Grandparents not on board with healthy eating for obese child

[Anonymous]

We're going on vacation next week to see my parents. They usually make lots of generous meals, go out for burgers and pizza, and love spoiling the grandkids with daily ice cream, home made treats, etc. I'm usually totally fine with a week of indulging but my 9 year old has become obese this year and his doctor has helped us come up with a moderate family eating plan to help get him to a healthy weight. I'm worried that a week of gorging will set him way back. I asked my parents if we could make some healthy menu changes this year and they are not willing to limit the sweets. I'm normally not controlling about food but this has become a serious health issue for my kid and I need them to be supportive. How do I get them to help while we're staying with them?

[Anonymous]

I mean ... you told them your kid has a health issue and your family's working to accommodate it, and you asked them to get on board and they said no? What was their rationale?

[Anonymous]

Camp mom?

[Anonymous]

They're traditional Italians, they say they love their grandchildren by giving lots of food. They have good intentions but I need them to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're going on vacation next week to see my parents. They usually make lots of generous meals, go out for burgers and pizza, and love spoiling the grandkids with daily ice cream, home made treats, etc. I'm usually totally fine with a week of indulging but my 9 year old has become obese this year and his doctor has helped us come up with a moderate family eating plan to help get him to a healthy weight. I'm worried that a week of gorging will set him way back. I asked my parents if we could make some healthy menu changes this year and they are not willing to limit the sweets. I'm normally not controlling about food but this has become a serious health issue for my kid and I need them to be supportive. How do I get them to help while we're staying with them?

Use it as a learning opportunity for your kid to learn and practice moderation and when its appropriate to have a treat. Your parents aren't going to change - especially if they are accustomed to spoiling their grandkids using food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean ... you told them your kid has a health issue and your family's working to accommodate it, and you asked them to get on board and they said no? What was their rationale?

coz the grandparents are Ellyn Satter believers?

[Anonymous]

Can you meet halfway?

Froyo instead of yogurt (stick to fruit toppings) on alternating days, limit pizza portion size or go easy on cheese (make it yourself?), maybe turkey burgers?

It's important to relax a little on vacation.

[Anonymous]

I would compromise. Let them choose the foods and you limit the portions. If they serve pizza, limit to 2 medium or 1 large slice. Get some fresh veggies lthat don't need to be cooked like carrot sticks and cherry/grape tomatoes that can be eaten along with any meal. If they give treats or ice cream, you liimit to one small or half a big cookie or one small scoop of ice cream. You can still manage weight eating treats as long as you manage portion sizes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would compromise. Let them choose the foods and you limit the portions. If they serve pizza, limit to 2 medium or 1 large slice. Get some fresh veggies lthat don't need to be cooked like carrot sticks and cherry/grape tomatoes that can be eaten along with any meal. If they give treats or ice cream, you liimit to one small or half a big cookie or one small scoop of ice cream. You can still manage weight eating treats as long as you manage portion sizes.

This would be my approach. You can't control what anyone else cooks or offers, but you can teach your family portion control and moderation. Make sure you have lots of fruit and vegetables on hand. Before they can have ice cream, they need to have had X amount of veg at supper, and have snacked on fruit through the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're going on vacation next week to see my parents. They usually make lots of generous meals, go out for burgers and pizza, and love spoiling the grandkids with daily ice cream, home made treats, etc. I'm usually totally fine with a week of indulging but my 9 year old has become obese this year and his doctor has helped us come up with a moderate family eating plan to help get him to a healthy weight. I'm worried that a week of gorging will set him way back. I asked my parents if we could make some healthy menu changes this year and they are not willing to limit the sweets. I'm normally not controlling about food but this has become a serious health issue for my kid and I need them to be supportive. How do I get them to help while we're staying with them?

WTF? Cake Hero Grandparents are back for 4+ meals a day of cake?

Where to retirees get this selfish attitude from?

Email them your child's diet and tell them you need their help with nutrition, calories and adhering to the diet. Sign off with a Thank you for understanding.

No conversation needed. If they cross the line, take them aside, give them a print out of the email and tell them to stop undermining you.

[Anonymous]

If they are not willing to make changes for the sake of your child's health then don't visit. It's not much different than if they refused to put sunscreen on your child at the beach or refused to let him brush his teeth while visiting.

You are asking for common sense, doctor recommended accommodations for his health that are easy to comply with, not a total upheaval of their lives.

[Anonymous]

There is no pleasing most grandparents. Now they want to feed the kid to death, tomorrow they will blame you for making the kid obese. Go everywhere and control everything, and let them hate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no pleasing most grandparents. Now they want to feed the kid to death, tomorrow they will blame you for making the kid obese. Go everywhere and control everything, and let them hate you.

but that put the child in a difficult spot, unless the child is 100% on board with the dieting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're traditional Italians, they say they love their grandchildren by giving lots of food. They have good intentions but I need them to stop.

I could have written your post almost word for word except DS is 8. We went on vacation in July and I had many discussions with the family about my son and healthy eating before. I was lectured by my mother that I forgot my Italian roots and "food is love" so I really get it. We ended up having a great week with compromises. Here's what worked.

They didn't care one bit about what the doctor said. I spoke to them about my son's feelings and how he was becoming self concious of his weight. I was trying to hard to focus on health, not weight and would appreciate support. Of course that wasn't enough... My sister and her family lives there and she was completely supportive. We planned a food festival and had all the kids make recipes for everyone to try. Tons of food but we controlled the recipes for at least that day. It was a fun activity for the cousins and the older relatives love anything with lots of food.

Accept there will be desserts, macaroni, meatballs, whatever their homemade specialties are. I asked and they made sure there were lots of vegetables too. I encouraged my kids to eat balanced meals. Some days it worked.

Luckily my parents are very active and we had a lot of physical activity. They didn't eat as healthy as they usually do but they had a great week with the family and it wasn't a total free for all as it has been in other years.

[Anonymous]

Traditional Italians are not obese though. Just refuse the food and if they are stuck with tons of leftovers they have to eat themselves, maybe they will start to understand the problem.