Welp, it's happening! My sis is having a fix-it baby

[Anonymous]

My sister and her unmatched husband are having another baby (they have 2 daughters already). Last year she insisted he would need to make major changes in multiple areas to save their marriage; I haven't seen a a difference and now they are adding to the chaos. I honestly don't think she should have another baby.

I. Don't. Get. It.

[Anonymous]

send her an anonymous email with this link

[Anonymous]

Ha! My parents tried that (with me) it didn't work! Their marriage lasted another 5 years, and it was miserable for everyone! Also, I was supposed to be a boy! And I'm not! So that failed too. I was born a two-time failure (should i do an "ama" thread?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! My parents tried that (with me) it didn't work! Their marriage lasted another 5 years, and it was miserable for everyone! Also, I was supposed to be a boy! And I'm not! So that failed too. I was born a two-time failure (should i do an "ama" thread?).

They have openly discussed this with you? Glad they were honest.

-OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:send her an anonymous email with this link

Hopefully she has more than one sister, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! My parents tried that (with me) it didn't work! Their marriage lasted another 5 years, and it was miserable for everyone! Also, I was supposed to be a boy! And I'm not! So that failed too. I was born a two-time failure (should i do an "ama" thread?).

They have openly discussed this with you? Glad they were honest.

-OP

NO WAY - older siblings confirmed my suspicions. Much older sibs - they knew what was going on. Open secret. I knew about the wanting a boy, though - it's obvious in my name!

[Anonymous]

OP, repeat after me. "Not my monkeys, not my circus."

[Anonymous]

Feel bad for her. It was probably an accident and now she's locked into this marriage for a while longer with even more stress. Poor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister and her unmatched husband are having another baby (they have 2 daughters already). Last year she insisted he would need to make major changes in multiple areas to save their marriage; I haven't seen a a difference and now they are adding to the chaos. I honestly don't think she should have another baby.

I. Don't. Get. It.

I hear ya. I know a woman who is married to an unstable, verbally, and sometimes physically, abusive, alcoholic. Two children in the fold and even though her protestations etc. have been legion over the past year she is now pregnant. No mention of it being an oops the bc didn't work. WTF is all I could think when she mentioned it. Then my thoughts and concerns shifted to the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, repeat after me. "Not my monkeys, not my circus."

Heard that before, repeat it when necessary, keep my mouth shut as a result, but it doesn't solve the concern and sadness.

[Anonymous]

Assuming this is not an abusive marriage, it could work. I know most of the time it doesn't, but maybe think good thoughts instead of bad. Either way you are going to have a new niece of nephew!

[Anonymous]

I resolve to be the best aunt I can to my unborn niece/nephew who will be arriving in a house built of cards.

This is the best that you can do. Hope and pray that the house becomes more solid by the time the child is born, but resolve to do the best that you can for the children when it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

There may be difficulties in the marriage, but they certainly don't need the pressure of a Nosy Nelly like you passing judgment and negativity.

"I haven't seen a a difference and now they are adding to the chaos." And? Maybe your sister (you know, the one in the marriage?) HAS seen a difference.

How sad that you have a new niece or nephew on the way, and your first instinct is to judge and wag a finger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, repeat after me. "Not my monkeys, not my circus."

This sounds good but she vents to me all the time and I don't want her to think she can't come to me. I probably know more about their marriage than I should even though we are sisters. She told me the news over the phone which was a good idea because if she would be able to see my face she probably wouldn't speak to me for a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There may be difficulties in the marriage, but they certainly don't need the pressure of a Nosy Nelly like you passing judgment and negativity.

"I haven't seen a a difference and now they are adding to the chaos." And? Maybe your sister (you know, the one in the marriage?) HAS seen a difference.

How sad that you have a new niece or nephew on the way, and your first instinct is to judge and wag a finger.

Trust me I'm not nosy; she'll bring up drama in her marriage when I did not solicit it. I would actually like for her to see a professional because there's nothing that I can do.