Anorexia

[Anonymous]

If anyone has a child diagnosed with anorexia I'd like to ask you a few questions. We are at the end of our rope with dd and I feel like we have no where to turn for treatment.

[Anonymous]

I've been anorexic since I was 13.
I'm not fully recovered right now but doing pretty well
I'm a 33 year old mom of 2 elementary kids
Can I help?
My first question is always what is driving the anorexia?
Do you have a hunch?
Depression, sexual abuse, personality disorder, attention, peer group, anxiety
You have to treat whatever she is using the anorexia to cope
Second, get food in her, even her safe foods or whatever
THe less you eat food becomes repulsive, like poison and that makes it a lot worse

[Anonymous]

Think of it like treating an addiction. No amount of information about health and reality is going to work. She is going to need to decide she wants to get better. The earlier you can intervene, the better, too.

[Anonymous]

I am recovered. Love to help too. Please post your questions and ill check back later tonight.

[Anonymous]

Her illness is driving it I assume. She was diagnosed at 7 years old. We've already been to most of the treatment centers on the east coast and too many hospitals to count. She has personality tendencies I've been told that are common with anorexia. We are treating the depression but she is so malnourished how can anything work? Every time we go through the refeeding process she relapses again. She was discharged two weeks ago and despite trying at home she is already losing weight. Her team wants to put in a feeding tube we monitor at home.

How do we make her want to get better? What do we do?


Sorry I know there isn't a an end all be all answer.


I'm feeling so hopeless tonight. I just want my daughter back. There hasn't been a lot of support from our groups. I just want to hear that something worked for someone. Anything

[Anonymous]

NP here. I will be rooting for your family, I have no advice.

[Anonymous]

I am so so sorry. I was an anorexic teen. I ultimately ended up in inpatient treatment at Remuda Ranch in Arizona and credit it with saving my life, though it sounds like you have already been down that road. Please know that people can and do recover. Please know that I will be keeping you in and your daughter in my thoughts. I am so so sorry for what I put my parents through, though I felt powerless against it at the time. I will be rooting for you and your family. Stay strong and keep believing in her recovery, even when it feels helpless.

[Anonymous]

See beautyredefined.net as a resource. Not your only resource, and not going to fix this, but I LOVE what they have to say and their mission.

Good luck op. Wishing you and your DD the best.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how to give specific advice but I will try.
Eating for her is a kin to asking her to cut off her right arm.
She feels like gaining weight is failure and her world is crashing down. Anxiety can be crushing, but the weight loss and constant starvation makes you more anxious.
I would say the key component I've seen in recovery is not allowing her to be alone too much. Not jail, but just less time to wander into dark places.
If that's inpatient do it. If that's going on a trip to a new city, do that. If that's binge watching tv, do it.
If that's drinking 3 protein shakes or bars a day, do it. Otherwise force feeding her chicken and potatoes is useless and she will start throwing up.
Use her friends as allies to keep her busy.
Does she have close friends, a relative that can visit? Music? She needs to build a relationship, do you have animals? Would she like a puppy?
Is she on Instagram ? It's full of horribly triggering profiles and photos.
Honestly, I would look for unusual solutions like that and continue some kind of therapy but don't push too much.

If she is stable medically, back off about weight gain, but focus on not losing any more.

Replace any tight clothes, she will feel the weight gain if they don't fit and that will be devastating.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this will help, but ESPN's Body Issue is out and the muscles and health exuded by those photos motivated me to eat and eat healthfully.

[Anonymous]

I was anorexic as a teen and for me the drive was repulsion to sex and growing up. I wanted to stay a child- later I realized it was because I feared my family would break once I grew up. I was right on that... Once we were grown our 'perfect' family was found to be an illusion- my dad left for a young hot thing.

[Anonymous]

... Sorry hit send too fast...I got better when I found a doctor who told me it was OK to grow up and becoming a woman was not 'dirty'

[Anonymous]

She has to want something more than she wants to not eat. For me, it was dating; I knew it was weird that I wouldn't stay for breakfast, wouldn't meet for dinner ... Maybe a sport, a trip, a something would be her thing.

But, you say that she started this at 7? I honestly don't know; that really does sound like trying to treat an addict who is predisposed to it. I hope you find something that works. I feel so awful for you.

[Anonymous]

She needs inpatient residential care. Is she a minor?

[Anonymous]

Did you mean 17 or 7 when it started? If it's 7, that may change things.