change it. "Respect your elders." "Agreed! We should all respect one another! Thanks, John. Now, since you did X tasks last time, it's only fair that..." "Respect your elders." "Indeed! Respect is important!" "Respect your elders." "Yes. Everyone is deserving of respect!" "Respect your elders." "Out of respect for everyone's time, let's get this done as scheduled, so there are no delays." "Respect your elders." "Respect your elders." "Respect your elders." "With all due respect, we should divide the task equally." "I respectfully have to agree with Taylor on this..." Take the word and beat them over the head with it. But, that's just me. |
Anonymous
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So the two people in their 60s aren't the one pushing this, right-it's the person in their 50s? And they're saying it about the two older workers, not about themselves?
I feel like the burden is also on the two older people to chime in here. I'd feel super weird knowing I was always getting preferential treatment over my coworkers. But in this context, they're not your elders, they are your coworkers and peers. Sure, running errands to pick up shower gifts is something the person with less weekend obligations should offer to do, but that's not necessarily the youngest person. For example, my boss usually does that because her kids are grown, she has no pets, and she hires people to do all the housework, yard work, etc so she has plenty of free time on weekends. It makes more sense for her to do it than for me (single mom, would have to drag 2 young kids with me) or my coworker who doesn't have a car and would have to pay for a zip car or uber. |
Anonymous
I don't get the sense that OP is fighting about these things--rather that the "respect your elders" co-worker pulls the "respect your elders" card before any discussion is had. That would annoy me too. |
Anonymous
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Well, since I respect my elders, I would run the errands without a second thought. It's a no-brainer. On the other hand, I'm not going to let go of the interesting assignment which will help my career. The older people can have the easy, boring ones. |
Anonymous
+1. |