Cold feet

[Anonymous]

I'm getting cold feet about having a frozen embryo transfer. Is it normal to have some doubts about wanting another child? My husband is ambivalent.

[Anonymous]

Then I won't do it.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal.

We did a FET (that failed) and then a fresh cycle (that worked) in pursuit of a third child. I'm 12 weeks and still have my moments when I wonder if this was the right decision. Are we really ready to have another child? (we are financially and emotionally, etc, etc but Gosh! kids are a lot of work!). I am THRILLED to be in this position but realize that having a child is a major life decision.

Going through IVF gives one a whole lot of time to truely contemplete the pros and cons about having another child. Those who conceive spontaneously (and quickly) get pregnant and deal with it. Those of us who do IVF have weeks and months (and even years) to mull over the decision (should we spend the money? what should be the spacing of our children? how many embryos should we transfer? how badly do we want children? to what ends are we willing to go to pursue this goal? what would life be without children? and on and on and on) In my case this time brought up a lot of questions that I wouldn't have stewed about if we just had sex and got pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Thanks. . . . I'm sure part of the problem for me is age; do I have the energy to raise another child? And I just buried a parent who was 41 when I was born, so I think about that as well. Then there's my husband's ambivalence. So much to think about!