differences in your 3 vs your 4 year old?

[Anonymous]

Our 3 year old is just ridiculous. Bossy, demanding, aggressive, mean, sensitive, crying, loud and defiant. I know it's normal, but it's just. so. trying. Was 4 better? Please tell me it is better?

[Anonymous]

My DD was awful from 2.5 to 3.5. She just had So. Many. Big. Thoughts. And Feelings. They were overwhelming. She finally had all these complex thoughts, but couldn't always get them out. She was having all these feelings about things she was slowly starting to understand, but couldn't find the words to express them because she didn't understand them.

Around 3.5 things started getting much better. She's now two months shy of five, and a sheer joy to be around.

[Anonymous]

Yes, 4 was much, much better. 3 is that awkward age when they want so badly to be "big" and make all the decisions, but are still too little. Which makes them ANGRY. They start learning how to be social but completely lack any empathy, grace, or manners. There was a bit of a cognitive leap for our child right around turning 4, and the beginning of empathy emerged.

[Birdmom5]

Hang in there it does seem to get better they better they can communicate!!

[Anonymous]

4 is better. My daughter still cries and gets mad and frustrated, but I can actually see that she is able to get hold of herself, understand whatever rational explanation and/or choice I'm offering, and calm down. Mine has a very big personality and an attitude and that's probably never going to go away. I'm sure she gets it from me. But 4 is qualitatively different and better and improving all the time.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for posting this. You described my 3-year old exactly. He's just 3 weeks shy of turning 4 and I'm still waiting for things to turn the corner. Please keep the stories coming. I need hope too!!!

[Anonymous]

Same here! Thank you for posting and love the positive storie !

[Anonymous]

The threenager is strong here. We keep waiting for four.

[Anonymous]

3 is more frustrated than 4. 4 has the patience to work on reading, work on trying something over and over until she gets it. 3 is dramatic. 3 cries when the eggs and toast touch. 3 wants to help but isn't actually helpful.

What makes it even worse is 3 watches 4 be successful at the things 3 wants to do but can't.

[Anonymous]

Both are easy.

[Anonymous]

3-months into 4 and he's still hell-on-wheels.

[Anonymous]

Mom of a three year old here and I'm just happy to hear we're not alone. We have a new baby which is making everything even worse for our sweet little girl who so desperately want stop be a big girl. I described her the other day as a terrorist - as in "I don't negotiate with terrorists". Don't worry, she didn't hear that!

[Anonymous]

2 was a breeze compared to 3. Got better around 3.5 and with each passing month. At 4+, he became so much better able to communicate his emotions without flipping out to extremes. Except now I feel like to sassiness is starting to rear its head.

[Anonymous]

It absolutely got better for us. From crazy in a way that was breaking my spirit to crazy as in hilarious fart jokes and silly and fun.

Hang in there! Daniel Tiger and counting to three a lot kept us going.

[Anonymous]

It absolutely got better at four for us - and our friends. I think it comes down to better impulse control and self regulation. That said, the kids who were the drama, tantrum kids at three are probably going to always have that kind of personality. It just becomes more manageable at 4 and beyond. In our case, son was never any emotional trouble at 3 (never cried, tantrum, argue, get mad) but was physically challenging (running ahead in the street, hitting, just always physical and not listening). He's waaaayyyy better at 4 but he's clearly always going to be a busy, physical kid. Now he just understands the rules better. Point of the story is just analogy: that a tantrum 3-year old is going to be better behaved at 4 because they have better impulse control and understand expectations. But that doesn't mean that they don't still have the angry tantrum feelings inside of them.