Stay with peers, or stay with teachers?

[Anonymous]

Here's the scenario:

DS started at a new preschool ~6 weeks ago, 3 years old, almost 4 (end of September). Put into a class with other 3-4 year olds, most within 6 months of his birthday. Preschool is moving this class "up" to the "Pre-K" class in groups and doesn't plan to move DC until January, making him the last to be "promoted" into the Pre-K class. They didn't really share or talk with us about this plan. So he will be the oldest in his preschool class for ~ 4 months. Then he'll be in the Pre-K class with the children he started in a class with in July again until he starts K next fall. He seems to be mostly in line with other children his age in terms of emotional, social, motor development. Although compared to an older child in his peer group (i.e. a child who turned 4 last October), he's probably behind them. He doesn't like coloring, writing, drawing or cutting, but he's ok at managing emotions and social interactions (although it's a daily struggle). He enjoys being read to, but hasn't shown interest/inclination to read on his own. All age-appropriate and nothing we're worried about. He is a big kid (85th percentile height and weight) so appears to be older than he is. He is already the same size or bigger than many kindergartners.

FYI, this is a full-day program, and the summer is more like "camp" with water activities, theme weeks, etc.

My concerns:
a)all of his peers that he just met effectively leaving him behind, meaning he has to learn yet another group of children, many/most of whom will know each other from the last class; he is just barely getting to know the names of the children in his current class,
b) he will not be in the pre-K prep curriculum for most of the year before he starts K
c) he will be the oldest in his class until January, so he can't learn from the "older children" as much
d) lots of transitions in a short period: new preschool in July, new peers in September, new teacher in January vs new preschool in July, new teacher/class in September, and then stay there until he "graduates" to K
e) being the youngest in his "class," I worry about him being at a disadvantage already, but we don't currently have plans to "redshirt" him. We are in Virginia where the cut-off is 5 by Sep 30. We will re-evaluate this over the coming year and do the best thing for him, but we don't intend to hold him "back" right now.

However, I can see some advantage to him staying in a class with the same teachers, especially since he just started at the school this summer. That said, I haven't been terribly impressed by these teachers. I don't know which class they would put him in, so I don't know if the next teachers will be better/same/worst. I can also see it being good to know the younger kids in case we DO decide to delay K start next year.

So would you make a big deal about this, just try to have a conversation with the director about their thinking, or let it go? I haven't talked to DS about it yet, because he has finally just seemed to make the transition to school. In an ideal world we would have started at this new preschool in September, but life circumstances dictated we start in the summer instead.

[Anonymous]

One other thing...DS doesn't really nap much in his current class and is often the only one awake. As kids start approaching K, I know many of the other children will start dropping the nap, too, but if he's in a class with other 3 YO's, he'll probably continue being the only one napping many days. We don't force the nap at home because he sleeps well at night for 11 hours with no nap, but he's basically hanging out on his cot for sometimes 2 hours a day with nothing to do.

-OP

[Anonymous]

My almost 4-year-old daughter is also at an all-day daycare that moves kids just twice a year (spring and fall). When she was in the 18-month-old room, she got left behind because they had a bunch of twins enroll and they had to keep them together. She stayed in the 18-month old room until she was 2.5. She then skipped a room (2 yr olds) and went straight to the 3 year old room the next summer.

It was rough on her to lose all of her friends (who were much younger than her). She didn't know anyone in the new classroom and it took a few weeks to adjust. But she did eventually get to know the new kids and she was fine.

At this age, honestly, I'm not sure it makes much difference. I wasn't happy my kid got left behind in the 18-month-old room, but one unexpected upside was that she became sort of like the teacher's helper because she was so far ahead of the younger kids. She's got a dominant personality (I don't like to say bossy, but...) and she seemed to enjoy being the first kid to master a task and being help up as an example for the other kids.

I think at this age the teachers are more important than the kids your child is with. Kids this age can make friends pretty quickly.

There's no harm in bringing it up with the teacher/administrator and talking to them about your concerns.

[Anonymous]

We are in a similar position, but our kid is not very social, so we aren't pushing the issue. The teachers probably planned it for just that reason.

Anyway, there is also something to be said for being the oldest where he will be setting the example for younger kids and leading them. I think it's Montessori that encourages mixed-age classes? As long as the teachers can provide him with skill-appropriate material and keep him interested, it probably won't matter much in the long run.