Adult sibling with borderline personality disorder

[Anonymous]

So has been hospitalized extensively and I can't commit them for more than 7 days. Out of money, waiting for disability to come through, owns own place and car so may sell that but suicide probably preferable to taking the bus.

Here's what I hear from them:

'And that's where I'm going
to eventually end up. I don't see how I am going to get better. There
is too much stress and going to a stupid therapist once a week for 50
mins is absolutely useless. Plus everyone says I'm not going to get
better if I don't believe I will get better and I don't believe. I try
to but I just can't. The only future I see is one where I try to kill
myself. And the only thing stopping me right now is Cally. And I just
don't see a way around it.'

[Anonymous]

Many places have a mobile crisis hotline that comes to the person. Call them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many places have a mobile crisis hotline that comes to the person. Call them.

has a case manager. Huge aversion to 'strangers' so refuses mobile hotline counsellors, even when I have them call them. At wits end, sorry. Case manager is not for crisis, just comes by once a week.

Says if I have committed, will kill herself as soon as out b/c she hates psych ward that much.

[Anonymous]

Is Cally a person or a cat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Cally a person or a cat?

Cat

[Anonymous]

Your sibling has no emotional regulation. She can't regulate her emotions at all. So when she feels bad, she feels as bad as it is possible for her to feel and when she feels good, she feels really, really good. She's miserable all the time.

Develop an action plan for what to do when she threatens suicide or talks about it. That email isn't threatening, it is explaining how bad she feels and then states that she isn't going to do it. Tell her that you know she feels bad, but the only thing to do is to keep moving forward for Cally's sake. Tell her that you know she can do it. She's a strong person to live with this all this time. Ask her to promise to call you or her therapist if she decides to kill herself. (Google "suicide safety plans" or "safety contracts"). Email her therapist and ask the therapist to address it with her.

If she actually threatens suicide ("Please take care of Cally. I am going to kill myself." ), you have to call 911 and ask them to do a check on her. Let the professionals take care of it. That is what they do.

On a day to day basis, encourage her to do one thing that will make her feel good today. Every day. The thing about borderlines is that they can snap out of the bad feelings as fast they snap into them.

Does she have meds? Because meds will even that out some.


Good luck, OP. Borderline is hell for everyone.

[Anonymous]

You need to decide how much you want to do and stick to that. It's horribly stressful, I know, but you have to take care of yourself. Decide how much want to be involved and then do no more.

Safety contracts don't do much, so please avoid trying to get into that. It is not your job to develop an action plan or treat your sibling. I know that sounds harsh, but you cannot keep up that level of care and turmoil without significant detriment to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Cally a person or a cat?

Thank you for making my day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Cally a person or a cat?

Thank you for making my day

? You are amused by this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is Cally a person or a cat?

Thank you for making my day

? You are amused by this?

I assume you have never had to dealy with severe mental illness.