Worried my daughter is developing a phobia after witnessing a distressing event.

[Anonymous]

TRIGGER WARNING THERE ARE SPIDERS IN THIS STORY

A few weeks ago my 7 year old spent the day with one of her friend's family at a lake. Her friend is 7 and her friend's older sister is 9.

So what we think happened was the older sister rubbed up against a spider's egg and got it caught in her hair which was tightly braided in two french braids. When the tiny spiders hatched she started screaming and it was very traumatic. Her uncle figured out what was up and got her into the water while her mother tried to get her braids out as quickly as possible. Thankfully there was no physical damage but I am sure it was emotionally traumatic for the older sister. My daughter and her friend were panicked as well.

DH and I talked with her and reassured her and focused on how awesome it was that her uncle came to her rescue and thought so quickly to get her into the water. She said it was scary but agreed he was her hero. She said she didn't like spiders and we laughed and said that was okay, most people don't.

So over the past few weeks my daughter has not wanted her hair braided, is looking for spiders everywhere and I noticed she didn't seem to interested in swimming even though she is a water baby. A few days ago she started crying hysterically because she saw some string inside her shorts and though it was spider. Each time we reassure her. Tell her there is nothing to be afraid of. Talk to her about spiders and how they are more afraid of us etc.

Her friend's mom told me that both her daughters are freaked out and doing some of the same things. She thinks this will pass and I tend to agree but I also worry about my daughter developing a phobia. Not like having arachnophobia is a terrible thing but if I can support her in some way I want to.

I'm just worried. Should we have her talk to someone about this?

[Anonymous]

I'm just worried. Should we have her talk to someone about this?

No. It will pass on its own. My son was constantly looking for and freaking out about bees for 3 months after getting stung in the neck by one. In time, he forgot about it and moved on.

[Anonymous]

Validate her fears. She's afraid. That's a scary thing that happened, however it's insanely rare take it happened.

[Anonymous]

I think I would tell her it would be extremely rare for anything to ever happen like that again.

[Anonymous]

Don't show her you're worried. Listen sympathetically and redirect her. In a little while, it will pass. Some biology on spiders and how most kinds are beneficial (eat mosquitoes) and non-toxic may be useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Don't show her you're worried. Listen sympathetically and redirect her. In a little while, it will pass. Some biology on spiders and how most kinds are beneficial (eat mosquitoes) and non-toxic may be useful.

Yes, listen. No need to redirect or say anything.

But don't go into the biology of spiders at this point. No one likes creepy crawly things in her hair. She probably would have been freaked out by anything crawling in her hair.

It may take a while, OP, but chances are it will pass.

[Anonymous]

Oh for Pete's sake. You are going to let her crumble at THIS, op

So, so glad I have boys

[Anonymous]

My son was so afraid of spiders, he would rather sit outside than touch a door knob that had a spider web. So it's not a girl thing. For my son, we provided alternate means to get into the house - a keypad, a house key to the front door and a house key to the back. So essentially we taught him to avoid it. Over time his fear faded. Not sure what else you can do but be supportive and help them find ways to avoid the fear so eventually they forget it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for Pete's sake. You are going to let her crumble at THIS, op

So, so glad I have boys

Yes because 7 year old boys would not be freaked out by 100s of baby spiders in their hair and then being dunked in a lake.

Move on.

[Anonymous]

I think the intensity will pass for sure. I have felt squimish at times after but experiences, and even a dangling string would make me jump too. I think her reaction is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would tell her it would be extremely rare for anything to ever happen like that again.

oh yes this too - the old lightening doesnt strike the same place twice saying. So, they have spider hair covered forever.

[Anonymous]

Seriously OP, are you for real? You're giving "trigger warnings" and considering a psych intervention because your daughter is freaked out by spiders after one hatched in her friend's hair?

And this is not a boy/girl thing. I have a 7yo boy who gets freaked by spiders. NBD. Get over it OP and your daughter will too.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read the thread, just scrolled right to the bottom to post this. I want to thank you, OP, for posting the trigger/ phobia alert! You probably saved me from nightmares tonight, whatever the story is. I hope your daughter is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP, are you for real? You're giving "trigger warnings" and considering a psych intervention because your daughter is freaked out by spiders after one hatched in her friend's hair?

And this is not a boy/girl thing. I have a 7yo boy who gets freaked by spiders. NBD. Get over it OP and your daughter will too.

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read the thread, just scrolled right to the bottom to post this. I want to thank you, OP, for posting the trigger/ phobia alert! You probably saved me from nightmares tonight, whatever the story is. I hope your daughter is okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP, are you for real? You're giving "trigger warnings" and considering a psych intervention because your daughter is freaked out by spiders after one hatched in her friend's hair?

And this is not a boy/girl thing. I have a 7yo boy who gets freaked by spiders. NBD. Get over it OP and your daughter will too.

Being courteous and showing concern for your child is bad thing now.

Huh the more you know.