In admiration - mom at concert

[Anonymous]

I hope this won't sound condescending.

I went to a concert tonight with a lot of families. There was a boy with visible SN who tried to approach the band, touch their equipment, etc a few times. His mother (I assume - or caretaker) redirected him patiently without making a scene and showed him the limit of how far he could go. He danced to the music right in front of the band and had a great time. He crossed the line once more, and his mother redirected him and played a little game with him to keep him calm. They left happily.

Again, apologies if this sounds condescending. I know most parents have some trying moments with their kids in public, and I just want to give kudos to all of you who manage trying moments all the time, whether or not your children's disabilities are obvious to others. I can't imagine the energy and patience this must take.

If the mom I saw tonight sees this, thank you for the great example of parenting and the joy of watching your son dance.

[Anonymous]

That's so nice of you, OP.

As a mom of a kid who needs a lot of redirection, you definitely get plenty of stares, glares, and comments. If only people realized how exhausting it can be. A lot of the time it isn't enjoying a moment with your kids, it's making sure they don't cross the line.

[Anonymous]

I hope the mom you saw tonight sees this and the PP's comment. It will mean the world to her. Even if she doesn't, others with the same challenges will, and it will put a smile on their face.

[Anonymous]

I once had a woman approach me when I took my quite visible SN child ice skating. She smiled and said something like Mom, you're doing good. It feel so nice to be acknowledged. Im not a fan of the "I don't know HOW you do it" but the small smiles are nice to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope this won't sound condescending.

I went to a concert tonight with a lot of families. There was a boy with visible SN who tried to approach the band, touch their equipment, etc a few times. His mother (I assume - or caretaker) redirected him patiently without making a scene and showed him the limit of how far he could go. He danced to the music right in front of the band and had a great time. He crossed the line once more, and his mother redirected him and played a little game with him to keep him calm. They left happily.

Again, apologies if this sounds condescending. I know most parents have some trying moments with their kids in public, and I just want to give kudos to all of you who manage trying moments all the time, whether or not your children's disabilities are obvious to others. I can't imagine the energy and patience this must take.

If the mom I saw tonight sees this, thank you for the great example of parenting and the joy of watching your son dance.

Please go away.

Just go away.

I don't need your pity. I love my child. I love being his mother.

[Anonymous]

Thank goodness for people like you op. When I would be going through tough times when my child was younger, I would always imagine that there was one person thinking kind thoughts.

Sometimes there are people around silently cheering you on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this won't sound condescending.

I went to a concert tonight with a lot of families. There was a boy with visible SN who tried to approach the band, touch their equipment, etc a few times. His mother (I assume - or caretaker) redirected him patiently without making a scene and showed him the limit of how far he could go. He danced to the music right in front of the band and had a great time. He crossed the line once more, and his mother redirected him and played a little game with him to keep him calm. They left happily.

Again, apologies if this sounds condescending. I know most parents have some trying moments with their kids in public, and I just want to give kudos to all of you who manage trying moments all the time, whether or not your children's disabilities are obvious to others. I can't imagine the energy and patience this must take.

If the mom I saw tonight sees this, thank you for the great example of parenting and the joy of watching your son dance.

Please go away.

Just go away.

I don't need your pity. I love my child. I love being his mother.

Good for you, PP. The OP wasn't expressing pity. She was expressing admiration that the mom kept her cool and obviously takes pride in who her kid is. Calm down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this won't sound condescending.

I went to a concert tonight with a lot of families. There was a boy with visible SN who tried to approach the band, touch their equipment, etc a few times. His mother (I assume - or caretaker) redirected him patiently without making a scene and showed him the limit of how far he could go. He danced to the music right in front of the band and had a great time. He crossed the line once more, and his mother redirected him and played a little game with him to keep him calm. They left happily.

Again, apologies if this sounds condescending. I know most parents have some trying moments with their kids in public, and I just want to give kudos to all of you who manage trying moments all the time, whether or not your children's disabilities are obvious to others. I can't imagine the energy and patience this must take.

