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My husband pees on the @#$@# floor...
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Anonymous
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So, let's get right to it. My husband seems to miss the toilet when he pees. Pretty much every day I find little dried (or wet, EW, worse) drops of pee spattered on the white tile floor in front of the toilet in the bathroom he uses. This ruined the grout the last place we lived. And HE WON'T CLEAN IT UP. And he gets soooooooo offended when I try to talk to him about it, like I am insulting his precious penis and its powers or something. And I have TRIED, tried, tried, to address this sensitively, because I just don't understand. Can't men control where they pee?!?!?!?!?! I have never actually watched him, but come on! I know my father and brother did not pee on the floor in the home where I grew up! And at the very least, HE COULD CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF!!!!!!! WIPE IT UP, FOR GOD'S SAKE! HE just LEAVES it there, right there, where I have to sit to give our child a bath every night, so that I have to wipe it up. Or STEP in it, which I just did, which is why I am posting this, in case anyone has insight or sympathy or suggestions, and also so that I can vent enough not to march into the bedroom and start smacking him with pillows.
WHAT KIND OF GROWN MAN PEES ON THE FLOOR AND LEAVES IT FOR HIS WIFE TO CLEAN UP DESPITE REPEATED, AND I MEAN OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST NINE #$#$^#%^$@%^@$%^ YEARS REPEATED, REQUESTS THAT HE NOT DO THIS DISGUSTING, DISRESPECTFUL THING?!?!?!?!?!?! And he is NOT a neanderthal jerk in any other area, I must say. He's a decent, sensitive guy. We have our quarrels, but we're pretty darn happy together. BUT THIS PEE SPATTERING HAS GOT TO STOP!!! I just don't know what to do. He says he "tries" to remember to clean up after himself and he "thinks" he is doing a pretty good job. What the @#$%. Please help me understand. Ok, I just took a photo of it and am emailing it to him (he is asleep right now) explaining that I just stepped in it, and it was gross, and would he please renew his efforts to clean up after himself in this department. WHAT IS HE, @#@$%@ FOUR YEARS OLD??? AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiii!!! 
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Anonymous
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Could you ask him to use toilet paper to dry off his penis? This is a practice that we have adapted in our house.
You can also buy a battery powered black light from the pet store, and have him look for splatters with it, as they will glow. You might also want to suggest that he talk to a doctor about it, because the trickling after emptying his bladder, could be a sign of a bigger issue. http://www.doctorndtv.com/faq/detailfaq.asp?id=4751 http://www.cuasba.com/educaciosanitaria/prostatismo.aspx?idioma=EN |
Anonymous
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OP here - thanks to the PP for the reply.
I will ask about the TP. I think(?) he uses it already? But if it could help, I will ask! The black light idea cracks me up.  No, it is REALLY OBVIOUS if you just LOOK. I mean, I can't imagine him willingly getting out a black light to check each time, but you can just SEE it glimmering in the light if you take the time to cast your eyes a few inches downward... It really stands out on our matte white tile.
The medical idea is interesting too... he is a typical young guy, never ever goes to the doctor, but I will keep that one in mind... maybe I can convince him it's worth a visit, or at least get him to bring it up at the next visit... I will see if I can get him to discuss it calmly so I can understand if post-pee "dribbling" is the problem... I cannot overstate how freaked out he gets at the slightest mention of this... sigh... |
Anonymous
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OP, I bought the black light when I was house breaking our puppy, but found it is very effective in the kids bathroom. I would need it in my bathroom if DH had this problem, because pee doesn't show up as well on the beautiful powder blue toilet we have in our master bath.
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Anonymous
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That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that .
Just a suggestion - can you put a small bathroom rug around the toilet? I know it doesn't solve the problem, but at least you wouldn't have to clean it up (or sit in it as you give your child a bath). You could just throw the rug in the laundry every few days. Seems like you are at your wits' end though... Maybe your husband can give your child a bath so he can see that he too would have to sit in his own pee spots. |
Anonymous
| I second the wrap-around-the-toilet bathroom rug. Recommended by my MIL, who raised five boys. It goes straight into the washer every week. Problem solved. |
Anonymous
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OP- Just want you to know that you're not alone... My husband does this too. I think it happens more when he goes in the middle of the night or when first waking up in the AM so he's half asleep, and his aim is just bad.
The rug idea is a good one... we might have to try that. |
Anonymous
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I got my hubby to sit and pee. It was pretty easy b/c he often feels light headed in the morning and I guess now he doesn't mind anymore sitting on the toilet at home b/c he knows it's easier to clean.
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Anonymous
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I'm so sorry . . . but I am laughing here. However, I understand your frustration and it would piss me off too (ok, bad choice of words). But, men in general are just different about some things. My DH and his friends think nothing of sitting around at a party of our friends and farting out loud (and usu. blaming a kid or dog), making poop jokes, talking about masturbating, etc. They think it is particularly amusing that they all, routinely apparently, pee outside in the summer. I was chagrined to learn my DH pees off our back deck (!) and my neighbor pees along the road (when it is dark and no one around) while walking the dog. WTF???? Who does this???? These are normal (seemingly) men.
Good luck!!! |
Anonymous
| My husband always sits to pee at our house ... makes life so much easier ! |
Anonymous
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OP: Your post made me laugh!! But I can empathize. My husband does not do this particular thing, but we still seem to have other pee issues. It is disgusting and since I'm the one who always cleans the bathroom it pi**es me off too. And don't assume he uses TP to wipe because Men don't seem to do this -- I've had to train my husband. My husband does sit in the mornings, but there are still issues due to morning stiffies. Think about it and you will see my problem!!
Men are gross. Sometimes I can understand the benefits of a relationship with a woman. |
Anonymous
| I am LMAO! This is too funny. Potty training for grown men...perhaps they were not fully potty trained long ago?! Sorry for the stress you are going through, tho. Maybe you could blatantly pee on the toilet for him to clean up next time he has to go. Gross, but it would give him a taste of what you have to deal with. |
Anonymous
my husband will not even let my little one sit to pee, not a man way of doing things I guess, I make my husband wipe his own mess, I am not a maid or his mother. |
Anonymous
Do you ever get the feeling that some men are stuck in adolescence? Jesus. OP, how about posting a sweet little note over the toilet asking him to clean up after himself? Or you could take 12:13's suggestion. . . or once a month maybe even leave some . . . no, I'm getting too gross here. |
Anonymous
| Op, do you have a second bathroom that you can use. If so stop cleaning up the pee. Once you husband sees how gross (feel free to point it out to him) it get he will get the message and start cleaning up after himself. |