When do I need to start making an effort for playdates, etc.?

[Anonymous]

My son just turned 2 -- I WOHM and my son has a nanny. He seems to be doing great and I just love spending time with him. I do worry, however, that I need to be getting more proactive about making mom friends so he will have playmates. Do I? I am a total introvert and it pains me to hang out with people. I have two close friends, a great DH, and a tight knit family -- and that is more than enough for me. I hate entertaining and going to networking/social events, etc. I tried joining a mommy group when he was first born and I just couldn't stand it.

So be straight with me -- when do I need to suck it up and start making mom friends for my DS's sake? DS is starting part-time preschool in September -- should I be organizing weekend playdates at that point? Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Nope. My kids are 4 and 2 and we've never had a playdate. We have visited with my friends who have kids and the kids played. But never a playdate. In my older son, friends are just starting to matter - I'd say since 3.5 I've felt he was choosing some kids over others to be friends with at school. But before then? They just play alongside each other regardless of who it is. Just do it if you want to and not for any other reason.

[Anonymous]

At that age I still did playdates more for me, if at all. Somewhat for socializing/giving my DD opportunities to behave like a terrible two year old, and somewhat because I felt like I should, but as long as your DS is getting some socialization with other kids, which he will get in preschool, I would put this in the category of "Things I Worried About At the Time But Should Not Have."

[Anonymous]

When the kids start clamoring for them.

[Anonymous]

Is your nanny an introvert? Can you push the playdate thing onto her? My nanny meets up with her friends who SAHM and nanny friends during the day with my kids. She also does preschool drop-off and pick-up and makes playdates that way. I am not really sure how you do it as a WOHM unless you have work friends with kids or are really exceptional at making friends with total strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your nanny an introvert? Can you push the playdate thing onto her? My nanny meets up with her friends who SAHM and nanny friends during the day with my kids. She also does preschool drop-off and pick-up and makes playdates that way. I am not really sure how you do it as a WOHM unless you have work friends with kids or are really exceptional at making friends with total strangers.

Well, my nanny is a close relative, so I probably should've just been up front about that. She's an introvert too -- takes DS a lot of places (park, mall, grocery store, pool) but isn't initiating playdates. DS doesn't care yet obviously -- he is too young still to even know what playing with others is, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your nanny an introvert? Can you push the playdate thing onto her? My nanny meets up with her friends who SAHM and nanny friends during the day with my kids. She also does preschool drop-off and pick-up and makes playdates that way. I am not really sure how you do it as a WOHM unless you have work friends with kids or are really exceptional at making friends with total strangers.

This! Nanny can totally do this. Let he know that you'd love it if she can arrange playdates. You're happy to have her host them at your house, or have your kids go elsewhere. The kids will probably just parallel play now, but will get more out of each other in another 6-12 months.

[Anonymous]

My kid has been in a twice-a-week playgroup since three months old. Once a week the nanny takes the girls, and once a week I take them.

[Anonymous]

Playdates are for the kids to learn social skills/socialize. He'll probably do preschool at some point, so you don't necessarily need to do playdates.

[Anonymous]

The nanny should organize play dates with other kids in the part time preschool that have nannies - he problem for you will be the moms who are there want to do the play dates with other moms. We do them bc they seem to help our kid with friendships at school, but lots of families don't do any and their kids are doing great and have tons of friends

[Anonymous]

I felt like play dates eased my DDs transition to preschool because she was already used to a loud environment with a lot of stealing toys, etc, and was already schooled on proper social behavior to some degree. She could have learned this at school, but my DD was very shy and I wanted her to be comfortable before she started.

[Anonymous]

OP - I WOH and we have a nanny for our about to 2 year old. And heck no am I setting up play dates. I wouldn't even call myself an introvert, but I just don't have the energy or time for this. My DD goes to the playground almost every day and we take her to the child care at the gym about 3 times a week, so she has plenty of time with other kids. She'll go to preschool when she is 3, so we can make friends there.

[Anonymous]

You should at the very least have him do a class or two to get used to being around other kids

[Anonymous]

I would enroll him in PT preschool and have your nanny take him. He will start getting invited to birthday parties and preschool at that age is like on big play date with some learning.

[Anonymous]

Once your son is in preschool, he'll probably get plenty of social interaction there. For now, maybe a rec class here and there, like tumbling, will get him used to being around other kids. On weekends, once he's a bit older, you can take him to the playground and let him play with other kids there while you mostly chill with your phone or a book.