Anyone here have a baby after a divorce
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Anonymous
| I have a six year old and I always dreamed of having at least two kids. I'm divorced and I don't have a boyfriend. I do have baby fever and I'm 40, so I feel like I'm running out of time to have another. Is this a bad idea? |
Anonymous
| Yes it's a bad idea. You are thinking about you only and not about the child and the longterm impact of your decision. |
Anonymous
| Are you planning on having the baby with your ex husband? If the two of you already co-parent well and you can afford another child, go for it. I'd just make sure I have a strong support system in place first. |
Anonymous
| You might be far enough away from the baby stage that you've forgotten how hard it is, especially without a partner. Seems like a bad idea, unless you can afford help. |
Anonymous
| Your child will not mind having a sibling, though it's a long road by yourself unless you can afford help. |
Anonymous
Be prepared for difficult issues, though. A child with special needs, etc. NOT because of your age. I had my son at 40 and the risks are still really low. But I have a step son with autism, very low-functioning, and it's a very difficult parenting situation to manage. Even though he's got a mom/step dad, and a dad/step mom, so there are a lot of adults looking out for him. It's VERY expensive to raise a kid with special needs, and that doesn't even address the emotional toll. Are you at least theoretically prepared for different challenges if they occur? Not just a kid with special needs, but your getting sick or losing a job? How's your financial health, job security, and retirement planning? Insurance coverage? Who would you want as guardian of your kids if something happens to you? You really need to examine all those things in detail before trying to be a single parent on purpose. It can be done. When my friend was 40, she adopted a girl who was deaf. But she planned out all the finances, support, etc, before doing it. Still, it was very challenging. |
Anonymous
I wouldn't expect them to be especially close. There would also the be the months it takes to conceive and gestate the baby. There are 5 years between my brother and I and we seem like worlds apart. |
Anonymous
| Op here, for the record, I'm already a single parent, so I'm not becoming one by choice. I realize that they would be at least 7 years apart. My sister and I are 11 years apart, we are NOT close, but she's my sister and has always been there for me when I was in trouble or needed support. I am concerned that DD does not have any siblings and has cousins that are in graduate school, so she's kind of alone. I did think about what I would do if I had a child with special needs. I don't think GOD ever gives people more than they can handle. I am not thinking just about myself I will be leaving DD the closest living relative she will have after her father and I are gone. I guess, I'm just worried that I will miss a window and regret it. |
Anonymous
Your kid's father is nowhere in the picture? |
Anonymous
| My best friend's DH has over 100 living relatives and 2 full blooded siblings close in age. Guess what? He doesn't associate with them by choice. His wife, kids, and his wife's family is his family. |
Anonymous
| Why not adopt? |
Anonymous
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My sons have an 8 year difference. Because I was a single mom, they are especially close.
I think you know the difficulties of single parenthood. If you can afford it and have help, go for it. |
Anonymous
If you can handle it, it's fine. I have 2 by choice and I love it. We're a very happy family of 3. I was 36 and 39 when my kids were born. |