WAtching Boyhood and feeling so sad

[Anonymous]

My kids are little now, and still think I'm a hero, I'm a miracle worker, and my hugs heal wounds. I know it will end soon and they will become kids and less dependent on me and they'll realize I'm full of flaws (and remind me of them). But, watching Boyhood makes me SO depressed. Is this what teens are like? Sullen? Monosyllabic? Disinterested in their futures? Apathetic? Please give me some hope that my heart just won't break into pieces when my kids become teens.

[Anonymous]

Well, what were you like as a teen?

[Anonymous]

I was not like that! But my brother was. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

My DS is 18. He's been a wonderful teenager. He has a good sense of self and seems secure in his skin. He's opinionated and engaged on a wide variety of topics. He is well-read and well-versed in current affairs. He is kind and attentive to his elderly grandparents. He's not terrible to his siblings, lol. He still enjoys spending time with DH and me. Especially me--he really, really likes his mother.

He can be a total PITA at times and infuriatingly stubborn. But mostly his teen years have been great.

[Anonymous]

OP enjoy now and don't stress over possible sullen teens in the years to come. Even after they figure out you're not perfect their childhood memories will be about a loving mother. Your kids becoming less dependent means you're doing it right. You're giving them self confidence.

[Anonymous]

My son and I saw Boyhood when it came out. We both hated it, weren't moved by it, and didn't relate to it at all. He is 24 now.

Did he have what we refer to as "The Summer of Stamping and Slamming?" Sure. But he wasn't a grump all of his teen years at ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are little now, and still think I'm a hero, I'm a miracle worker, and my hugs heal wounds. I know it will end soon and they will become kids and less dependent on me and they'll realize I'm full of flaws (and remind me of them). But, watching Boyhood makes me SO depressed. Is this what teens are like? Sullen? Monosyllabic? Disinterested in their futures? Apathetic? Please give me some hope that my heart just won't break into pieces when my kids become teens.

More or less. Asking my 17 y.o. DD how her day went usually elicits a "fine." What do you have to do today? "Stuff," etc. and pressing for more info. produces irritation. It is very frustrating sometimes.

At other times, we have the most eye-opening conversations. Or we will argue b/c I might challenge her opinion on something based on my wealth of experience. As the former president of Hampden-Sydney as said to his sons: "You've never been 50! I've been 17."

LOL!

[Anonymous]

OP,
Teens right now, and I imagine middle schoolers or any kids that are a few years older than yours, seem "other." Scary. But when your kids get to those ages, it seems normal. You can relate to the kids and enjoy that stage in their lives. They become interesting people with viewpoints that are intriguing.

My DD has days that involve stomping, anger, eye rolling or whatever, but that's not the norm. She's an interesting person and we like to be around her.

Just keep an open mind and don't sweat the small stuff. The point is not to control them as they get older but teach them and be a role model for what you want. It'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Every stage of life has +'s and -'s. Enjoy every stage as it is happening don't dread the future or wish away the present.

My kids are now teens and I enjoyed (for the most part) each stage of life with them.

It is also foolish to wish for things that you know can't happen. I wish that they would stay 3 forever is a silly wish. Rather I wish that I can enjoy my time with kids is much better.

[Anonymous]

I fell the same way.. My kids are now in college. I fell like crying after reading this

[Anonymous]

I found the movie depressing as well, but I would save up your sad for when the inevitable separation starts to happen. It has to happen, it's a natural part of development. Relish and savor what you have now. You will have plenty of time to feel sad when your tween/teen changes. It IS hard. I feel like I love my son more and more with each year, but some of the emotional changes he's going through are hard to absorb.

[Anonymous]

I have a 14 year old girl and, while every day is not roses and sunshine, my hugs still comfort her. And this year she came to me several times with serious issues from her school and I told her a few times that I had to inform the school and her reply was, "I know. I told you because I knew you would know what to do." I felt like a superhero even if she and I both knew I am just a mom doing the best I can.

[Anonymous]

I am miserable with my teen DS right now. Yes, I think this happens with some people. But I have worked with teens and I think that once they hit 16, something changes. That 14-16 age though can be tough. For me, it is the yoyo effect that I find the hardest.

[Anonymous]

The movie affected me profoundly. Watching them grow up in 2 hours and watching Patricia Arquette's despair was heart wrenching. It made me take a serious look at my life and make some changes. It will go by so quickly. I'm trying harder to really be there in the moment. One day I will look back on these days when we were all here together, once my kids have grown and gone.

[Anonymous]

I have three adult sons and none of them were like that. They were, and still are, great guys. I thought parenting teen boys was much easier than parenting small children.