thinking of backing out of hebrew school/6th grad/getting a tutor and doing bar mitzvah on my own
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Anonymous
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My son LOATHES hebrew school, and as we approach the start of 6th grade - I am having second thoughts about making him go!! He wants a Bar Mitzvah. We have talked about going to Israel next summer
(his 13th birthday is Sept 13), and he is open to that. He did express wanting a more traditional bar mitzvah - and when I ask him what that means he said he wanted his friends to see him read torah. Hmmmm - major dilemma. If we re going to "rent a rabbi", I prefer to do it in Israel. Any thoughts - or advice from people who have BTDT? What are the options? Thanks! |
Anonymous
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Why does he loathe it? Can't he stick it out for a bit? Because there's an important life lesson right there, OP/ Earning things through sticking things out.
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Anonymous
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Isn't hating Hebrew school a rite of passage? Did you love Hebrew school?
If he wants a traditional bar mitzvah, he has to put in the time. Otherwise you are teaching him from an early age that nothing requires hard work and sacrifice. |
Anonymous
I always thought that hating Hebrew school was a rite of passage. However, when DH was growing up in NYC and hating Hebrew school, his parents hired an Orthodox tutor to work with him. He absolutely loved it. Instead of 2x a week for 4 hours, it was once a week for 1 1/2 hours of intensive learning. No crappy art projects or silly songs. He learned to read and write Hebrew and about the complexities of the Torah. While we are not by any means religious, we chose Chabad for our kids for Hebrew school after two years at a Conservative synagogue. Kids were miserable at the synagogue- they were bored, not learning anything and underwhelmed. Chabad has been a game changer. Again, instead of 4+ hours a week and multiple days, it's 1 day and 2 hours. It's authentic, warm and genuine. They are learning so much and Chabad is so accepting. They don't care if we drive on Shabbat, they don't care that I'm wearing pants and a tank top to pick my kids up. They are just so happy to have us and we are so thrilled that our kids are learning and loving Judaism. In speaking with a dad in my community, he said Chabad does two thugs incredibly well, camp and Hebrew school. We've certainly found that to be the case! My advice, OP, is to find a really good tutor or visit your local Chabad. No one should be content with their child being miserable at Hebrew School. Like i said, I thought it was rite of passage too but it doesn't have to be! |
Anonymous
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Pp again. I think the other posters are being overly harsh. The boy wants to read from the Torah in front of his friends. Clearly he wants to put in the effort. Many Hebrew Schools have curriculums that are incredibly boring and monotonous. The social scene can be worse than school for some kids.
Op- explore Chabad or a private tutor. Judaism is a fascinating, intellectual and spiritual religion and no child should hate learning about it or be bored. If they hate it or they're bored, it's not the right place. |
Anonymous
| Iknow a very smart family that did all family baht and bar mitzvahs in Israel. Rather than focus on the obscenely expensive party and the hassle that goes into it, the family (and extensive family went to Israel). I thought it was a brilliant idea. |
Anonymous
| How are his friends going to see him read from the torah if you rent a rabbi in Israel? Are you so rich you're going to pay for all his friends to get passports and then fly them and put them up in Israel for a weekend or however long it takes? |
Anonymous
That is her dilemma. To rent a rabbi, she wants to do it in Israel. Her son wants his friends to see him read Torah which means doing it here. Doing it here means not renting a rabbi and attending Hebrew school. Her son hates Hebrew school. |
Anonymous
| Consider a different Hebrew school/synagauge? |
Anonymous
| Stay away from Beth Ami in Rockville. They make you pay for 8th grade as a condition of Bar/Bat Mitzvah in 7th grade. Do any other synagogues do this? |
Anonymous
Washington Hebrew doesn't. |
Anonymous
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If you are looking for an amazing local tutor I highly recommend mygotorabbi.com
He tutors my friends daughter and has done an amazing job - she looks forward to her class. |
Anonymous
| Some temples will allow you to do a tutor instead of the class. I think maybe Temple Micah? |
Anonymous
Temple Sinai allows private tutoring in lieu of Hebrew classes: http://www.templesinaidc.org/learn/religious-school/2016-17-religious-school-schedule-tuition |