Tell me about your older ADHD kid
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Anonymous
| Does it get easier? Does s/he do well in school? Will s/he be medicated forever, or do the symptoms diminish with age? Do you anticipate a successful adulthood? My 6 yo has just been diagnosed and started on a very low dose (5mg) of Ritalin that seems to be helping with the rages. I am just looking for some perspective on what the next months and years are going to look like. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| Not every kid with ADHD has the same symptoms. Mine is impulsive, constantly moving and has zero filter. On meds, he is fine. He doesn't have rages and never has. He gets mostly As and an occasional B. He has friends. |
Anonymous
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My 19 yr old DD has been medicated since she was 8. For college she still takes her meds on class days but no longer on the weekend.
Last summer she had a job and made it to work on time without me prompting her. I see no reason why she won't have a successful adulthood. She is much better at emotional regulation now which is why she doens't take the meds on the weekends. That just came with age and maturity. |
Anonymous
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My son is almost ten- for our family, the issues have changed. Tantrums are rare, but verbal disrespect and and opposition are becoming problematic. Homework is a big deal- there is more of it, and it requires concentration and diligence.
Social issues can be problematic starting about 2nd grade when kids become more judgmental- at least for DS. Now, in fourth, he struggles with friendships. As DS gets older, I am turning more toward Ross Greene's collaborative parenting style. I have less control now and that will continue to be the trend. |
Anonymous
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My kid just turned 9. He has ASD/ADHD and the ADHD, combined type, caused him more issues than the ASD/Asperger's ever did before he got medicated for his ADHD.
His ADHD manifests in constantly moving around like running in circles, just wild like a dervish but he was never impulsive or threw tantrums. Also, he needed a lot of redirection and could be oppositional. These issues disappeared once he got medicated for the ADHD and he is generally much happier. Socially, he does very well. He is very talented in his hobby, competes nationally and NT kids want to be his friend and seek him out. He started on his hobby after he was diagnosed and treated for the ADHD. At school he has an IEP, fully mainstreamed and above grade level academically, and he is popular with peers and has a BFF but he has been getting social supports since prek at the same school. He is going into 4th grade and we will switching him to a mainstream private school for middle school where he will compete for them in his hobby. |
Anonymous
| Mine is in grad school. Still on meds and may be forever, although hopefully at lower doses. DC never had behavior issues, it was much more about ability to focus in class, doing homework, etc. There have been challenges along the way, and a GPA that has always been lower than potential due to problems taking exams, but it's all worked out. |
Anonymous
| My older DC is a rising senior in college. Still on meds, but only for schoolwork/internship work. GPA of 3.85 after years of working on sustained effort and executive skills. It also helps that at this point he has control over what he studies. |
Anonymous
| How did he work on sustained effort and executive skills? My dd is 16 and struggles w executive function a lot. |
Anonymous
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It depends on your child's native intelligence, the work ethic he will develop, his specific symptoms and his ability to choose a job (and a spouse) that will play to his strengths and accept his weaknesses. Take my husband - ADHD and Asperger's, never medicated, MD/PhD, been fired from many posts, and can only function in public research labs that agree to trade high productivity for deep thinking and troubleshooting. I joke that with meds he could have won a Nobel 
My middle schooler, went from failing/no friends to getting top grades/ making friends when medicated. He's shaping up to be a scientist just like DH, slow but thoughtful. I believe that success will come with developing self-awareness and planning the educational and career path deliberately. |
Anonymous
Across the threads, I'm getting damn tired of hearing about this mysterious "hobby." |
Anonymous
| It's chess, clearly. And this pp is helpful because she explains the accommodations her son has received and he's clearly a success story. She's done a really good job. I do think there is some obsfurcation, even if unintentional - in old posts I've seen, this pp has noted that her son wasn't potty trained at 4, despite insisting that there were no red flags. That's one. And I do think the pp confuses people a bit in that her son is clearly a classic Shelton ultimately successful Asd type. I'm sure there are issues but they might be very different than those others face. Also, I've never heard of anyone receiving the type of testing and services the pp did so it's kind of frustrating. A full neuropsych done by the school and pt ot and st. There's no way we would ever get that. So, bottom line, I'm supportive and appreciate her viewpoint and insights but sometimes annoyed. Just an observer of the forum. |
Anonymous
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My 11 year old starts middle school soon, and is medicated at 15 mgs focalin XR. I'm not sure if that will be enough for middle school but he has been at that dose since 3rd grade. He's a good student with lots of friends, we mostly deal with impulsiveness, some disorganization, and a lot of talking back, and stubbornness. (I'm not sure how different this is from most 11 year old boys now that I read this?)
The thing I see the most is he has a lot of "frenemies," they are friends and then they are not. I'm not sure how to break this pattern. |
Anonymous
She has been very clear in the past that her son had serious behavioral issues like hitting the SN teacher which explains the tremendous number and hours of services. I hate that school systems have to wait until a kid gets to that point before offering such support but happy it all worked out for her child. I also appreciate her viewpoint and advice but think it would be helpful to others to provide some more context. I'm guessing the story gets abbreviated more because she's busy and doesn't have time to rehash everything. Maybe link to a longer version of the story in previous threads? Again, think this mom (or dad?) is great. |
Anonymous
| Also- be consistent. He wasn't toilet trained at 4 and he hit the teacher. There were clearly red flags. Stop insisting there were "no signs". |
Anonymous
| My 11 year old is medicated and is doing pretty well. He can still be too sensitive, anxious about transitions and easily frustrated when things don't go his way, but behavioral issues like hitting/shoving are over. He is obsessed with electronics. He plays on a sports team, has many general friends with occasional playdates. He rushes through writing homework which holds him back and that takes some parental effort and tutoring. |