Best Friend Has Become Obsessed With Herself

[Anonymous]

My best friend of 20+ years has always been a bit self-absorbed but it is on a whole new level now that she is recently divorced and gotten into really good shape. She looks better now than ever before. As a result, everywhere we go she turns heads and gets hit on by men. She has dozens and dozens of men pursuing her online and has gone on dates with many of them. She is constantly looking at her reflection in store windows and mirrors, taking selfies, primping, taking hours to get ready, etc. Another friend and I recently went to visit her. One night we went out to dinner and instead of just catching up with us she invited some guy from the internet to meet her at the restaurant. She had a date while we were right next to her! Not sure why that couldn't have waited till we left town. The whole trip she was constantly looking at her phone texting guys she's seeing, sending selfies, etc. All of this wanted to make me gag. I cannot believe how incredibly shallow she has become. She has very little that is substantive to talk about other than all the men that are after her. She also has very little self-awareness. As a friend, do I say something to her or let it go? Am wondering if others are honest with their good friends when they notice a negative change in them?

[Anonymous]

She went through divorce. That must have been a massive blow to her self-esteem. She'll likely settle down a bit. In the meantime, though, keep your distance. Be polite, but expect nothing from her now.

[Anonymous]

You sound jealous to be honest. The woman went through a divorce and is trying to find herself and create a new life. Have some compassion!

[Anonymous]

You SHOULD be. Present it to her this way: if she's so shallow that she's only about looks, what will worthy guys want with her since there's no substance? No man wants to date a woman who can only talk about how many other men she's dating.

[Anonymous]

This sounds typical of people that are dating. What else is she supposed to do with herself? Methinks you might be jealous her focus is on herself and men, and not you?

[Anonymous]

You might very nicely say "Sue, I am so glad that you seem so much happier, and you certainly look fantastic. But I don't know if you're aware of how much you're talking about your appearance and dating. It's a bit much and it makes it hard to have a conversation. I hope you continue to enjoy yourself, you definitely deserve it, but maybe just think about how much you talk about it."

And then she will probably hate you. But at least you will have tried.

[Anonymous]

My 50 year old sister is like this. Talking about everything she eats, liposuction, her nose. I told her she changed and I don't like it.

[Anonymous]

You are not her best friend if you don't tell her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend of 20+ years has always been a bit self-absorbed but it is on a whole new level now that she is recently divorced and gotten into really good shape. She looks better now than ever before. As a result, everywhere we go she turns heads and gets hit on by men. She has dozens and dozens of men pursuing her online and has gone on dates with many of them. She is constantly looking at her reflection in store windows and mirrors, taking selfies, primping, taking hours to get ready, etc. Another friend and I recently went to visit her. One night we went out to dinner and instead of just catching up with us she invited some guy from the internet to meet her at the restaurant. She had a date while we were right next to her! Not sure why that couldn't have waited till we left town. The whole trip she was constantly looking at her phone texting guys she's seeing, sending selfies, etc. All of this wanted to make me gag. I cannot believe how incredibly shallow she has become. She has very little that is substantive to talk about other than all the men that are after her. She also has very little self-awareness. As a friend, do I say something to her or let it go? Am wondering if others are honest with their good friends when they notice a negative change in them?

That's rude. Maybe it's just a phase?

[Anonymous]

She's probably not realizing how extreme she's become, so if you're a really good friend, you could broach the subject delicately. Prepare to be dumped, however.

[Anonymous]

It's probably a phase. If I got divorced and then got hot, I'd enjoy the attention, too. It is weird when a friend changes gears so completely, but stick with her for a bit. And if she doesn't change or tone it down, then mention it. I have a good friend since high school, very serious, a researcher and she's gotten totally into fitness and speaks and writes in hashtags. I am hoping it fades.

[Anonymous]

Stop hanging with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous to be honest. The woman went through a divorce and is trying to find herself and create a new life. Have some compassion!

NP your cognitive dissonance is pitiful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds typical of people that are dating. What else is she supposed to do with herself? Methinks you might be jealous her focus is on herself and men, and not you?

Ridiculous! OP, please ignore this poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds typical of people that are dating. What else is she supposed to do with herself? Methinks you might be jealous her focus is on herself and men, and not you?

No, not quite. I think when I go out of state to visit someone for only 2 days and they spend an entire meal with someone they don't even know on a date instead of spending time with me, it may be a tad rude. Why could this date not have waited till I left town? I think my friend may be addicted to men and the attention they give her.