What do I do?
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Anonymous
| I've been dating a great guy for almost 2 years. Over the last 4 months, we have spoken seriously about moving in together. (I'm a female by the way). We see each other almost daily and have a great time together. I see a real future with him. Everything has been perfect from my perspective. He told me about 1 year into our relationship that he's bi sexual, has known about it since he was 9 years old. He has had relationships with men and women. Mostly women. The sex has been good, not great, but good. I'm happy. 4 months ago we start talking seriously about moving in, marriage, kids. HE started the conversation. I 100% accept him and love him the way he is. Over the last month, he has become a little distant, we still see each other almost daily, do things together, have a great time. We have not had sex in the last month. Because of this, I was worried/concerned. I looked at his phone (yes, I know, I shouldn't need to do that!) to make sure that there was nothing there to validate my concerns and chalk it up to him being stressed or something over his job. I saw a picture that someone sent to him and it was a guy standing in the mirror showing his naked butt. It was in his downloads section, so he chose to keep this picture. I didn't see/read anything else alarming. WHAT DO I DO? |
Anonymous
| You talk to him about what's making him distant. |
Anonymous
| In any relationship -- be it bisexual, man/man, woman/woman, or the traditional -- the best way to deal with uncertainty is with communication. One speaks and voices one's concerns. Who cares if someone sent him a tushie pic? |
Anonymous
Who cares?? Are you kidding me? He's also been distant, which is why OP looked at his phone in the first place. I see this as a serious red flag. |
Anonymous
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It is unrealistic to think you will have a long-term monogamous (my phone tried to auto-correct monogamous to monotonous!!!) relationship let alone marriage and children with a guy who is bisexual. seems like a bad idea. I would recommend that you put "straight" on your must list for selecting a life partner - for your sake, his sake and the sake of the future children.
I am not anti-gay, I am anti deliberately making terrible life choices. |
Anonymous
You may not be anti-gay, but you are clearly anti-bisexual and lack common sense and understanding. Please don't presume to know how bisexuals thing, act, or feel when you clearly aren't one and don't know. OP, ignore this person. Confront your partner and ask. He may well be cheating on you, he may not. What came first - who knows. He could be cheating because he wants to be with men now. He could be stepping out because he fell out of love with you first and it happens to be a man. Hell, there could be women too. Or maybe he is just looking at pictures. There is no way to know without asking. That said, ups and downs in relationships, and cheating, are not some craziness that are exclusive to bisexuals, nor is monogamy exclusive to non-bisexuals. People are human, and humans do things that are good and bad, but there is literally 0 way for you to figure it out without asking. |
Anonymous
| You obviously break up with him. |
Anonymous
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Read this thread. Sounds like this would be in your future.
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/563205.page |
Anonymous
 Did you rehash this old thread just to be useless?
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Anonymous
+1. You can pontificate all you like but at the end of the day when kids and assets are involved you have to make a judgement call on the other person and the likelihood they will be a good 'bet'. |
Anonymous
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You have to talk to him. In person, face to face. Ask him what's going on.
Have you talked to him about his thoughts on monogamy? Monogamy is the real issue, moreso that being bisexual or not. Has he admitted to cheating in the past? Or overlapping relationships? (Some people let their current relationship die while staying in it going through the motions, find a "sure thing," and jump ship). Straight, gay, bisexual, I would not be happy if my husband had a pic of a naked person in his phone. Apparently sent from someone he knew. Nope. No way. Talk. |
Anonymous
| Well, he's cheating on you. Break up with him. Irrelevant that he's bi |
Anonymous
This person is a bad bet because they're cheating not because they're bi. |
Anonymous
| OP here: The person that sent the picture (I can see the face in the mirror) lives across the country. So, he is not physically cheating with him. |
Anonymous
| Have you talked with him? I think you should give him a chance to explain his side. |