Houseguests with kids
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Anonymous
| My SIL and her 2 young ones ( 8 and 11) are visiting. This is the first time we host them as they live out of the country. Love them but am getting increasingly annoyed. The kids have free reign in their home and are behaving similarly in mine (jumping on couches, running around dinning table and banging chairs, snacking in bedrooms and formal lving room etc.). How do you manage other people's kids in your house? I really want to set some rules but don't want to offend my SIL. My husband wants to let it go, but the eating and snacking everywhere is killing me. |
Anonymous
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If Mom won't put a stop to it, then you need to.
"Hey guys, NO food outside of the kitchen!" "Larla, in this house we sit on the couch, not jump, please sit down" Don't let them walk all over you |
Anonymous
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You're allowed to set rules in your own house. Children are perfectly capable of understanding different rules for their house, someone else's house, school, church, a store, etc.
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Anonymous
This, we had friends kids visit for a few weeks and I was clear on this. They still snuck food into their room which annoyed me but I was pretty successful. At that age they should not be jumping on the couch. |
Anonymous
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Just say, Jimmy and Larlo, please no jumping on the couch.
Jeez, why didn't you say something earlier. It's easier to start strict and loosen up than the other way around. But mostly, get them out of the house. Problem solved. Park, pool, outing, play in yard... |
Anonymous
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Just be light and breezy and they should respond without drama.
I'm sorry Joey but those cookie have crumbs spilling out. Would you please keep food in the kitchen and dining room only? I'm worried your going to bounce right off, Joey! Please just sit on the furniture and keep your feet on the floor, okay? |
Anonymous
| Do you have kids? I am asking as people with kids usually have some rules in place. I know a woman who decided to let the kids be the boss of the house. Four of them. Her house is a mess, her oldest got high SAT, got called by Harvard, and decided not to go as it was too much work. He now bags groceries. On the other hand, I am going to play the devil's advocate here. My kids just visited their aunt, who has no kids. All she and her husband did the whole time was complain about my kids. My kids are a handful, but they begged me to send them there. When I tried to tell them how to acts and what to tell kids to do, a lot of "tell them to do it, don't ask them if they want to," but they knew better. So I have been at both ends of this story. Unless kids are destructive, I would let it be and survive the visit. I know I didn't like them criticizing my kids, hence me, and whenever I sorted the problem, aunt and uncle undermined me and eventually let the kids get their way. And that was my fault again too, so when I tried to bring order, I was told I am too strict, when I let them do what they want, my kids were out of control. Nobody "won" but the kids. |
Anonymous
Yeah. Whatever. Jumping on furniture is destructive. |
Anonymous
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Explain the house rules:
In this house food is ONLY eaten at the table. There's no food to be taken out of the kitchen. In this house we treat furniture gently and don't do gymnastics on it. I can see that you really like jumping and running, so we'll go to a fun playground for you this afternoon. It's that simple. |
Anonymous
I don't like this typical Mommy, slightly passive-aggressive shit. Joey's just as likely to say "oh, I'll keep the crumbs from spilling, and I won't fall off the couch, I do this all the time." And don't say "OK?" You're not asking permission to set a rule. You say "No jumping on the couch. Keep food in the kitchen." |
Anonymous
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Just open your damb mouth and tell Billy not to jump on the couch.
LIFE IS NOT HARD. |
Anonymous
| If you are such a curmudgeon that some jumping on furniture by kids is a criminal offense, and a few crumbs will ruin your life, I beg you never to become a mother. Aunts are supposed to be fun and loving, but clearly your genetic material missed that gene. |
Anonymous
Ridiculous. We had an old couch that we allowed our kids to jump on. We got a new coach and stopped allowing kids to jump on it. I did not go from fun and loving to a curmudgeon overnight. Instead, it made sense to made a new rule so we made a new rule, and our kids survived. OP, your house, your rules. |
Anonymous
You might have commented that my post is ridiculous, but in fact you said that you allowed your kids to jump on an old couch, showing that you did allow your kids to have some fun and have understanding of how important it is to have some fun when you are a kid. I never said there should be no rules at all, clearly there must be, but unless these kids are completely destructive, which I doubt, OP is picking on SIL, her parenting skills, while her DH is ok going along with it, for a short visit. I am always gracious to my guests and yes, that often means biting my tongue and letting things slide. Is it really worth it picking a fight with SIL, kids and DH for a few days and creating a rift in the family? I thought that proper polite hostess should shrug off many things, and say things like "Oh, don't worry about it, it's fine." If they start truly breaking things, then some action should happen. I clean and cook for my guests, if I didn't want them here, I wouldn't invite them and would suggest a hotel. OP is an ungracious host and a harpy. |
Anonymous
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Your house, your rules. Larla and larlo we don't eat in the bedroom/family room. We eat at the table. In my case it's MIL, and I have to tell her every single time. Now my kids are old enough that they will scold her for it, which I love.
In this house we don't jump on furniture/run around the house/whatever it is that you don't do. |