Help! We need a playgroup or something
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Anonymous
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We need some way for my DS to learn to play with others. He's 2 1/2 and his social deficits are just starting to be apparent. He's not on the spectrum, but he's close. He's interested in others, but doesn't seem to know how to engage them. We've been sending him to a preschool program so he would learn to be around other kids, but I'm afraid that it is a waste of time because he doesn't interact with anyone there. He just plays with the toys and books. I think big groups are overwhelming.
I am really floundering around trying to find something that seems likely to work for him. I think we need something with just a few kids and with adults who are skilled facilitators. He may also need some kind of intervention to make him want to interact with others. If you have any ideas, I will be very grateful. |
Anonymous
Op, have you already looked into ChildFind? Getting my DS involved in their services such as a SN preschool setting with facilitators and NT peers was a huge help to us at that stage. |
Anonymous
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I second the idea of contacting Child Find and also talking with your pediatrician about the issue(s).
My child got very little (except frustrated) from a regular preschool. He really needed more hands-on social skills instruction and to learn how to participate with other kids. He just wasn't able to just pick it up from being in the same room. He also had some motor delays that weren't really apparent to me (first child) until about 2.5 to 3 years old. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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OP here.
We live in MoCo, so aren't eligible for ChildFind. We've looked into the MoCo programs, but they don't seem to be good fits. They have some drop in programs for this age, but I think DS needs to be around the same kids on a regular basis to get comfortable. For the MoCo regular programs that we know about, it looks like the group size is 8-12, which is similar to his pre-school class and I think is too big. |
Anonymous
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Our speech therapist ran groups for kids she thought would get along. Sue Abrams also has groups: http://www.ccl-md.com
Keep in mind, though, OP, that 2.5 is really young for interactive play. My younger child, who at age 6 is super social and completely NT, didn't really start interacting with other kids until 3 or even a little later. |
Anonymous
| My 2.5 year old has been in daycare since 6 months old, and still plays next to kids rather than with them... |
Anonymous
Why wasn't he a good fit for PEP? You could try LEAP Preschool at the UMD, but it's in PG county (near Ikea) and kind of a hike. Keep in mind that at 2.5 all kids are figuring out social skills. It's much easier to practice social skills for a kid when it's a one-on-one setting any way. Rick Lavoie wrote a very good book on social skills for LD kids and much of what he talks about can be applied to NT kids too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODxwotH5IEo There's a checklist in the back of how to have a successful play date: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_2_21/156-6582687-8433758?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=it%27s+so+much+work+to+be+your+friend&sprefix=it%27s+so+much+work+to+%2Caps%2C581 National Speech in Bethesda does a wonderful camp that takes kids as young as 2.5, but it's too late for this year. You could see if they have speech/social skill groups for kids that young. Or maybe Basic Concepts in Rockville? |
Anonymous
| He's 2.5 so I'm not sure what you see as his social deficits. Can you explain? At this age he should be just getting ready to play with other kids. |
Anonymous
| Are there any social skills groups in MoCo? He's awfully young... |
Anonymous
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I'm confused... did you contact ChildFind in MoCo and they said your child doesn't qualify for services?
From what you've posted, you've noted some deficits in joint attention. Are there speech issues? I feel like it's premature for you or anyone to recommend interventions for a child who may or may not have issues or even been evaluated by a professional. This child is very young. Maybe this is normal as other posters have noted. Having awesome back-and-forth with peers at 2.5 is a tall order. But I feel like you have an inkling that something isn't quite developing typically in this regard. But I would urge you to get a professional involved to work with you to figure this out before looking for interventions on the internet. |
Anonymous
| Can you send out an email to your neighborhood list Serv asking for a playgroup for kids your sons age? You don't have to mention that uour concerned about your sons delays, a lot of parents with kids that age would like a playgroup. I've had my son in a playgroup with kids since before we even knew he had differences. These kids are so used to having him around they don't think twice about it. It's also a great outlet for him to practice with neurotypical kids. |
Anonymous
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Do you work and need childcare OR are you a SAHP so want socialization but not childcare for him?
