is DCUM bad for my relationship?

[Anonymous]

I keep reading these tales of woe, and they remind me of my own relationship issues (husband's affair, long-term resentment, etc.). I am beginning to think that reading all of this stuff is detrimental to me moving on. Anyone else feel this way? I think I might go cold turkey on this forum

[Anonymous]

Probably the best thing I could do, too.

[Anonymous]

I actually feel the opposite. DH and I are still relatively early in our marriage and (thankfully) haven't had enough time to really mess it up yet. Reading some of the posts on this forum make me realize how easy it is to mess up even a good marriage. Makes me try harder to preserve our relationship.

[Anonymous]

YES.

[Anonymous]

You have to take if I hear with a grain of salt. There's a lot of bitter, dried up old divorced women on this forum in most would rather see you just as miserable as they are

[Anonymous]

It just depends on how much you typically let strangers' opinions run your life, on DCUM or elsewhere.

There are also a lot of tales of recovery, strength, and resilience on here but of course they're much less sensational so the threads are shorter. As with anything, hold onto what's useful and discard the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to take if I hear with a grain of salt. There's a lot of bitter, dried up old divorced women on this forum in most would rather see you just as miserable as they are

This. And I'm a divorced woman. The attitudes of many of the women on this board are just awful. Don't let them bring you down.

[Anonymous]

It's been helpful for me. I feel like I speak up for myself more since reading DCUM. Some things that I used to accept, I now see as unacceptable. I think that's a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Also a lot of men who aren't having sex and like to put women down.

[Anonymous]

This forum has been helpful for me to come out denial of issues - the anonymous DCUM crowd helped me spot my DH's affair which I would not have figured out on my own.

[Anonymous]

This site helps me realize that my spouse is pretty awesome.

[Anonymous]

I don't believe half of what is written for a number of reasons.

[Anonymous]

If things bother you, go cold turkey. Why torture yourself?

I come to observe human condition. It is like a car wreck: So awful you can't look away.

[ThatBetch]

If you let it, this forum would leave you believing that everyone's an abusive narcissist who cheats.

If you can remember that all humans are flawed, and that this is usually normal, not pathological, you can glean some useful info from this forum. If you're prone to snap judgments and/or easily triggered, this place is particularly toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This site helps me realize that my spouse is pretty awesome.

+1
DCUM reminds me to be grateful for all the great qualities he has and not focus on the minor annoying stuff.