If the mom I saw tonight sees this, thank you for the great example of parenting and the joy of watching your son dance.

Please go away.

Just go away.

I don't need your pity. I love my child. I love being his mother.

I don't like being made to feel like a Special Needs Madonna either. But I think this came from a good place.

[Anonymous]

OP - You did good to post because most Moms will see it and appreciate an understanding view. I just nominated a front line worker in our community for a major award because for 25 years he has worked with all individuals with all kinds of disabilities and challenges to help them acquire skills to the best of their abilities in recreation settings and social skills classes of all kinds. Why ---- to be better able to participate in typical functions and activities in their communities. A key point is that it is not that an idnvidual with real challenges can't learn a skill, but rather one can transfer it to different situations. This Mom is doing the right thing to take her son to events he will enjoy, but still might need some redirection to learn how to respond in things he does enjoy doing like going to a band concert. This individual that I am recognizing always has high expectations of all individuals with disabilities and does not condescend or lower the bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this won't sound condescending.

I went to a concert tonight with a lot of families. There was a boy with visible SN who tried to approach the band, touch their equipment, etc a few times. His mother (I assume - or caretaker) redirected him patiently without making a scene and showed him the limit of how far he could go. He danced to the music right in front of the band and had a great time. He crossed the line once more, and his mother redirected him and played a little game with him to keep him calm. They left happily.

Again, apologies if this sounds condescending. I know most parents have some trying moments with their kids in public, and I just want to give kudos to all of you who manage trying moments all the time, whether or not your children's disabilities are obvious to others. I can't imagine the energy and patience this must take.

If the mom I saw tonight sees this, thank you for the great example of parenting and the joy of watching your son dance.

Please go away.

Just go away.

I don't need your pity. I love my child. I love being his mother.

And yuck.

[Anonymous]

It sounds condescending. If someone made any comments like PP have said, I'd be very upset and uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds condescending. If someone made any comments like PP have said, I'd be very upset and uncomfortable.

Not PP. Please explain why. I have multiples who don't have special needs and I often get comments that I'm doing a good job and I often reach out to parents who I see may be in a challenging situation and give them a smile or an encouraging word. How is this condescending? I don't want to make people feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds condescending. If someone made any comments like PP have said, I'd be very upset and uncomfortable.

Not PP. Please explain why. I have multiples who don't have special needs and I often get comments that I'm doing a good job and I often reach out to parents who I see may be in a challenging situation and give them a smile or an encouraging word. How is this condescending? I don't want to make people feel bad.

Because you are only saying it as the child has SN. I would not change my parenting and still parent the same either way regardless of SN but I would not want someone approaching me saying a comment that was clearly related to the SN. People are trying to be friendly. If you want to be friendly for a friendship find another opening line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds condescending. If someone made any comments like PP have said, I'd be very upset and uncomfortable.

Not PP. Please explain why. I have multiples who don't have special needs and I often get comments that I'm doing a good job and I often reach out to parents who I see may be in a challenging situation and give them a smile or an encouraging word. How is this condescending? I don't want to make people feel bad.

Because you are only saying it as the child has SN. I would not change my parenting and still parent the same either way regardless of SN but I would not want someone approaching me saying a comment that was clearly related to the SN. People are trying to be friendly. If you want to be friendly for a friendship find another opening line.

Really? Most SNs necessitate a change in parenting style IMO.

However, I think it's fine if the OP didn't say anything in person b/c it would be awkward for both even if it's meant as a compliment.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting to me how differently people responded to this. For me, I have both non-SN and SN kids, and it lifts my spirits anytime someone takes the time to express a word of encouragement or any kind of positive sentiment about my parenting, particularly if it's from another mom--we all have our own challenges with our kids, whether SN or not, and i'll happily accept empathy or camaraderie when I'm lucky enough to find it. Most of the time I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails and the very farthest thing from a parenting pro, particularly with my SN son, so I honestly cherish the validation (and any advice that may come with it) when I get it.