If you want socialization and you are a SAHP then you can do playgroups with children his age - if you can meet parents. make a concerted effort when at playgrounds to reach out to parents with children approximately his age and start to get to know them, then invite them to your house for a playdate. At this age, 2 children interacting side by side is great! He'll start interacting with children, and doing more cooperative play, as he gets closer to 3 years of age. Perhaps if you took a Music together class, you would meet parents of children around his age to get to know and start inviting to your house, maybe you could participate in a small weekly playdate with 5 children and their parents at rotating homes. IF you are a WOHP and you need childcare, you'll need to get a nanny who can do all those things, can have your child eventually attend PEP (at 3 years of age) if he qualifies, etc. Perhaps for childcare you could instead find a family childcare (someone in their home) who has a small group of children - this might work well. Of course some of the children would be much younger, but there wouldn't be any older, and he's not ready to interact with 3's and 4's probably. Far better to have 18 to 27 month olds, since he's more at that stage right now. Child Find is for all of Maryland, each county has it's own Child Find phone # so in MoCo's Infants and Toddlers is at this link: http://www.montgomeryschoolsmd.org/departments/special-education/programs-services/infants-and-toddlers.aspx From their website: Montgomery County Infants and Toddlers Program (MCITP) MCITP provides early intervention services to assist families with their efforts to address their children's developmental and special needs. MCITP serves families with children between birth and the beginning of the school year following the fourth birthday. Families and early intervention providers work as a team to define priorities, learn about available resources and discuss the child's strengths and needs. Early intervention services are provided in the child's natural environment (home and community settings where a child is during the day). The following may be provided based on each individual child's and family’s needs: Assistive Technology Audiology Interpreting Family counseling Family support Family training Nursing Nutritional counseling Occupational therapy Physical therapy Psychological testing Services for visual impairment Services for hearing impairment Social work Special instruction Speech/language therapy Transportation |
Anonymous
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Some kids are just better 1:1 than in a class. My DS at 4 still tends to cling to teachers in a class, but loves to play 1:1 with other kids. Also, absent a severe deficit, I think it is very hard to distinguish between NT behavior and a delay at only 2.5. Parallel play is still normal -- especially if it is already an overstimulating environment like daycare, and the child just needs some alone time. (Imagine if you were stuck in a small room with 15 other people all day! You'd probably like to just sit and read a book too for a good part of that.)
So, if you've had your child assessed and there are no delays, I would not panic about this. Just try to get some playdates together, and be on the look out for social skills developing over the next year. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks to everyone who responded. To clarify, DS is not NT. He has a host of fine and gross motor delays and sensory processing problems. He definitely also has social deficits. His eye contact is extremely variable, he has a tendency to get really stuck on things, it can be extremely difficult to get his attention away from an inanimate object, especially if he hasn't had tons and tons of sensory diet activities, and he often responds to us with memorized lines that are only sort of responsive. There are other more subtle things, too.
He's at home with a nanny who is wonderful in many ways, but has been really bad about setting up play dates for him. I didn't realize that MCITP was the same as Child Find. We get services from MCITP, but they don't have a social group that is appropriate for him. So we are looking for interventions that are helpful for social development. A social group for him needs to be very small (I'm guessing 5 or fewer kids) and have skilled facilitators. We will look into National Speech and Basic Concepts. It's also a great idea to check with his OT and SLP. Does anyone else have leads on places that might have the kind of social group that I am looking for? Even if they don't take 2.5 yr olds, I'm sure we will still need help next year. |
Anonymous
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I'd ask your speech therapist about setting up a dyad with another child in their practice. Group therapy is charged differently than individual.
In the near future, I’d apply to a language based or therapeutic preschool (keeping the nanny). In addition to LEAP, there’s the KEEP program at Kingsbury in DC, Maddux or Lourie Center in MD. You may also want to contact Easter Seals to see if they have an appropriate program. For when he’s a little older the Lab School does a great summer camp too: https://mediafiles01.myschoolcdn.com/ftpimages/541/misc/misc_135957.pdf Ivymount in Potomac does wonderful social skill groups as well but they don’t start until age 5. Be prepared for sticker shock. We’re lucky to have so many quality programs but they are not cheap. |